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McMouse

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McMouse
I was visiting my nephew last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," he said. We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this: That...
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McMouse
Cardiac team have told me to limit daily fluid intake to max 2 litres in order to get severe oedema under control. I was horrified when I realised my actual daily consumption of breakfast orange...
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McMouse
I'm due to lose my email user name in a couple of weeks and the ISP will allocate another one. Will this affect my Answerbank and Gravatar accounts? What do I need to do?
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McMouse
if you keep your views to yourself? Although I don't discriminate against anyone I do shudder at the thought of being confined in an aircraft seat along side certain folk.
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McMouse
Woman: Do you drink beer? Man: Yes Woman: How many beers a day? Man: Usually about 3 Woman: How much do you pay per beer? Man: £4 which includes a tip (This is where it gets scary !) Woman: And how...
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McMouse
Have a monthly blood test as GP is monitoring low mineral levels. Called me on Friday saying latest test showed severe magnesium depletion and he was prescribing high dose mag supplement. Local...
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McMouse
be available on the NHS for women with hairy armpits?...
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McMouse
A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?" The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun." "And what is this type of...
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McMouse
A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St Luke's hospital, saying that after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex. A hospital...
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McMouse
I have been prescribed a 12.5 mg dose but the tablet is only packaged in 25 mg form. Pharmacist advised me to cut each one in half. It has always been my understanding that tablets should not be split...
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McMouse
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that afternoon. The son says, "I did some...
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McMouse
Having recently changed to Lemon Tea from English Breakfast with milk, I've found reading my tea leaves to be a rather more agreeable experience. It seems I'm coming into money!
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McMouse
which cheese would you recommend?
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McMouse
You think you have lived to be 80 plus and know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to hell! An old Marine Pilot sat down at a Starbucks, still wearing his old USMC flight jacket...
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McMouse
Had a hospital outpatients appointment yesterday and while in the waiting room noticed a number of nurses and admin staff filling plastic bottles from the chilled water dispenser. Seemed pretty...
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McMouse
Got a call from chest clinic this morning cancelling by appointment for later today. They explained that results from last week's MRI scan confirmed I didn't have lung cancer and therefore didn't been...
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McMouse
Predict tomorrow will be a Tuesday and the Pope will admit to being a Catholic. What do your tea leaves tell you?
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McMouse
I recently removed the tip of my thumb whilst being careless with a sharp knife. Being on blood thinning medication I couldn't staunch the flow so nipped down to GP surgery to get it dressed. Practice...
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McMouse
Mrs McM mistakenly put a pantie liner in upside down - adhesive side up.................yelp.
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McMouse
Pregnant woman goes into labour. Is this another first for UK?

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