Donate SIGN UP

McMouse

881 to 900 of 1489

First Previous 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 Next Last

Avatar Image
McMouse

Why are wrong numbers

never engaged?
10:18 Fri 09th Jul 20108 answers, last by mccfluff 10:26 Fri 09th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Have a good day!

Pillock in the papershop says this to every person he serves. This morning I told him I would settle for an adequate day. He seemed non plussed.
09:19 Fri 09th Jul 20109 answers, last by rowanwitch 10:08 Fri 09th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Reading obituary column in paper today

and struck by the coincidence that all the people had died in alphabetical order.
17:36 Thu 08th Jul 20102 answers, last by poodicat 17:59 Thu 08th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Received a e-mail from John Lewis

entitled "Clearance continues". Had a look in the on-line store and sure enough there were masses of clearance lines. A closer look showed they were mainly "special purchases". In...
13:58 Thu 08th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

If I was obscenely wealthy

and whilst out in the Roller suddenly felt suicidal and instructed James the chauffeur to drive off a cliff. What do you think the coroners verdict would be?
13:07 Thu 08th Jul 201019 answers, last by rowanwitch 14:24 Thu 08th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Signing up for an extreme sport or dangerous activity

When filling out the questionnaire, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put doctor/ambulance. I mean what the heck is my next-of-kin going to do?...
12:38 Thu 08th Jul 20105 answers, last by vulcan42 13:07 Thu 08th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Mrs McM told the builder

That's amazing, the extension is much bigger than I expected.
11:31 Thu 08th Jul 20105 answers, last by McMouse 11:42 Thu 08th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Education, Education, Education

Just bought milk in village cost £1.03. Gave assistant £5 with 10p to help with the change. She rang it up as £1.03 with £5 tendered and started to get £3.97 change. I...
11:23 Thu 08th Jul 201010 answers, last by rowanwitch 11:37 Thu 08th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Sorry,

my karma just ran over your dogma.
10:10 Thu 08th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Builders arrived early today

Tools out and working at 7.30 a.m.
09:32 Thu 08th Jul 20108 answers, last by rowanwitch 10:26 Thu 08th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

She was only the...........

...............Admiral's daughter, but her naval base was always full of seamen.
17:04 Wed 07th Jul 201016 answers, last by Steve.5 18:18 Wed 07th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Are steroids

Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs?
16:28 Wed 07th Jul 20102 answers, last by deggers316 16:48 Wed 07th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

The neighbour’s daughter

is having problems with her fruit trees. She’s asked me to help though I think she expects to lose her Cherry....
15:51 Wed 07th Jul 201015 answers, last by Steve.5 16:25 Wed 07th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

The builders have just refitted the garage doors.

Mrs McM is delighted........she thought they were very well hung.
14:18 Wed 07th Jul 201025 answers, last by rowanwitch 15:25 Wed 07th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

My neighbour collects for charity

Should I leave my contribution in her box or is it better to stay anonymous?
12:16 Wed 07th Jul 20105 answers, last by in a mo 12:23 Wed 07th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

what did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow-job.
15:15 Tue 06th Jul 20103 answers, last by squarebear 10:16 Wed 07th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Just offered my neighbour

another bunch of roses. She declined saying she still had a prick in both hands from yesterday.
14:37 Tue 06th Jul 201013 answers, last by supersuezy24 19:33 Tue 06th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Mental Health Act?

Before cutting down some unwanted conifers I called the local council and asked if they would be accepted at the recycling centre. They said yes, provided they had been sectioned.
14:01 Tue 06th Jul 201045 answers, last by McMouse 15:29 Tue 06th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Bring me your buns

My frankfurter is ready.
12:05 Tue 06th Jul 20103 answers, last by snags 12:12 Tue 06th Jul 2010
Avatar Image
McMouse

Is innuendo

a name for an Italian suppository?
11:08 Tue 06th Jul 20104 answers, last by piggynose 11:23 Tue 06th Jul 2010

881 to 900 of 1489

First Previous 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 Next Last