The Teacher had asked the class to write an essay about an unusual event that happened during the past week. Little Johnny got up to read his. It began, "My daddy fell in well last week." "Good Lord!"...
The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men. She obeyed the order but It wasn't until...
An elderly couple, Minnie and Max, sit down to their Christmas dinner. Before eating, his wife speaks up. “Can I ask you a question, Max?” “Sure Minnie,” Max says, waiting to dig into his meal. “Has...
Tonight's quiz starts at 7pm and only takes about 30 minutes. All easy questions. Nothing to pay and nothing to download. Just follow the link below to join in the fun.
https://stin.to/f0blx#...
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the vehicle licencing office, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her...
Camilla had come to see Dr. Hardy. When the shrink began using sexual terms, she interrupted, "Wait, what is a phallic symbol?" "A phallic symbol," explained Hardy, "represents the phallus." "What's a...
"My uncle in Dave tried to make a new kind of car. He took the engine from a Ford, the transmission from an Citroen, the tyres from a Vauxhall, and the exhaust system from a BMW." "Really? What did he...
There was a lady who took a taxi home, and when the taxi driver approached her house she told him to stop, saying, "Okay, here, here is good." Then she asked the driver, "How much is it?" And the...
A salesman telephone a household, and a four-year-old answered. Salesman: "May I speak to your mother?" Child: "She's not here." Salesman: "Well, is anyone else there?" Child: "My sister." Salesman:...
A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbour was called as a witness. The defence attorney asked, "Did you ever get any cocaine or other drugs from the defendant?" "No sir," answered the man....
The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down. "Geez, are you lucky." The cyclist says. "What do you mean by lucky?" The pedestrian angrily asks. "I got hurt...
Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery.
Daffy turns to Elmer and says ’Is this Whiskey'?
Elmer says,
‘Yes but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank'!!...
This guy was pulled over for running a stop sign. When the cop checked the man's driver's licence, he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not now. I'm going to have to give you a...
A small boy is woken by a huge crash of thunder. He runs into his parents' room, where his father comforts him. "Don't be afraid of the thunder," he says. "It's just a noise that God makes when...
Courtesy of Pam Ayers: The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey". Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An...
In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever...
It was my wife's birthday and she rang me to see what time I would be home. "Can't talk," I said, "I'm driving." "Where are you?" she asked. She wasn't happy when I said : "I'm on the 7th tee."...
A woman went to see her new gynaecologist for a check up. He got her ready in stirrups with her legs wide open and began his inspection. "Oh my God!!" the man said: "In all my years I have never seen...
The Lord of the manor returned from his grouse hunt quite a bit earlier than expected. He entered the master bedroom to change, and found her Ladyship making passionate love to Sir Reginald Carpley....
Policeman: "Did you get the license number of the car that knocked you down?" Pedestrian: "No, but I know who it was. My mother-in-law!" Policeman: "How can you be so certain?" Pedestrian: "I'd...