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marval

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marval

Dyslexic Girlfriend

My dyslexic girlfriend texted me from the shop asking if i'd like anything brought home. I was delighted when she brought home some adult magazines and videos of naked police women. All I asked for...
21:27 Fri 23rd Sep 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 23:00 Fri 23rd Sep 2016
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marval

Ooh What A Meanie

The morning of his wife's birthday a man handed her a gift. As she unwrapped it she said, "It's a wand! What do I want with a wand?" "It's not just any wand." He replied, "It's a magic wand!"...
19:52 Fri 23rd Sep 20164 answers, last by tandh 00:32 Sat 24th Sep 2016
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marval

Silly Policemen

That’s all I needed on top of the day I've had. I just got back home to find four Police Officers in my house looking for something, acting like lunatics and telling me to stand still. They were...
18:45 Fri 23rd Sep 20163 answers, last by waterboatman 04:07 Sat 24th Sep 2016
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marval

Business Trip

A man on a business trip went to a singles bar. He approached two ladies, and offered either of them two hundred pounds to spend the night with him. One girl stormed out in a rage, but the other...
21:23 Thu 22nd Sep 2016
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marval

I Met

I met my boyfriend in a photographer's dark room. Things just developed from there....
16:20 Thu 22nd Sep 201615 answers, last by Prudie 20:27 Thu 22nd Sep 2016
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marval

Words Fail Me

I have just read this story, I cannot believe anyone could be so cruel. http://news.sky.com/story/appeal-as-five-kittens-thrown-at-moving-train-in-norfolk-10587180...
16:30 Wed 21st Sep 201612 answers, last by rsvp 19:54 Wed 28th Sep 2016
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marval

I Used

I used to have a job in a cafe, but then I left. The work wasn't my cup of tea....
16:26 Wed 21st Sep 20166 answers, last by marval 21:47 Wed 21st Sep 2016
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marval

Get It Out

A man met this hot babe in a club. She was really up for it. They left the club and went down the nearest alley. "Get your wedding tackle out!" she cried. Grey top hat, pinstripe trousers and a dried...
16:48 Mon 19th Sep 2016
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marval

Crime

There have been a series of crimes in the Glasgow area. Chief Inspector McTavish has announced that he is looking for a man with one eye. If he doesn't find him, he's going to use both eyes....
16:08 Mon 19th Sep 20162 answers, last by frugalfred 20:04 Mon 19th Sep 2016
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marval

Latest News

A car designer has crossed a Toyota with Quasimodo. The new car will be called the Hatchback of Notre Dame....
21:23 Sun 18th Sep 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 21:51 Sun 18th Sep 2016
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marval

Amore

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie - That's amore. When an eel bites your hand and that's not what you planned - That's a moray. When our habits are strange and our customs deranged -...
14:39 Sun 18th Sep 201621 answers, last by Trevilino 09:29 Thu 22nd Sep 2016
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marval

How Close?

A businessman in the first class cabin decided to chat up the drop dead, gorgeous flight attendant: “What is your name?” Flight Attendant: “Angela Benz, sir” Businessman: “Lovely name, any...
17:03 Sat 17th Sep 20162 answers, last by marval 21:30 Sat 17th Sep 2016
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Grandpa's Advice

I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the internet, but from a mentor, and on a very personal level. My...
13:57 Sat 17th Sep 20164 answers, last by waterboatman 05:26 Sun 18th Sep 2016
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marval

Groan

My mate died after taking an E. Countdown's security staff don't mess about. If you download load a movie illegally in Jamaica. Does that make you a Pirate of the Caribbean? Sitting in the pub, my...
17:51 Fri 16th Sep 2016
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marval

Special Offer

I went to my local budget supermarket the other day and was amazed to see that they had a special offer on huge antlers. Never one to resist a bargain, i bought a pair. But they were so massive that...
18:33 Thu 15th Sep 20166 answers, last by zebo 20:16 Thu 15th Sep 2016
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marval

Police Appeal

Police have issued an appeal after receiving complaints from farmers that their cows are being stolen during the night. Apparently they are looking for a man with a big moo-stash....
17:42 Thu 15th Sep 201610 answers, last by Patsy33 20:26 Thu 15th Sep 2016
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marval

I Guess

A group of tourists were watching the re-enactment of an ancient Egyptian religious ritual. One tourist turned to a nearby local, pointed to the statue that was being praised and asked, "Pardon me,...
17:24 Thu 15th Sep 201616 answers, last by Tilly2 18:01 Thu 15th Sep 2016
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marval

Oops

The attractive wife told her husband she was going on vacation with a girlfriend, but she really went with her long time wealthy lover, who gave her a beautiful £10,000 mink coat. But she couldn't...
21:29 Wed 14th Sep 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 22:45 Wed 14th Sep 2016
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marval

I Went

I went to a restaurant near Wimbledon. I thought the service would be better....
15:07 Tue 13th Sep 201614 answers, last by Patsy33 10:18 Wed 14th Sep 2016
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marval

No

Fanny and Myron get married and on their first night in bed, Myron puts his arm around Fanny and very sweetly whispers, "Fanny darling, please pull up your nightgown." Very sweetly Fanny answers,...
20:34 Sat 10th Sep 2016

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