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marval

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Chipchopper

Fish Supper

I was dining out at rather swish fish restaurant and when the waiter came to take the order, I decided to go for the turbot, it was lovely. About half way through the meal, the waiter returned and...
15:44 Thu 05th Sep 201917 answers, last by Mozz71 17:15 Thu 05th Sep 2019
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Purist

Chapel Of Rest

Has anyone here ever visited a close loved one in the chapel of rest before the funeral? How did you feel afterwards? I am in this situation now and part of me wants to say goodbye before cremation,...
18:57 Wed 04th Sep 201930 answers, last by Purist 05:40 Sun 08th Sep 2019
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Buenchico

Has Anybody Got . . .

. . . a VERY large bottle of tonic water? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-49583338 ;-)...
21:37 Wed 04th Sep 20198 answers, last by Patsy33 22:08 Wed 04th Sep 2019
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Bobbisox1

Wowser, What A Downpour

Had to pop out and do my Good Samaritan bit and the heavens just opened, got drenched through, pfft that what I got for being a Good Samaritan , :0)
16:20 Wed 04th Sep 201912 answers, last by marval 16:52 Wed 04th Sep 2019
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melv16

A Note...

...walks into a bar...
14:14 Wed 04th Sep 20197 answers, last by Patsy33 21:13 Wed 04th Sep 2019
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Gizmonster

Jeremy Corbyn And Labour .....

Jeremy Corbyn asked the Queen, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient organisation? Are there any tips you can give me?" "Well," said the Queen, "The most important thing is to surround...
08:02 Wed 04th Sep 20197 answers, last by piggynose 15:16 Wed 04th Sep 2019
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tamaris

The Capture

Anyone watch this BBC 1 at 9pm ? Wow I'm hooked.
21:01 Tue 03rd Sep 201956 answers, last by tamaris 06:37 Wed 18th Sep 2019
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exarmy448

Winning Story

There was a contest in a girl's college to write a short story which contains religion, sex and mystery. Winner's story: "Oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it."...
12:39 Tue 03rd Sep 20193 answers, last by Old_Geezer 17:22 Tue 03rd Sep 2019
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queenofmean

Not My Day

My mentality is in a downward spiral. Back on the happy pills. I decided to cheer myself up and did a little baking. The cake was great. The blondies...well I didn’t expect to have to put out a...
23:04 Mon 02nd Sep 201911 answers, last by marval 17:03 Tue 03rd Sep 2019
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Arksided

Happy 60Th Birthday Hopkirk All The Best To You My Friend.

OAP bus pass is in the post ;-)
13:38 Tue 03rd Sep 201936 answers, last by LadyCG 17:54 Thu 05th Sep 2019
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Chipchopper

Tartan Attire

I was so proud of my new tartan attire, as I walked through the park but sadly had to abandon it due to people who kept trying to have a picnic on me.
10:43 Fri 30th Aug 20191 answer, last by marval 22:29 Mon 02nd Sep 2019
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Chipchopper

The Difference

Q, Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup ?. A, Anyone can roast beef............
21:37 Mon 02nd Sep 20191 answer, last by marval 21:38 Mon 02nd Sep 2019
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teacake44

What A Crap First Day

Peaing down of rain when I left home, arriving at school like a wet beaver. My ponytail looked like a rats tail, my polished shoes, well what a waste of time that was, socks soaked, knickers soaked,...
18:33 Mon 02nd Sep 201923 answers, last by johnny.5 04:42 Tue 03rd Sep 2019
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Canary42

What A Monster

"I won't be told what to do by a three-year-old" he said, as he crushed him to death. One of today's wholly inadequate "parent"s. Should face Life Imprisonment IMHO....
16:13 Mon 02nd Sep 201915 answers, last by hereIam 15:36 Tue 03rd Sep 2019
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teacake44

I'm All Ready To Go.

I've got my new blazer, shoes a bit old as they've been passed down, but new to me , spent all weekend trying to shine them up a bit with some cherry blossom, buckle strap just hang on there, but I...
09:42 Mon 02nd Sep 201918 answers, last by Bazile 15:07 Mon 02nd Sep 2019
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Theland

Terrible Problem.

Two of my five sons never spoke for about a year, but made up in June. Now fell out again, so bitter and insulting. My wife and I have been dragged in to the argument. My Christian beliefs give me...
22:22 Sun 01st Sep 201919 answers, last by nailit 18:14 Mon 02nd Sep 2019
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Chipchopper

Coffee Shop

Starbucks have now introduced a range of laxative coffee's......Ready To Go!
19:15 Sun 01st Sep 20199 answers, last by Hopkirk 14:12 Sat 07th Sep 2019
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Patsy33

Ice Cream Factory

I left my job at the ice cream factory. Couldn't work on sundaes.
11:30 Sun 01st Sep 20198 answers, last by marval 17:15 Sun 01st Sep 2019
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marval

Idiocy In Court

Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?" Witness: "I only have one, you know." Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?" Witness: "By death." Lawyer: "And by...
17:27 Thu 29th Aug 20196 answers, last by bookbinder 16:09 Sun 01st Sep 2019
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Rockrose

Well I Did It!!

It was nerve wracking but yesterday I met up with a make up artist, photographer and marketing manager in Birmingham and did a photo shoot, filmed interview and podcast. I will send links when they...
13:28 Sun 01st Sep 201926 answers, last by choux 18:33 Mon 02nd Sep 2019

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