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velvet lady

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velvet lady

does anyone really care if.......

do u really care who sings in wot ad? are we that sad to care who sings in the fiesta advert? or which man played the part in the baked beans advert? do you need some extra mental health help? or get...
17:30 Sat 25th Oct 20089 answers, last by Disco Fever 07:26 Mon 27th Oct 2008
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velvet lady

Little Red Riding Hood's Observations

One day, Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the forest when she sees a wolf sitting under a tree with its ears erect and his mouth stretched in a big toothy grin. She says to the wolf, "My,...
18:58 Mon 12th May 20081 answer, last by puddicat 20:30 Mon 12th May 2008
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velvet lady

Blonde in a boat

There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field, rowing a boat with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car...
18:57 Mon 12th May 2008
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velvet lady

When was the last episode of Hotel Babylon?

Help! think we missed the last one, any ideas? thanks, velvet lady :)
16:41 Sun 20th Apr 20082 answers, last by beejaybee 10:36 Mon 21st Apr 2008
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velvet lady

three old ladies (this is a funny one, trust me)

One day three old ladies were sitting on a park bench and this guy jumped out of the bushes and flashed them. The first lady had a stroke, the second one had a stroke, and the third one's arm was too...
14:42 Mon 14th Apr 20084 answers, last by Wop/tpo 11:22 Wed 16th Apr 2008
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velvet lady

Huge Pause

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I want a bourbon and............... coke" The bartender asks "what's with the huge pause?" The bear says, "I've had them all my life."
14:41 Mon 14th Apr 20083 answers, last by JonnyBoy12 20:56 Mon 14th Apr 2008
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velvet lady

Morgue Smorgasbord

There were these two guys working late in a morgue, when one guy said, "Hey man there is a woman in there with a shrimp in her vagina!" The other asked, "What is a shrimp doing a dead woman's vagina?...
14:39 Mon 14th Apr 20082 answers, last by Wop/tpo 11:24 Wed 16th Apr 2008
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velvet lady

green and yellow

What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonorrhea.
14:38 Mon 14th Apr 2008
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velvet lady

holiday feast

A woman walks into a tattoo parlor. She gets into the chair and tells the tattoo artist, "I want two tattoos, one on each of my inner thighs. I want a turkey on one thigh and a Christmas tree on the...
14:36 Mon 14th Apr 2008
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velvet lady

d.a.m

What does D.A.M stand for? Mothers Against Dyslexia.
14:36 Mon 14th Apr 2008
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velvet lady

Gay Midget

Did you hear about the gay midget? He just came out of the cupboard!
14:35 Mon 14th Apr 2008
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velvet lady

rooster

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've...
14:34 Mon 14th Apr 20084 answers, last by poinsy 14:15 Sun 11th May 2008
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velvet lady

A lady and her baby...

A lady and her baby get on a bus. The bus driver looks at the lady, and then her baby, and then screams, "AHHHH! That's the ugliest child I've ever seen in my life!" The lady then, totally disgusted,...
14:32 Mon 14th Apr 2008
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velvet lady

santa

Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Because he only comes once a year!
20:07 Sun 06th Apr 20082 answers, last by EDDIE51 20:28 Mon 14th Apr 2008
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velvet lady

car crash

A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars...
11:31 Fri 28th Mar 20086 answers, last by johny5 03:27 Sun 04th May 2008
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velvet lady

Red, White & Blue Christmas

Q: What's red, white and blue and makes the entire community happy? A: Smurfette deep-throating a candy cane
11:17 Fri 28th Mar 2008
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velvet lady

alien abduction

Harry, Bill and Steve are sitting at the corner bar enjoying themselves, when Ted walks in looking distressed. "Ted, you look awful. What's wrong?" Harry asks. Ted says, "Last night I got really...
11:13 Fri 28th Mar 2008
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velvet lady

eye examination

A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."...
11:12 Fri 28th Mar 20083 answers, last by velvet lady 21:06 Sun 30th Mar 2008
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velvet lady

wots up doc?

A guy says, "Doctor, Doctor! Help me, I keep thinking I'm getting smaller!" Doctor replies, "Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
11:12 Fri 28th Mar 2008
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velvet lady

docs appointment

One night, as a couple lies down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says, "I'm sorry, honey, I've got a gynecologist...
11:11 Fri 28th Mar 20084 answers, last by velvet lady 11:25 Fri 28th Mar 2008

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