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marval

1281 to 1300 of 3998

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marval
If you are bored, click on the link and be even more bored. http://garyc.me/bring/...
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marval
Guide dogs for the blind have announced, that they will be training a new Muslim guide dog. It will be called a Barka...
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marval
I never understood the concept of clamping. You don't want the car to park there, yet you put a device on the car's wheel to ensure they can't move. Genius....
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marval
My partner is on the Cyclops diet. He's always got one eye on the fridge....
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marval
A dentist had an old lady patient who was very hard to handle. As soon as she sat in the chair, she panicked and would clamp her mouth shut so firmly that he couldn't get it open to work on her teeth....
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I did a bit of cross dressing this morning. The vicar said it really brightened up the church....
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marval
I was in Home Bargains yesterday, I just happened to notice some bottles of Pussy. It is an energy drink, I had never heard of it before. Sorry, but I had to smile....
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marval
My father was always saying. "Keep your trap shut!" I resent him for that. So does my greyhound....
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marval
I tried one of those cereal bars this morning. What a rip off - they were charging Four pounds fifty for a pint of Frosties....
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A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down the high Street. "But, officer," the man began, "I can explain" "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you...
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marval
A man goes into a pet shop and sees a talking dog. After chatting to it for ten minutes he buys it. Later he goes into a pub and says, "I bet everyone fifty pounds that this dog can talk." A few...
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I have just been ripped off by a Chinese man. This pan he sold me doesn't fly at all....
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marval
Affidavit –Davit is first in line. You’re second. Assault – usually paired with a pepper Bribe – married to a Groom Caveat emptor – time to fill up the caveat Contempt – offering sweets to...
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marval
A university student on a dare stole twenty-three bottles of beer one night. He was arrested and charged. But to his relief the magistrate dropped the charges. She said she could not make a case of...
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marval
A daughter told her father that her upcoming wedding was going to cost him about ten thousand pounds. "How can it be costing me anything?" he asked. "I thought I was giving you away?"...
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marval
I was out shopping today when I thought I'd take a risk. I would have taken a Monopoly but they had sold out....
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marval
In an action packed magazine this season, we bring you local and farming news. But first what’s happening in parliament. A recent survey has revealed that 90% of politicians have not learnt to swim....
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marval
I am getting no sleep. I live next to the Slazenger factory. They make such a racket....
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marval
I could do with a fizzy drink. I've been drinking lemonade for 5 days flat....
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marval
I was at my local herb and spice shop when the shop keeper asked if he could help me. I said "No thank you I am just browsing." He said "take as much time as you want" So I nicked the whole lot....

1281 to 1300 of 3998

First Previous 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 Next Last