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marval

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marval

I Tried

I tried to start up a chicken dating agency but failed. It was a struggle to make hens meet....
21:56 Sat 30th Apr 201628 answers, last by elliemay1 22:05 Mon 02nd May 2016
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marval

Advice

My doctor told me to cut down on sodium. I’m taking his advice with a pinch of salt....
21:42 Wed 27th Apr 20168 answers, last by Patsy33 22:21 Wed 27th Apr 2016
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marval

A Chat

Two Pheasants are having a chat One says "fancy being chased into the sky by dogs and then being shot at?" The other says "Only if you're game"....
16:16 Wed 27th Apr 201645 answers, last by tonyav 21:42 Wed 27th Apr 2016
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marval

I've Gone

I've gone to the new restaurant called Moon and it serves lots of Satellite dishes. I never let my children listen to jazz or classical music. It is full of sax and violins. Is a book on voyeurism a...
20:48 Tue 26th Apr 20161 answer, last by 1ozzy 20:52 Tue 26th Apr 2016
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marval

Fetishes

Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realised I'd hit rock bottom....
20:46 Mon 25th Apr 20165 answers, last by cupid04 12:08 Tue 26th Apr 2016
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marval

I Was

I was in a horse race, and I got to the finishing line and then I got hit in the eye by an apple seed. I was pipped at the post....
19:28 Mon 25th Apr 201626 answers, last by Patsy33 22:06 Mon 25th Apr 2016
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marval

What's Going On?

I saw these people sitting in a circle, handing each other a bit of ravioli. I said, "What's going on?" A guy said, "It's pasta parcel"...
18:09 Mon 25th Apr 20162 answers, last by marval 19:26 Mon 25th Apr 2016
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marval

Crying

I saw this really sad film the other day, and when I walked out I burst into tears. Then a policeman came up to me. He said, “I’m fining you £10." I said, “For crying out loud!" He said,...
15:24 Mon 25th Apr 20161 answer, last by elliemay1 15:26 Mon 25th Apr 2016
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marval

I Want

I want my son to be a successful comic when he's older. So I named him Marvel....
13:39 Sun 24th Apr 201612 answers, last by Patsy33 18:26 Sun 24th Apr 2016
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marval

Slightly Haunted

A couple had trouble selling their home after strange apparitions and sounds forced them to admit that it was slightly haunted. They asked the local estate agent to put a more positive spin on it....
14:54 Sat 23rd Apr 2016
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marval

Did You Hear?

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself? The Hand family consists of 10 electricians. Their motto is "Many Hands make light work." Shakespeare...
21:09 Fri 22nd Apr 2016
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marval

Last Night

Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I'm easily lead....
09:50 Tue 19th Apr 201627 answers, last by marval 13:17 Tue 19th Apr 2016
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marval

Daft Paddy

Paddy says to Murphy, “I robbed a shop last night.” “I took a load of pictures, the cheapest one is worth £180.00.” Murphy says, “Paddy ya daft begger, you’ve robbed an estate agent.”...
21:32 Mon 18th Apr 2016
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marval

My Ex

George decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, George was organising his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him. After a long...
17:00 Sun 17th Apr 201612 answers, last by Patsy33 22:03 Sun 17th Apr 2016
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marval

First Ever

NatWest have installed the first ever cash machine in a tree in Epping Forest. If it proves successful, they might open them in other branches....
17:55 Sat 09th Apr 201630 answers, last by Patsy33 20:34 Sat 09th Apr 2016
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marval

Escaped

Some aquatic mammals at the zoo escaped. It was otter chaos....
17:11 Mon 04th Apr 201616 answers, last by marval 20:59 Mon 04th Apr 2016
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marval

Cremation

Have you ever wondered what a cremation is like? Well now's your chance to find out. I am not sure I fancy having a go. http://news.sky.com/story/1671898/virtual-cremation-offers-death-experience...
16:25 Sun 03rd Apr 201613 answers, last by hc4361 15:15 Mon 04th Apr 2016
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marval

Paint

A man got his house painted. When the painters were done they handed him the bill. He was surprised to find that the painters were not charging him for the paint, just labour. He asked them, "You did...
15:18 Sun 03rd Apr 201614 answers, last by Patsy33 19:03 Sun 03rd Apr 2016
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marval

Great Canal Journeys

Don't forget 8pm tonight Channel 4
15:02 Sun 03rd Apr 20164 answers, last by marval 15:28 Sun 03rd Apr 2016
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marval

A Friend

A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realised that toucan play at that game.
17:46 Fri 01st Apr 2016155 answers, last by Khandro 14:00 Mon 04th Apr 2016

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