Late People

[Loosehead]

Can anyone explain why certain people are always late? I have a friend that no matter what warning you give will always be late, it drives me mad. I sometimes go around to pick him up to go somewhere and I'm always on time, he's never ready, I mean what are they thinking? I'm going out at 7pm so that's when I'll start getting ready. I suppose it drives me mad because I'm have a fear of being late so I'm always early or on time. Do "late people" have a fear of being early or are they trying to be "fashionably late"? I think it's very rude, I have other friends who are more like me and if there's a chance they'll be late they phone as do I. So come on you late people why are you late?

[Marvin84]

I am mostly late (although I DO phone people to let them know)... So, as my final joke to the world... For my funeral, I am leaving in my will that I want it to run late... I figure it'll give them something to remember me by and laugh about!!

:-)

[Loosehead]

I'm similar Natalie, I once went for a job interview and looking at the train timetable it said the train would arrive 10 mins before the interview and the location was next to the station so perfect..... for a normal person! You guessed it, I caught the train an hour earlier so I was over an hour early, I just couldn't risk letting BR nobble it for me! So I found the exact place where I needed to go then read the paper until the time. How do late people get jobs? I mean turning up late for an interview is a big no no

[Gevs1966]

There are two types of character in which you are trying to understand here. They are "Through timers" and "In Timers".

An extreme example of a through timer would be someone who keeps lists of things to do, is always organised and plans through what they are going to do all the time. They are the kind of people that can't relax until everything is done and finished with.

An example of an In Timer would be someone who is chilled out, doesn't get stressed, doesn't plan and often end up rushing at the last minute to get things done but doesn't worry about it, lateness could be a trend of this.

 

These are extreme examples but the attributes are inate characteristics, they are not conditioned, people will often show traits of each side but will always tend to lean towards one or the other. People can adapt to be more organised or more laid back in certain situations eg, an in timer might make lists at work to help organise.

 

The main thing to remember that there is NOTHING wrong with either side but the problem comes from peoples perceptions. Through timers percieve in timers to be lazy, rude, not in control and not committed to whatever it is they are doing and most of the time this could not be further from the truth.

Likewise, In timers may percieve through timers to be Uptight, anal, stressed out nags who should just chill out a bit when often this is not the case.

The two sides actually compliment each other very well in many many situations and should be accepted and respected as different characteristics accordingly without incorrect perceptions.

You could probably find quite a bit of info on both sides by googling

 

Sorry for the long post!

[natalie_1982]

I had a job interview last week that was at 10.45, I managed to get there at a record....... 9.40 and sat nursing a coffee for an hour.  The interview and test were over in less time than I was waiting.

[becks]

I actually take offence to saying it is bad upbringing - how dare you! It is nothing to do with my upbringing, and i'm do not think the world revolves around me, simly that no matter how much time i leave, i'm always late, i apologise and my friends accept it - should i have a go at my friend who's always early? No becuase that's what she does, i think it's more worrying people who get so infuriated about late people, and how on earth can you have a fear of being late - the world won't end! I'm with Obonio, there's more important things to worry about than being late - i bet all you people who moan about people being late are the same that moan about people speeding! It's who i am, and that might sound lame but i don't really care. Saying it is down to a bad upbringing is downright rude and offensive.

[natalie_1982]

I agree with you there Becks, but we don't all think you're rude, I didn;t mean to cause any offence, it amuses me that I'm engaged to somebody that drives me mental (but as Gevs pointed out, I drive him absolutely nuts too with my constant hen-pecking/ "Why does it take you so long to put your shoes on?!!" / nagging / analness).

It's what makes us all different and more interesting, wouldn't life be boring if we all arrived on time?  :)

[milly143]

becks - I agree that it has nothing to do with upbringing. I have a huge family and we are different in how we work but obviously all brought up in the same way. I think lateness just annoys me because I am the complete opposite.

p.s. I don't moan about people speeding. that would be hypocrytical :-)

[Loosehead]

OK Becks, Obonio etc, accepting you are late people and even if to you it's no big deal. How do you manage to get to job interviews on time?

