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McMouse

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McMouse

Cows

A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit,...
10:21 Fri 10th Jan 20143 answers, last by BlueToffee 13:45 Fri 10th Jan 2014
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McMouse

Congratulations Nhs

Had a pacemaker implanted in December and the aftercare has been superb. Been assessed for a personalised rehab program which starts next week. Whole process has given me a new lease of life.
10:19 Thu 09th Jan 201411 answers, last by Steve.5 15:00 Thu 09th Jan 2014
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McMouse

Text Message

Paddy texts his wife... “Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes, read this message again.”...
15:50 Tue 07th Jan 20144 answers, last by baza 22:48 Tue 07th Jan 2014
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McMouse

Vaseline

Joe wanted to buy a motorbike. He doesn't have much luck until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10 years old....
12:33 Tue 07th Jan 20146 answers, last by Slapshot 02:59 Wed 08th Jan 2014
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McMouse

My Dog ! !

IN RESPONSE TO THE E-MAILS CONCERNING MY DOG... Please be advised I am sick and tired of receiving questions about my dog who mauled six illegal immigrants wearing Labour tee shirts, four thieving...
12:31 Mon 06th Jan 20144 answers, last by Grandma_Yiddo 18:22 Mon 06th Jan 2014
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McMouse

Cold Winter Ahead

It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in North Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never...
12:18 Fri 03rd Jan 20143 answers, last by Hymie 22:24 Sat 04th Jan 2014
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McMouse

At The Library

A guy is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asks a girl, "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl replies with a loud voice, "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"...
09:51 Fri 13th Dec 20133 answers, last by marval 12:22 Fri 13th Dec 2013
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McMouse

Home, Home On The Range

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an...
09:54 Thu 12th Dec 201312 answers, last by Zacs-Master 12:53 Sat 21st Dec 2013
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McMouse

Don't Mess With Women

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists: two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of...
10:05 Tue 26th Nov 201311 answers, last by anneasquith 14:54 Tue 26th Nov 2013
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McMouse

Blood Is Thicker Than Petrol

Son and heir visited from USA andy in effort to save him car rental costs put him on insurance so he could drive my car. Despite telling him not to put in any fuel he managed to top up the diesel tank...
10:54 Mon 25th Nov 201312 answers, last by murraymints 19:09 Mon 25th Nov 2013
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McMouse

Latest Score. Mcmouse 1, Grim Reaper 0.

Blue light taxi to A&E 10 days ago and now back home. Having a pacemaker fitted on Saturday which should keep the GR at bay for a while....
13:59 Mon 11th Nov 201311 answers, last by Psybbo 17:25 Mon 11th Nov 2013
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McMouse

Canary Isles

Planning to go toCanary Isles for a week in November. Never been there before, any suggestions? Must have good restaurants, not bothered about beach....
15:40 Tue 29th Oct 20134 answers, last by McMouse 11:47 Wed 30th Oct 2013
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McMouse

In The Paper, Must Be True

Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Chester when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside. The biker...
14:52 Tue 22nd Oct 20133 answers, last by penelope2 14:55 Tue 22nd Oct 2013
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McMouse

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss...
13:37 Tue 22nd Oct 20137 answers, last by frozengal 10:59 Wed 23rd Oct 2013
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McMouse

Brighton & Seafood

Going to Brighton next week, any recommendations for good crab and lobster? Tia.
13:26 Mon 14th Oct 20133 answers, last by McMouse 12:47 Wed 16th Oct 2013
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McMouse

Food Fads

Had a pleasant pub lunch yesterday and overheard a mother say to her child "don't eat those beans (butter beans) you won't like them". No wonder kids grow up eating junk food....
13:05 Mon 14th Oct 201324 answers, last by society 23:07 Mon 14th Oct 2013
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McMouse

The Aussie Drover

Drover: "Give me three packets of condoms, please." Cashier: "Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?" Drover: "Nah mate.... She ain't that ugly."...
10:01 Mon 14th Oct 20137 answers, last by tamborine 15:17 Mon 14th Oct 2013
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McMouse

Come In Bed 5

Was in local hospital as a day case for a simple procedure. Nurse said it wasn't worth writing up the label on the wall behind my bed, so for my short visit I was known as bed 5. It didn't bother me...
09:13 Tue 24th Sep 201316 answers, last by DaisyNonna 17:55 Tue 24th Sep 2013
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McMouse

Wife Vs. Husband:

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.. As they passed a barnyard...
09:03 Fri 06th Sep 20131 answer, last by marval 13:14 Fri 06th Sep 2013

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