Donate SIGN UP

marval

981 to 1000 of 3998

First Previous 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 Next Last

Avatar Image
marval

Sued

I've started up a mobile disco to make a some extra cash. But I'm being sued for ruining a wedding I did last night. I only had two ringtones on my phone....
20:10 Thu 21st Jul 201612 answers, last by Baldric 16:13 Sat 23rd Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

The Dog Did It

I had worked late and my Labrador was so overjoyed to see me arrive home that he jumped up just as I leaned down. Our heads collided and I sported an impressive shiner for several weeks. I had to...
20:59 Sun 17th Jul 20161 answer, last by Patsy33 07:26 Mon 18th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Why?

Why did the baker add Viagra to his flour? He'd run out of self-raising!...
16:49 Sun 17th Jul 201614 answers, last by Patsy33 17:44 Sun 17th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Removal

A surgeon goes to return some books he borrowed from the library. The librarian quips after checking the books. "Sir, your books are always returned with the last page missing in every single book."...
20:16 Sat 16th Jul 20161 answer, last by maggiebee 19:00 Sun 17th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

What Do You Get?

What do you get when you cross A fawn with a hornet? Bambee. A canary with a mole? A miner bird. A pig with a cactus? A porkerpine. A cat with a lemon? A sourpuss. A banana with a red silk dress? A...
14:18 Sat 16th Jul 20163 answers, last by Butterbun 21:40 Sat 16th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Fox Pass

In the north of England lived a man, poorly educated, who made a large fortune by selling his design for a bicycle chain. With this money he set about realising his childhood ambition to become a...
11:45 Sat 16th Jul 20162 answers, last by Quoi 19:38 Sat 16th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Thawing Your Meat

A man goes to a hamburger stand and orders a burger. The waitress takes out two frozen patties and sticks them under her arms. The man says "What the are you doing?" She replies, "I'm defrosting...
19:51 Fri 15th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

The Cat To English Dictionary

CAT PHRASE - MEANING Miaow - Feed me. Meeow - Pet me. Mrooww - I love you. Miioo-oo-oo - I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up. Mrow - I feel like making...
13:58 Fri 15th Jul 20162 answers, last by marval 14:17 Fri 15th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Careful Who You Talk To.

A traveling salesman was about to check in at a hotel when he noticed a very stunning woman smiling at him from across the piano bar. In a causal manner he walked over and spoke to her as though he...
20:38 Thu 14th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

A Little Birdie Told Me

Do you know someone who seems to know everything? When asked why, they say, "A little birdie told me." Did you know they probably aren't lying? It is a little known fact that there are little birds...
17:07 Tue 12th Jul 20162 answers, last by whiskeryron 18:35 Tue 12th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Sex Education

We did sex education at school, and were shown various films on the Subject. One I especially remember was called, "How to put on a condom." So when the time came, and I was in the position to try out...
14:58 Sat 09th Jul 20162 answers, last by retrocop 12:52 Sun 10th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Come Quickly

It was three o'clock in the morning, and the receptionist at a posh hotel was just dozing off, when a little old lady came running towards her, screaming. "Please come quickly!" she yelled, "I just...
17:13 Fri 08th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Counts

I opened a small accountancy practice which I named 'Counts'. Business was pretty poor until I realised that the 'o' had fallen off the sign outside the office....
14:24 Wed 06th Jul 20164 answers, last by piggynose 14:19 Fri 08th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Big Red Lobster

A seafood restaurant had a sign in the window that read, "Big Lobster Tales, £5 each." Amazed at the great value, a man stopped in and asked the waitress, "Five pounds each for lobster tails. Is that...
17:53 Tue 05th Jul 20165 answers, last by zabado 08:35 Wed 06th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Do You Like?

Goldie, a recently widowed lady, was sitting on a Florida beach near Venice. She looked up and noticed that an elderly gentleman had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading...
17:19 Mon 04th Jul 20163 answers, last by Arksided 15:38 Wed 06th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

What?

What happens if you swallow uranium? You get atomic ache....
15:30 Mon 04th Jul 20164 answers, last by Berniecuddles2 08:45 Tue 05th Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

No Worry

I had been worrying about my geography exam for a long time. When I sat down to take it, the first question read; "What is the correct term for any wind that blows between 4 and 30 miles per hour?" I...
13:29 Sun 03rd Jul 20163 answers, last by Patsy33 14:07 Sun 03rd Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

No Harm In Sex

When Ali, the sheik's most devoted eunuch, died unexpectedly in the middle of the night, the potentate's teenaged son asked his father how this unhappy event had come to pass. "My son," said the...
20:47 Sat 02nd Jul 20169 answers, last by tonyav 23:36 Sat 02nd Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Are You Bored?

If you are bored or a little bit stressed, have a look at this. Just click on the bears and away you go. http://www.nobodyhere.com/toren.hier...
18:25 Sat 02nd Jul 20166 answers, last by marval 20:25 Sat 02nd Jul 2016
Avatar Image
marval

Putt

An older couple are playing in the annual club championship. They are playing in a playoff hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance and her husband can see...
14:20 Sat 02nd Jul 20162 answers, last by piggynose 16:30 Sat 02nd Jul 2016

981 to 1000 of 3998

First Previous 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 Next Last