If you're on a coach trip and the organiser says be back at the coach by 6pm are you the ones that arrive at 6:30 making everyone wait or would that situation demand even you get there on time?

Just trying to understand the thinking of the "late person"

[Gevs1966]

Loosehead read my post above. It is not about thinking, it is an inate characteristic and occurs in the subconscious.

It is your perception of these people that is the problem.

[Loosehead]

I read your post, very interesting, I was just wondering  what happens when they simply MUST be on time, there must be some sort of "override" if they know that for example they will never get a job if they can't turn up on time for an interview. Even the latest of late people must have a way.

[Gevs1966]

Adaptations can be made when they are necessary like with most personality characteristics. The example I used above was a simple one on an "in timer" writing organised lists at work. This goes against the personality trait but would be deemed necessary enough for an adaptation to be made.

 

Your next question will be "why can't these people adapt all the time then?"

It simply doesn't work like that, it would be like asking a through timer not to plan ahead for anything ever. Just wouldn't happen

[OBonio]

Loosehead, as I said in my post, I'm only late for things I don't think are critical.  If my job was under threat for being late, I would get in on time.  Same for meetings etc.

Out of curiosity, I wonder if the 'lates' are the owls and the 'earlees' the larks?  I'm definitely an owl and have huge troubles getting out of bed in the morning.

[FP]

OBonio, Interesting theory.  I tend towards being a late person or arrive just in the nick of time.  I am also an owl and just hate mornings.  I never arrive with plenty of time to spare.  I actually always arrived for work on time - but only just.  Most of my colleages arrived early and had coffee and chats before starting work.

Oh and I was very well brought up.  It is rather offensive to blame someone's upbringing if they are a 'late' person.

[londondave]

i am very reliable, always on time or usually early, i have a mate that was a bad time keeper and was always late, so if we were going out at 8pm, we would tell him to be round by 7:30pm, that usually worked, other times if we were using a bus/train and were meeting at a stop or station we would get on the train even if he hadnt turned up on time. now he is a good a time keeper as me

[smudge]

If you could paste all FP's comments to this post - she is me! Also, I have always been a night bird - I am not a morning person.

I wouldn't class myself as rude & haven't done too bad for myself over the years either!

[Loosehead]

OK Obonio, I get the picture, you're on time when necessary. It's someone else's problem when your late for something that you do not deem important enough. At least the late people can't help it but you are making a concious decision to late for things that are not "critical". You think so little of your friends I'm surprised you have any.

[ursula62]

so it's OK to be late for something that's not "critical".

To those who feel like that, why can't you consider the feelings of your friend or family member who has taken the trouble to invite you to dinner and gone to a lot of effort to ensure you eat a beautifully cooked meal? Do their feelings not matter? Are their efforts to show their love/respect/affection for you unimportant?

If someone has made the effort to invite you around to their house for a meal or a party then you should make the effort to arrive on time. If you can't be bothered to do that then say so at the time of the invitation, not by turning up an hour late and expecting to be welcomed with open arms.

Why is your time more valuable than that of your friend or relative?

Yes it is rude - it's saying "I don't care how much effort you put into this. Arriving at my own pace is more important than your efforts, your feelings and what you've spent on the meal."

[OBonio]

Luckily I don't have any friends like you Loosehead LOL.  I have plenty of good friends and they accept me for who I am.  I have a lot of respect for them for that and I, in no way whatsoever, think little of them.  I would bend over backwards for any of them.  If they needed me, I'd be there.  I class that as critical.  If we're meeting for a drink or just a social, I don't class that as critical an would invariably be later than I said I would.

Secondly, don't try and judge people by your standards.  It's very dangerous.

[OBonio]

Ursula, you are putting words to my actions.  I don't intend to offend by my lateness.  If I do, is that my fault?  Or is it your expectations?  I think the latter, but that's just my opinion.

If I wanted to be rude, I wouldn't turn up at all or I'd comment on how bad the cooking is ;o).