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marval

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Voltage
I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything... Trying to pack myself in a small suitcase! I can hardly contain myself....
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Berniecuddles2
I went for a curry the other day and got some terrible news. My naan had slipped into a korma. My bum was sore after a curry. The wife said "ringsting" I said 'why?, what will he know about it?" i Was...
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Patsy33
What do you call a Russian with Tourette's Syndrome? Yukanol Fukov.
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Patsy33
Just been let down by the people who work at the fancy dress shop after I tried to order a Shepherd’s outfit. Can’t get the staff....
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Patsy33
Apparently there's a new soap coming out, set in Bradford, it'll be called, 'Koran Nation Street'...
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Patsy33
I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you...
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Patsy33
My boss said to me today, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many trains have you derailed so far?” I said, “It’s hard to keep track…”...
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Patsy33
My dad suggested I register for a donor card. He’s a man after my own heart....
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Chipchopper
It was a busy night at the 'Pride of India' Indian restaurant, while customers waited patiently for their meals. Imagine the surprise when a waiter suddenly appeared and started cavorting around the...
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mallyh
has anyone used the colgate whitening pen ? what did you think of it xx
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Baldric
It's funny https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNycdfFEgBc...
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percy1946
My scrabble set was stolen recently. When I informed the police they said they would send someone to look for DNA. I said that's all very well but what about the other letters ???
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Patsy33
A director is screen testing Sylvestor Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger for a new film about classic composers. Not having figured out who to give which part to, he asks Sly who he would like to be....
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Patsy33
My Chinese neighbour said he has opened a crows shop. I said, "ah, you mean a clothes shop?" He said, "no, a crows shop - come in and have a rook"...:)...
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Tilly2
buy a pair of 10% elastane jeans. What about you? Assuming that you believe that you will be back....
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Chipchopper
The body of a partially decayed, elderly forestry worker was discovered in a barn, beneath a pile of logs yesterday. A police spokesman said he was a well seasoned woodsman....
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Shaglene
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. -------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children....
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Dazzy16
Out and about in the uk quiz
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Chipchopper
I was outside earlier today on the edge of the woods collecting cones to adorn my christmas tree. The highways department was not too impressed when they caught up with me....
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Patsy33
Vegan campaigners insist new bank notes should be made of fruit and vegetable pulp thus making sure everyone gets their fiver day.

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