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Patsy33

1541 to 1560 of 1972

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Patsy33

Ice Rink.

My friend has opened up an ice rink charging just 10p a go, what a cheap skate....
16:47 Fri 21st Oct 20166 answers, last by Patsy33 20:55 Fri 21st Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Fancy Dress

There is an 80s fancy dress party that my wife doesn’t want me to dress as a pop star for, but I’m adamant…...
13:05 Thu 20th Oct 20164 answers, last by Patsy33 17:30 Thu 20th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Horseplay.

Did you hear about the man who was arrested for having sex with a horse? In his defence he claimed it was a stable relationship....
21:55 Tue 18th Oct 201613 answers, last by Patsy33 18:16 Wed 19th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Home Thoughts Fro Abroad. Clifford T Ward

https://youtu.be/akKVtGUsbbY Just wanted to share such a lovely song....
14:18 Tue 18th Oct 201622 answers, last by Tilly2 20:29 Tue 18th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Con- Artist

I performed at a prison today. It was a captive audience!
12:15 Tue 18th Oct 20169 answers, last by 1ozzy 21:06 Tue 18th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Bartender

:Q. What did the bartender say after Charles Dickens ordered a martini? A: "Olive or twist?"...
19:38 Sat 15th Oct 20162 answers, last by tonyav 19:53 Sat 15th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Can Anyone Get This One? (One Of Mine Just For Fun)

Object L maybe? Remains happy until this legal procedure. (7.5)
17:17 Thu 13th Oct 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 19:58 Thu 13th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Crossword Compiler.

Did you hear about the crossword compiler who reached his hundredth birthday? The Queen sent him an anagram....
11:28 Thu 13th Oct 20164 answers, last by Patsy33 12:23 Thu 13th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

A Rumour.

When asked about rumors that he owned a bakery, Shakespeare replied, 'It's much a-dough about muffin.'
20:12 Wed 12th Oct 20166 answers, last by Chipchopper 09:01 Thu 13th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Aggressive.

Coffee makes people really aggresive, last nite I had 11 pints down the pub. While my wife had 2 coffees at home, u should have heard the shouting when I got home!!..:)
19:55 Tue 11th Oct 20165 answers, last by Hopkirk 21:50 Wed 12th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

The Naked Truth..

The Swede's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. 'Good God, woman. Why aren't you wearing any...
10:50 Mon 10th Oct 20162 answers, last by Patsy33 14:35 Tue 11th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Cryptics

1.Two from Amsterdam? That doesn't make sense.(6.5) 2.Blue tube. Shh...(4.4) 3. Stone a goat for dance music. (10) 4.On hand in Kent might prove toothless. Such a blow! (7.8) 5.Object L maybe? Remains...
17:20 Sun 09th Oct 20164 answers, last by Toorak 17:24 Sun 09th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

She Took It All!

My wife has just left me, taking my satellite dish and Bob Marley collection: No woman, no Sky.
13:56 Fri 07th Oct 20164 answers, last by Tilly2 17:45 Fri 07th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Unique Date.

Not sure if anyone else has mentioned it, but today's date is 6102016. Read the same either way. Just thought I'd put it out there......
15:24 Thu 06th Oct 201614 answers, last by Tilly2 19:55 Thu 06th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

What An Affair....

My married friend is feeling stressed because of all the affairs he is having. I said he can't carry on like this........
12:20 Thu 06th Oct 201610 answers, last by Patsy33 19:11 Thu 06th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

'armless Joke.

I saw my mate Bill this morning, he's only got one arm bless him. I shouted - "Where you off to, Bill?" He said, "I'm off to change a light bulb." Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then...
21:03 Wed 05th Oct 20166 answers, last by Patsy33 11:54 Thu 06th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Oh Bells!

A class of children from a school for the blind, are by the sea side playing with a football with a bell on it, so they can hear where it is. The teacher pops off for a quiet pint. Shortly someone...
18:13 Wed 05th Oct 20166 answers, last by zebo 23:20 Wed 05th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

How To Be Found!

An elderly couple was flying to Hawaii for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am...
18:00 Wed 05th Oct 20162 answers, last by zebo 23:22 Wed 05th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

Smiling.

3 bodies turn up at the mortuary all with smiles on their faces. The cop asks the coroner, "why are they all smiling?" The Coroner says, "1st guy died of heart attack making love to his wife, hence...
11:59 Tue 04th Oct 20166 answers, last by Chipchopper 16:39 Wed 05th Oct 2016
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Patsy33

New Job.

Last week I started my new job with the Samaritan's I tried to phone in sick today but the feckers talked me of it:).
22:10 Sun 02nd Oct 20162 answers, last by andypipwilly 14:53 Mon 03rd Oct 2016

1541 to 1560 of 1972

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