A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years." "Yeah," she...
A blind man was walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day. They came to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, led the blind man...
A bus full of nuns crashed, and all the nuns have, unfortunately, died. They found themselves standing in a line before the Pearly Gates and St. Peter's desk. "Sister Mary, confess your sins" says...
A man had been chugging down whiskey all night when the bartender called out, "Okay, people the bar's closing." So the man slurped down the last drink, stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He...
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful...
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose and then shuddered quite violently for 10 or 15...
One afternoon a man and his wife had just finished possibly the worst round of golf they'd ever played. In order to remedy their golf woes, they decided to schedule some lessons with the resident pro....
An elderly couple has dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives leave the table and go into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen are talking and one says, "Last night we went out...
Wee jimmy's got no arms and no legs, and one day he's waiting for the bus. Sure enough, bus eventually pulls up and when the doors open he sees his mate Tam driving. "a'right Tam, how ye doin?" "Aye...
A Polar Bear goes into a bar and says, "Can I have a Gin and ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... tonic please?" The barman serves him and says, "Why the large pause?" Polar Bear...
I don't care how pc you are, if you don't find this funny you're not human. The police officer at the scene is quoted in today's Irish Independent as saying "he spilled his drink, but other than that...
I'm truly happily married. Love my wife to bits - she's a beautiful, smart, sexy woman, and she loves me too. I'd do anything for her. Also, life is great, and happily we have a lovely home and no...
Can we have a poll please on the most irritating soap character? Surely I can't be the only one who hates the sight of Chelsea off Eastenders? For me, the worst character in years.
I'll miss this evening's Dr Who, and won't get home to try tape it. Is it repeated on any channel at all? Similarly (but sadder) the first episode of tonight's Any Dream Will Do
A friend of mine uses a wireless network in his house. I've recently given him an older (but perfect nick) pc, and he set up the network for his daughter to use. He's using a Belkin usb connection....
A 75 year old man went to his doctor to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75 year old man...
A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheely-bins and emptying them into his dustcart lorry. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes...
