Donate SIGN UP

marval

1961 to 1980 of 3998

First Previous 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 Next Last

Avatar Image
marval

Husband And Wife

The husband was furious when he found out their bank account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, "It's my turn." "What do you mean, your turn?" yelled the husband. "In bed," she...
17:56 Fri 27th Dec 20133 answers, last by tonyav 23:56 Fri 27th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Name

A sister from a local convent became a Certified Public Accountant to help small shop owners manage their finances better. Her title: "Nun of Your Business."...
19:10 Thu 26th Dec 20131 answer, last by excelsior-1 22:55 Fri 27th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Three Dates

After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the young lady decided she had been stood up. She changed from her dinner dress into pyjamas’ and slippers, made herself a coffee and...
12:11 Thu 26th Dec 20137 answers, last by tonyav 21:43 Thu 26th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Prinderella And The Cince For The Drunk Among Us

This is a stairy fory. Tonce upon a wime there was a gritty little pearl named Prinderella. She lived with her two sisty uglers and her nicked wepstother. She weaned the clindows, flubbed the scores...
20:57 Wed 25th Dec 20136 answers, last by marval 09:58 Thu 26th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Christmas Medley

(To the tune of "Good King Wenceslas) Christmas morning down the pub Getting drunk and perky While the missus stays at home Trying to cook the turkey Got thrown out at closing time Head in need of...
20:56 Wed 25th Dec 20132 answers, last by starone 23:36 Wed 25th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

The Office Christmas Party

To the tune of "The Day We Went To Bangor" Didn't we have A lovely time At the office Christmas party Drunk as a skunk On some 'orrible plonk Donated by the Sales Director Dancing up close And eyeing...
20:53 Wed 25th Dec 20133 answers, last by marval 20:58 Wed 25th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Pam Ayres Anyone?

I love Pam Ayres poems, this is her Christmas one that I thought I would share. Goodwill To Men Give Us Your Money by Pam Ayres Happy Christmas to you all, and may 2014 bring all you wish for. It was...
23:56 Tue 24th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Grandson

“Hi! My name is Gertrude,” said the lady next to a man on the plane. ”It’s so nice to meet you! I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday. I’m so excited! I remember when...
22:41 Tue 24th Dec 20136 answers, last by marval 00:01 Wed 25th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Paddy

Paddy goes for a job at a chemical factory. The factory manager asks "Have you worked with chemicals before?" "Yes!" Paddy replies. The manager asks "Can you tell me what nitrate is?" Paddy replies...
21:36 Mon 23rd Dec 20132 answers, last by berniecuddles 21:39 Mon 23rd Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Irish Pull Harder

Paddy riding his horse was trapped in quick sand and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. "Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" "Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon,...
20:12 Mon 23rd Dec 20132 answers, last by askyourgran 20:49 Mon 23rd Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Kiss

Shortly before Christmas, a business man was anxious to get home. The business trip had been grueling and he was not in a particularly good mood. The airport loudspeakers blared Christmas carols he...
19:16 Mon 23rd Dec 20134 answers, last by marval 19:01 Tue 24th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

This Might Make You Wince

An Englishman shot himself in the groin recently. He had been drinking fifteen pints of beer and had stuffed a sawed-off shotgun down his pants. Apparently, the man was under the impression the gun...
21:51 Thu 19th Dec 20136 answers, last by marval 22:04 Fri 20th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Sporting

On a train from London to Manchester, an American was telling off the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. "You English are too stuffy. You set yourselves apart too much. Look at me....
22:40 Wed 18th Dec 20133 answers, last by excelsior-1 18:17 Thu 19th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Be Honest

A fellow passed a house with a little red light burning in front, so he stepped inside. There was nothing in sight and nothing there but an empty bare hallway, with two doors reading, "Over 35" and...
16:45 Wed 18th Dec 20133 answers, last by Butterbun 16:52 Wed 18th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Dear Father Christmas

Dear Father Christmas, this Christmas could you please send me a yellow door. Yours, Sherlock Holmes Watson: So why do you want a yellow door Holmes? Lemon-entry my dear Watson. Dear Father Christmas,...
23:18 Mon 16th Dec 20133 answers, last by Hypognosis 21:41 Wed 01st Jan 2014
Avatar Image
marval

So Proud

Two very elderly friends, Max and Ralph met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Ralph didn't show up. Max didn't think much about it,...
15:44 Mon 16th Dec 20131 answer, last by jim360 16:00 Mon 16th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Hole

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the...
22:01 Sun 15th Dec 20133 answers, last by Chipchopper 21:54 Mon 16th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Kids

A five-year-old boy couldn't wait to tell his grand-father about the film he had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him...
11:08 Sun 15th Dec 20133 answers, last by rosyposy 22:38 Sun 15th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

Chic Murray

Visiting London, I was asked by a stranger, "Do you know the Battersea dog's home?" I replied, "I didn't even know it was away." My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk...
23:27 Sat 14th Dec 201313 answers, last by maggiebee 12:08 Sun 15th Dec 2013
Avatar Image
marval

The Last Reindeer

A reindeer walked into a pub, strolled up to the bar and ordered a pint of lager. Completely unphased, the barman poured out the lager and passed it to the reindeer, who handed over a ten pound note....
15:53 Sat 14th Dec 20131 answer, last by bookbinder 15:54 Sat 14th Dec 2013

1961 to 1980 of 3998

First Previous 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 Next Last