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Elderly Father In Hospital.
88 Answers
My 92 year old Dad has been in hospital for 2 weeks. Unfortunately, he’s completely lost the plot, hasn’t got a clue about anything, and now talks utter drivel. (Yesterday, he’d been to The Isle of Wight the night before, and my sister has just had a baby).
None of the staff are talking to me. (I’m his only visitor). Every time I go, I ask if someone could find the time to have a proper conversation with me at some point, but so far the only people I’ve spoken to are a doctor I’ve managed to pin down for a couple of minutes, and he just asked me questions which he could have found the answers to if he’d bothered to read Dad’s notes, and a nurse yesterday who said they are still trying to find the cause of his ‘confusion’ and waiting to see if he has a UTI and are giving antibiotics.
I said that if antibiotics were going to work, surely there would have been some improvement by now.
No answer!
He has been on 3 different wards since being admitted, and was going to have a Lumbar Puncture, but this was cancelled.
My question is: How do I get someone to talk to me? I don’t expect staff to drop everything just because I’m there, but it just seems like they don’t know what to with him/about him, and some decisions need to be made.
Thanks.
None of the staff are talking to me. (I’m his only visitor). Every time I go, I ask if someone could find the time to have a proper conversation with me at some point, but so far the only people I’ve spoken to are a doctor I’ve managed to pin down for a couple of minutes, and he just asked me questions which he could have found the answers to if he’d bothered to read Dad’s notes, and a nurse yesterday who said they are still trying to find the cause of his ‘confusion’ and waiting to see if he has a UTI and are giving antibiotics.
I said that if antibiotics were going to work, surely there would have been some improvement by now.
No answer!
He has been on 3 different wards since being admitted, and was going to have a Lumbar Puncture, but this was cancelled.
My question is: How do I get someone to talk to me? I don’t expect staff to drop everything just because I’m there, but it just seems like they don’t know what to with him/about him, and some decisions need to be made.
Thanks.
Answers
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going on my mothers treatment in hospital it pays to be persistent. badger them until you get the answers you want, his treatment, and where you go next. I totally sympathise with you, been in that position myself. The chief nurse said i was quite an angry person, which didn't put me off, i'm not by the way but was a very upset / concerned daughter.
" but it just seems like they don’t know what to with him/about him, and some decisions need to be made."
That situation is not an uncommon one in medicine and people's expectations are exaggerated, even in a 92 year old and it is often better to do nothing than to pre-guess the diagnosis and treat inappropriately. Yes, the antibiotics should have worked IF indeed it was a UTI.
Don't expect too much.
you also haven't given us much information of his underlying medical conditions, if any.
The doctor clearly had few answers, so your conversation was short........it happens.
That situation is not an uncommon one in medicine and people's expectations are exaggerated, even in a 92 year old and it is often better to do nothing than to pre-guess the diagnosis and treat inappropriately. Yes, the antibiotics should have worked IF indeed it was a UTI.
Don't expect too much.
you also haven't given us much information of his underlying medical conditions, if any.
The doctor clearly had few answers, so your conversation was short........it happens.
So how difficult would it have been for the Doctor to have said something along the lines of "we don't know yet, we'll let you know as soon as we do know something?" sqad? Something simple like taking 2 minutes out of their busy day can make all the difference to the relatives.
It seems to me that some doctors eventually stop seeing their patients and their relatives as people and treat them like they're on a conveyor belt- a chore that needs doing.
i don't have an answer for you Bigdad, I hope you get some sort of closure for your dad and that he and you are treated with some respect sooner rather than later!
It seems to me that some doctors eventually stop seeing their patients and their relatives as people and treat them like they're on a conveyor belt- a chore that needs doing.
i don't have an answer for you Bigdad, I hope you get some sort of closure for your dad and that he and you are treated with some respect sooner rather than later!
Next time you visit, ask to speak to the nursing staff in charge, inform them you wish to have a meeting with medical staff re your fathers condition asap Ask the staff their name and position in the ward, advise them you will be documenting the conversation.. Have questions ready prepared you wish to ask re dads' condition, prognosis, diagnosis. Good luck .
But he didn’t say anything, Sqad, except ask things like “has this happened before” and “when” and “has he been admitted before”
Instead of expecting me to memorise dates and times, he should read notes for an exact answer.
I know hospital staff are busy and overstretched, but all I want is a proper conversation, even if they can’t answer my questions, I’d like an opportunity to ask them.
I’m not at the complaint stage, but why can’t someone say “OK, next time you come to visit” or “If you come in early we will schedule some time for you”
BOO, thank you for your kind words.
Instead of expecting me to memorise dates and times, he should read notes for an exact answer.
I know hospital staff are busy and overstretched, but all I want is a proper conversation, even if they can’t answer my questions, I’d like an opportunity to ask them.
I’m not at the complaint stage, but why can’t someone say “OK, next time you come to visit” or “If you come in early we will schedule some time for you”
BOO, thank you for your kind words.
Bit of an ‘RC’ reply, there Sqad!
Surely better for me to request some time in the future rather than demand someone speaks to me here and now?
He may be old, he may be mad as a box of frogs, he may even be an inconvenience to the NHS, but he’s still my dad, and even if there is no hope for him, I’d like to know.
Surely better for me to request some time in the future rather than demand someone speaks to me here and now?
He may be old, he may be mad as a box of frogs, he may even be an inconvenience to the NHS, but he’s still my dad, and even if there is no hope for him, I’d like to know.
“when there is something relevant to report you will be informed”.
Fair enough, but meantime, even a “we don’t have a clue” is better than nothing.
I had a call earlier this week asking for my permission for a lumbar puncture, with a (volunteered) assurance I would be told the results as soon as they had them. (Was told some would be known immediately, some would take longer) but I asked the nurse about it yesterday. It was cancelled, and no one bothered to tell me this, or why.
Fair enough, but meantime, even a “we don’t have a clue” is better than nothing.
I had a call earlier this week asking for my permission for a lumbar puncture, with a (volunteered) assurance I would be told the results as soon as they had them. (Was told some would be known immediately, some would take longer) but I asked the nurse about it yesterday. It was cancelled, and no one bothered to tell me this, or why.
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