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Slapshot

Man Laws

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina...
03:39 Fri 20th Dec 20132 answers, last by starone 16:23 Fri 20th Dec 2013
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marval

This Might Make You Wince

An Englishman shot himself in the groin recently. He had been drinking fifteen pints of beer and had stuffed a sawed-off shotgun down his pants. Apparently, the man was under the impression the gun...
21:51 Thu 19th Dec 20136 answers, last by marval 22:04 Fri 20th Dec 2013
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SlackAlice

Nurses Don't Laugh

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh... "Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse. "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient." "Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to...
15:20 Thu 19th Dec 20136 answers, last by anneasquith 23:37 Thu 19th Dec 2013
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charlieuniform3

Well Guys

I am off for good - until last night I had not realised just how much of a clique had formed on AB. Its sad really there are lots of in jokes, personal nicknames and rules for one and not for another....
14:03 Mon 16th Dec 2013133 answers, last by Chewn 16:34 Mon 16th Dec 2013
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anotheoldgit

Do You Still Tip?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/money/bills/article-2524513/End-Christmas-tipping-More-half-dont-postmen-binmen-milkmen.html How many of you still give Christmas tips, if you do, who do you give them to...
11:42 Mon 16th Dec 201351 answers, last by boxtops 19:31 Mon 16th Dec 2013
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anotheoldgit

Nelson Mandela's Funeral.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2524036/Soldiers-seats-Nelson-Mandelas-funeral-service-overruns-hours.html Nelson Mandela has finally been laid to rest, but what do others think of the...
11:08 Sun 15th Dec 201390 answers, last by jomifl 14:10 Fri 20th Dec 2013
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Tilly2

Ideas For Christmas Presents For Our Ab Colleagues?

What would you buy for whom.....and why? I'd buy Gness a bicycle puncture repair kit because it's bound to come in handy one day. I'd buy minty one of those twirly garden soil breaker upper whatsits,...
15:49 Sun 15th Dec 2013299 answers, last by boxtops 16:06 Tue 17th Dec 2013
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marval

Hole

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the...
22:01 Sun 15th Dec 20133 answers, last by Chipchopper 21:54 Mon 16th Dec 2013
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gness

Christmas Greetings From

MrsO who went on holiday courtesy of the NHS and some blue flashing lights a week ago......and is still there, quite poorly but..... She hopes to make it home by Christmas and sends you all her very...
19:11 Sun 15th Dec 201364 answers, last by gness 11:58 Mon 16th Dec 2013
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starone

Yet Another Blonde Joke

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left...
12:09 Sun 15th Dec 20133 answers, last by marval 12:15 Sun 15th Dec 2013
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marval

Kids

A five-year-old boy couldn't wait to tell his grand-father about the film he had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him...
11:08 Sun 15th Dec 20133 answers, last by rosyposy 22:38 Sun 15th Dec 2013
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Jeza

I Too Am Feeling Sorry For My Self.

I was really hoping Mic would be home by Christmas. Not a chance I was told today. Ain't life a bitch. I shouldn't feel sorry for me. Mic is so p1ssed off and he's getting really depressed about it....
22:32 Thu 12th Dec 201323 answers, last by nungate 00:04 Fri 13th Dec 2013
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jamesnan

Warm Clothing

I feel the cold quite badly and always have cold hands and feet. I have noticed many times that many elderly people just do not wear appropriate clothing for the cold weather, and don't understand why...
17:09 Thu 12th Dec 201364 answers, last by DaisyNonna 22:42 Thu 12th Dec 2013
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granny grump

Electronic Prescriptions

I noticed today when I collected my prescription that they will now be sent electronically to our chemist - this is the first I have heard about. Whose benefit is it for and will it make any...
22:10 Thu 12th Dec 201315 answers, last by granny grump 19:37 Sun 15th Dec 2013
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Tilly2

Some People On Here Have

very complicated usernames. What's wrong with Ben or Jack or Elsie? You don't have to be 6s79besty76.
21:25 Thu 12th Dec 201355 answers, last by tonyav 23:01 Thu 12th Dec 2013
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Wendywoo52

My Husband Is Driving Me Nuts

My oh has a few health issues. He has diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, copd, glaucoma and is slightly deaf. He is driving me nuts!!! He gets up in a morning and sits in his chair all...
22:46 Wed 11th Dec 201344 answers, last by ladybirder 22:43 Tue 24th Dec 2013
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marval

£

Are you interested in making ££££ fast? Here's an incredibly simple way to do it and there is nothing to buy, no investment to make, no money to lose! Try it now! Follow this simple procedure: 1....
22:12 Wed 11th Dec 20135 answers, last by frozengal 11:11 Thu 12th Dec 2013
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marval

Time For A Laugh

Visiting his parents' retirement village, a middle-aged man, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in...
15:13 Fri 29th Nov 20132 answers, last by starone 10:48 Mon 02nd Dec 2013
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marval

Flasher

At one ad agency, a man in production was fired when they discovered he was the Xerox Flasher. Every morning, he xeroxed his privates, made copies and left them in the secretary's desks. The boss said...
13:58 Tue 26th Nov 20131 answer, last by starone 19:10 Tue 26th Nov 2013
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AB Editor

Quizzes And Puzzles Round Up November 2013

Dear All, Here is the November edition of Quizzes and Puzzles round up. If you have a new charity quiz feel free to add it to the thread and we will include it in later editions. Please remember to...
11:35 Fri 01st Nov 201336 answers, last by Sharononline 08:57 Thu 09th Jan 2014

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