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marval

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marval
Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price. He was heavier than Alan Price though. As I found out on a Price comparison website....
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My computer came up with message, "Enter new password." So I changed it to "Beef stew." A message came up saying, "Sorry, not stroganoff."...
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I am very proud of my son today as he started his new job as a Concrete Lorry Driver. I have been told he is already mixing in well with the others....
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What is the name of the Russian man who invented a cure for the common cold? Benylin Forchestikov....
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I was arrested for stealing someone's coffee the other day. I have been charged with mugging....
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I have just come back from a conference on mono sound reproduction. There was only one speaker....
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I went to answer a knock on the door this morning. Outside was a very small man leafing through a paperback book. "You're a little chap, how tall are you?" I asked. "I'm three feet three inches tall,"...
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Awankwo Abuuguu, the African boxing champion who two years ago lost both his feet in a horrific car crash, has amazingly won his latest comeback fight. He is now looking to challenge for the world...
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I have discovered that mountains are not just funny. They are hill areas....
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My partner left me tonight. He had sent me to the butchers for a turkey and I came back with some roadkill I'd hit on the way. I'm not too bothered, wheel meat again....
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When I was in London a few months ago, I was approached by a prostitute as I left a club on one of the back streets of Soho. Mainly interested in checking the rate of exchange I assure you, I asked,...
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Don't forget, this Sunday at 8pm on channel 4. A new series about the Caledonian canal. I look forward to it....
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I can't stand fish. They have no legs....
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I went outside this morning and a cup fell out of the sky and smashed on my head. Then another cup smashed on the floor in front of me and another one on my shoulder. I went back inside the house and...
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I have received an e-mail from a lady dying of cancer, her husband died five years ago. She has chosen me to distribute her twenty-five million dollar wealth. Let me know if you think you qualify. I...
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Canadian geese are known to fly in a "V" shaped as they migrate across the county. The lead goose in the "V" cuts through the air making it easier for the rest of the geese behind him. As that lead...
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Man in farm murder inquiry bailed. As much as I like to see the punishment fitting the crime scenario I'm not sure what throwing blocks of hay at him will achieve....
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The policeman, responding to a call of domestic violence, said to Mrs Smith, "Why did you throw the iron at your husband?" "Because he called me a nymphomaniac!" "Is that," asked the officer, "a good...
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Two smart fellows were in a pub. They called the pub's owner over and asked him to settle an argument. "Are there two pints in a quart or four?", asked one. "There are two pints in a quart", confirmed...
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What do you call a dog who starts bringing dead birds home? A copycat....

861 to 880 of 3998

First Previous 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 Next Last