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Voltage

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Voltage

Sunbathing!

i was Sunbathing on the beach, the wife came up to me asked what I thought of her flip flops? Bloody horrible I said "Put your bikini top back on"...
19:52 Thu 12th Apr 20185 answers, last by Patsy33 20:12 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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Tilly2

Seeing A Gp.

I rang the surgery today to ask for the next available appointment. Much humming and arring from the receptionist who finally came up with May 3rd. What? I could be dead by then......
19:07 Thu 12th Apr 201838 answers, last by Canis_Lupus 18:36 Tue 17th Apr 2018
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webbo3

More Free Stuff.

https://news.sky.com/story/labour-promise-to-fund-free-bus-travel-for-under-25s-11326924 Another bribe to the youngsters, will they believe again....
19:04 Thu 12th Apr 201826 answers, last by gulliver1 10:48 Sat 14th Apr 2018
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Barmaid

Hats At Funerals

Does anyone wear them anymore? I normally wear a hat to a wedding, but never have done for a funeral. But then I'm lucky enough never to have been a prominent part of a funeral before. I've got a...
18:38 Thu 12th Apr 201833 answers, last by rowanwitch 13:36 Fri 13th Apr 2018
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Donaldinho

Unison Overlaps Crossword

1d Party left Europe -?e?e 8a Four agents request more rum - S?r?n?e? 14a Vivid green ties nauseate - ?n?e?s?...
18:25 Thu 12th Apr 20187 answers, last by fiction-factory 18:45 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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Patsy33

My Partner

My partner says he’s leaving me because he thinks I’m too obsessed with astronomy. What planet is he on!.....
17:02 Thu 12th Apr 201825 answers, last by Patsy33 18:43 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Hypnotist Show!

Me and the wife went to a hypnotist show last night . He got 7 people up on stage as he hypnotised them he dropped the microphone on his big toe he screamed out " f**ck me" well after seeing what...
15:46 Thu 12th Apr 20184 answers, last by jno 19:01 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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marval

I Keep

I keep having reocurring nightmares where I am surrounded by loads of nude pregnant women. Could I be going through a midwife crisis?...
22:02 Wed 11th Apr 201811 answers, last by Spicerack 15:42 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Cartoonist!

A cartoonist was found dead in an apartment. Police are not sure how he died details are sketchy.
07:33 Thu 12th Apr 201815 answers, last by marval 22:45 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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Voltage

Coffee Shop!

I Just quit my job at the local coffee shop! ....because day after day it was the same old grind.
13:20 Thu 12th Apr 201820 answers, last by Hopkirk 12:12 Fri 13th Apr 2018
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-Talbot-

Who On Ab Would You Like To Have A Meal With

And what would you have?...
00:18 Thu 12th Apr 201884 answers, last by hereIam 16:44 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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Chipchopper

Egg Head

A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head. - Barman; "why have you got a fried egg on your head ?" - Man: because, if it was a boiled egg, it would have rolled off."...
09:37 Thu 12th Apr 201823 answers, last by Chipchopper 18:49 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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weecalf

Celebration Nah

It just an opinion but should the person who took the Real Madrid penalty against Juventues last night have celebrated the way he did ? last seconds a questionable decision ,heartbreak for a team...
09:12 Thu 12th Apr 201813 answers, last by weecalf 12:31 Fri 13th Apr 2018
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gness

This Morning's Hotel Breakfast....

....was interesting. Four tables taken when I arrived and one of the three gentlemen at the table by the window wa.......hang on....phone ringing....back in a jiff......
07:48 Thu 12th Apr 201813 answers, last by jakep 01:25 Sat 14th Apr 2018
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waterboatman

Good Morning Early Birds!

Thursday. Misty out there again. I got the eggs yesterday, hen's, duck's and the geese are laying again, so I got four of those too. I'm going to pickle some of the hens eggs, I called in at the...
04:45 Thu 12th Apr 201896 answers, last by murraymints 08:28 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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Stephen_G

If I Get Banned

[I]then it's worth it. It's funny but someone might find it offensive. I love you all[I]! Three Nurses are walking past the Morgue when they notice a fresh body still sporting an erection. One Nurse...
22:22 Wed 11th Apr 201814 answers, last by Shaglene 16:00 Thu 12th Apr 2018
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Tilly2

Not Many Posts In Cb Today

GMEB Birthday Quiz. Where are all the chatterboxes?...
19:48 Wed 11th Apr 201884 answers, last by Ellipsis 22:32 Wed 11th Apr 2018
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Voltage

A Drunk Appears In Front Of A Judge!

A drunk appears in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk, a bit surprised, says, "Okay, i'll have a large gin n tonic then!"...
17:30 Wed 11th Apr 201810 answers, last by Voltage 20:29 Wed 11th Apr 2018
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Patsy33

Lazy

Someone called me lazy today. I almost answered back!...
17:23 Wed 11th Apr 20185 answers, last by marval 18:54 Wed 11th Apr 2018
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marval

Ouch

Two prison inmates are in a cell together. One says to the other ”I have got two tickets to the wardens ball, do you want one?” ”No thanks, I can't dance” the other inmate replied. The first...
17:03 Wed 11th Apr 20184 answers, last by Patsy33 17:08 Wed 11th Apr 2018

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