A third grader went home and told her mother she was in love with a classmate and was going to marry him. "That's fine" said her mother, going along with the gag. "Does he have a job?" The little girl...
Another property question, would you be happy to live this close to the railway? I like the house, but am not sure about the noise, even if it is only one train an hour....
A customer whose hair kept falling out complained to his barber. "That stuff you gave me," he cried, "it's terrible! You said three bottles of it would make my hair grow, but nothing's happened." "I...
A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her, and having an affair with the maid. So she laid down a trap. One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn't tell her...
Two small county judges both got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than call the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge, each agreed to hear the other's case. The first judge took the...
A wife asked her husband. "How would you describe me?" Her husband replied. "ABCDEFGHIJK." His wife said. "What does that mean?" Her husband replied. "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant,...
Would you fancy having a go on the worlds tallest water slide?
I am not sure I would.
http://news.sky.com/story/1296617/test-riding-worlds-tallest-water-slide...
1. The female always makes the rules. 2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. 3. No male can possibly know all the rules. 4. If the female suspects the male knows...
A soldier, who was habitually drunk, publicly announced to all the men in his company and surrounding companies that he was swearing off drinking and that all the other soldiers should give up this...
2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds Ratio of an igloo”s circumference to its diameter Eskimo Pi 2000 pounds of Chinese soup Won ton Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement 1...
A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "what's the matter?" The fellow replies, "well I've got these two horses (sniff,sniff), and well... I...
A man and his girlfriend are having a sexual encounter. He asks her to "go downtown" so, with a sigh, she gets on her knees in front of him and starts peering at his genitals. looking and tipping her...
Arnie, a management executive, has on his doctor's orders, to take part in some form of sporting activity. Arnie decides to play tennis. After a few of weeks Moya, his secretary asks him how he's...
There was a clerk in a small town general store in the South. One day, a tall man entered the store and began filling a shopping cart with items. This man was so distinctive in that he could have been...
A Texas Rancher was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely forty something lady dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the...
A nurse noticed a man in golf attire pacing up and down outside the operating room where another golfer who had a golf ball driven down his throat, was being treated. "Is he a relative of yours?" the...
At a country club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her attention and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken...
I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said. "Sorry," said the fairy, "but I am not allowed to grant that type of wish." "Fine," I said, "Then I want to die when...