An old Jewish man on his deathbed whispered, "Sarah, Sarah, where are you, my dear wife?" "Right here at your side, my love." "And my son, Morris ...where is he?" "Right here at your side, papa." "And...
A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave the pub and fell flat on his face. "Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside. He...
Did you hear about the man who opened a yacht showroom? Sails went through the roof. My driving instructor told me, never brake if there's an animal in the road. You should have seen the look on the...
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon,...
please can you help with the following: 17. the only chess piece which can be moved at the beginning of a game before any pawn move has been made? 30. If 1 = 48, 3 = 13, and 5 = 31 what does 6 equal...
Call summary:- Boy to boy! 00:00:59 Boy to mom! 00:00:50 Boy to dad! 00:00:30 Boy to girl! 01:23:59 Girl to girl! 05:29:59 Wife to Husband: . . . . . . Not Responding…=)) =D...
Everyone Needs A Loving Wife Like This One! A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.' The driver says, 'But officer, I had it on cruise...
Woman goes to the doctor feeling a bit under the weather. Strip down to your undies says the Doctor. The woman duly does so, a lettuce leaf was protruding from the top of her knickers. Doctor asks 'Is...
An eminent doctor goes for a meal in a gourmet restaurant. As he is inspecting the menu, the head waiter appears and tries to be particularly helpful. "You might be interested to know that I have...
I’d been suffering from really bad pains in my bum and my mate recommended I shove tea leaves up my @rse cos her Gran said it works., & do it three times a day, as I found creams were useless. I did...
This is a letter sent by a commuter to London Midland Railway Company, regarding their services. Dear Sir, I have been travelling on your trains daily for the last twenty-two years, and the service on...
In the morning Tom calls to his boss: - Good morning, boss, unfortunately I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my both hands and legs hurt, so I'm not...
A 60-year-old man is getting his annual physical: - Doc, do you think I'll live another 40 years so I can reach 100? - That depends," says the doctor. Do you smoke? - No - Do you drink? - No - Do you...
A very proper man started going into the neighborhood Chemists every week and buying 2 dozen boxes of condoms. Week after week he would come in with the same order. One day the Chemist assistant felt...
Came home to find a spider sitting on the wall by living room window. Don't mind spiders so left it alone. Took a while for me before I thought that it wasn't a spider I'd seen before. Checked it out...
Just watching a documentary on 4seven (Freesat) about a twelve years old boy and his friend who have been given life sentences for shooting one of the boy's stepfather.Apparently in Indiana children...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2317963/Barbaric-No-electronic-tags-godsend-Alzheimers-sufferers--carers.html Is the fitting of electronic tags on dementia sufferers a good idea or is it...
Ancient Chinese Proverbs...................................... ...man who run in front of car get tired. ..man who run behind car get exhausted. ..war doesn't determine who is right, war determines...
Crown court, a reasonably high profile case that has dragged on because the main defendant is a "self made businessman" (read career criminal). There is also an alleged assault by a member of the...
