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marval

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10ClarionSt

The cafe menu

A man went in a cafe and ordered pi$$ holes and chips. The waitress said I beg your pardon? The man showed her the menu; look, it says it there, pi$$ holes and chips. The waitress says no, that should...
20:14 Fri 10th Apr 20092 answers, last by brionon 10:39 Sat 11th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Something for the long holiday weekend?

1. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 2. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 3. The teacher confiscated a catapult in the...
10:03 Fri 10th Apr 20095 answers, last by marval 15:48 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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dilligaf

r.i.p.

Dear Jackie, I am so sorry to hear about your daughter Jade. I can't stop thinking about her little boys. All my love, Garry Glitter.
14:19 Fri 10th Apr 20097 answers, last by BilluSugger 16:44 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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Beatrice35

Please pray for my hubby- chest pains

My hubby has just phoned me to say he is on his way home. He has chest pains. Just hope he will be okay to drive. Cannot drive myself. Praying big time for him right now. Spoken to him on phone yet...
12:02 Thu 09th Apr 200940 answers, last by Gormless 10:48 Sun 12th Apr 2009
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McMouse

2 cowboys talking about their love life

1 cowboy says 'I like the rodeo position !' 'I haven't heard of that ... ' says the other cowboy, 'what is it ?' 'Well get your girlfriend down on all fours and mount her from behind. Then reach round...
13:23 Thu 09th Apr 20092 answers, last by texol 14:41 Mon 13th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

For art's sake!

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when...
09:22 Thu 09th Apr 20097 answers, last by no-knowledge 17:02 Fri 10th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

The last of my medical daffynitions

Inpatient - Tired of waiting Intern - One after another Intestine - Currently taking an exam Jaundice: To include in a group Kinaesthetics: Relationships among relatives Leper: A wild cat Malaria:...
09:27 Thu 09th Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 11:33 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Frog Pun

Would a grenade thrown into a kitchen in France result in Linoleum Blownapart.
11:01 Thu 09th Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 11:32 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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Francis Asis

The prostitute Club

A man says to his mate "I've joined the prosititute club" his mate says "Nooo, there's no such thing" He says "yes, I've got a membership card" His mate looks and says "you prat. That's a Parachute...
20:59 Wed 08th Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 22:39 Wed 08th Apr 2009
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marval

Trip To Europe

A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young sailor...
11:54 Wed 08th Apr 20093 answers, last by marval 19:47 Wed 08th Apr 2009
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McMouse

One day a man went to see the Mozart's tomb.

When he got there, the tomb was open and Mozart was sitting there tearing up pieces of paper. The men asked: "What are you doing with all of your great works of music?" Mozart repied, "I'm...
15:21 Wed 08th Apr 20091 answer, last by marval 19:45 Wed 08th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Time for a cuppa?

A man walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder. He walks up to the bar and asks for a pint for himself and a half pint for Tiny, his lizard. The barman looks a little taken aback but serves him...
15:24 Wed 08th Apr 20093 answers, last by heathfield 09:33 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Gift for Snow White

Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she...
15:39 Wed 08th Apr 20093 answers, last by Mr-Marvel 20:58 Wed 08th Apr 2009
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Sub Category

Can we have a subsection to Jokes called "Crap puns"? that would then give somewhere for chrisrob and McMouse to post their godawful rubbish and leave room for jokes that might be funny in the main...
16:51 Wed 08th Apr 20098 answers, last by no-knowledge 09:34 Thu 09th Apr 2009
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McMouse

A bloke is driving along when he notices a hitch-hiker.

The hitch-hiker has three eyes, no arms and only one leg. The driver stops the car and says "Eye, eye, eye! You look armless. Hop in"
11:55 Wed 08th Apr 20092 answers, last by marval 12:34 Wed 08th Apr 2009
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zzxxee

congrats to my mate

whos just been told she can adopt the little girl shes been fostering xx
15:16 Tue 07th Apr 200910 answers, last by zzxxee 12:19 Sun 12th Apr 2009
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patsyann48

Memorial Plaque

Is it normal/acceptable to have the deceased's maiden name included on the plaque ie: (nee Smith)
10:22 Wed 08th Apr 20095 answers, last by patsyann48 12:39 Sat 11th Apr 2009
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Mortartube

Captain Kirk.....

Has three ears. The left ear, the right ear and the final frontier.
11:52 Wed 08th Apr 20094 answers, last by janbee 12:02 Wed 08th Apr 2009
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McMouse

Caesar and Brutus are having a pint.

Before he goes to get another round in Brutus reminds Caesar not to touch his dry roasted peanuts. When he gets back to their table Brutus notices that Caesar is chewing. Brutus is enraged and stabs...
11:51 Wed 08th Apr 20092 answers, last by nightmare 12:48 Wed 08th Apr 2009
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chrisrob

Credit Crunch latest news:

In London, the Isle of Dogs Bank has collapsed. They've called in the retrievers.
10:04 Wed 08th Apr 20095 answers, last by McMouse 11:59 Wed 08th Apr 2009

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