iluvmargie - I know that you often advise that you don't read my posts, but I hope you make an exception for this one -
My heart goes out to you at this most awful time, and I offer every sympathy for your tragic loss.
When we embark on a relationship with any pet, we undertake the knowledge that there is going to be pain at the end of it, because they will leave us before we leave them.
That said, we expect our beloved companions to pass after a long and happy life, going to sleep peacefully and leaving us with long memories of a wonderful life lived with us.
Because of the horrible vagaries of fate, that has been denied to you, and to your boy, and he has been taken far too soon.
When the dreadful pain that engulfs you now starts eventually to recede a little, you will remember all the good times with him, and you will know that he loved you, and you were with him during his last moments, and hopefully that will comfort you.
His loss will leave a massive void in your life, but I hope that, again with the passage of time, his memory will not be how cruelly and suddenly he left you, but all the wonderful times he shared with you.
If he could talk, that is what he would say to you, and you have to remember that it is true, and use that thought to hang on to during the dark times when his loss is still so raw and painful.
I hope you will come on and let us all know how you are coping - you have a lot of friends on here to support you during this difficult time, and we all send our love and best wishes to you.
Take good care.
A x.