How can she be a lesbian?

[dollypins]

My friends mother has just come out as gay. I can't understand how you can suddenly decide you are gay. She's been married to her husband for 16 years. My friend is really upset and hopes that her mum is just having a midlife crisis.

Either it's a phase she's going through or she's always been gay? What do you think? What advise can I give my friend?

[sunny-dave]

hmmm - must get rid of the bra & wear a vest instead ...

[Teddy_boy]

People come out every day its no big deal in the 21st century.

[Slapshot]

Oh bu&&er, my missus has just bought a new pair of pink timberlands.....maybe she'll let me watch..;-)

[sara3]

OMG, Dave's a lesbian!

I have to say, I was suspicious..

[Teddy_boy]

Anyway most of the lesbians ive seen are american and blonde , very attractive and fit looking.Otherwise i wouldnt buy the Dvds.

[joggerjayne]

My checky Jack Wills shirt is called a "boyfriend shirt" ... it's even got that stamped on the inside of the collar.

Maybe it should be called a "girlfriend shirt" ... LOL

[Slapshot]

What about rugby shirts...she keeps nicking mine to wear instead of jammies....is that another sign....

[joggerjayne]

LOL Teddy

[paddywak]

You can't go by stereo-types. There was a guy who lived just up the road from my sister late twenties married with a couple of kids, played footie for the local pub your average guy. One day sis called me up to tell me it was the talk of the village that totally out of the blue he'd told his wife he couldn't carry living the life he was as he had always felt he was a woman in a mans body. Last we heard he'd had the monty sex change, hormone treatment the lot and was living with some fellow in Sheffield. His wife has never accepted it but the two kids eventually did, as one of them said "He's still my dad even if he's my mum as well"

[mickrog]

if she starts playing....i will survive.....thats the time to worry

[sunny-dave]

So that's it then - JJ & Dave - the "AB Gay Bikers Club" - check shirts WILL be worn ;)

[Teddy_boy]

Sorry i didnt mean to post that.

[Marijn]

I think that the dad is entitled to feel upset that his marriage has unexpectedly broken up, and so is the daughter entitled to be upset.
You're a good friend to want to be there for her.

[joggerjayne]

he he ...

Oh no, hang on, Dave ... a checky shirt will clash with my kevlar camos.

We may have to rethink the Gay Bikers dress code.

[dollypins]

people can say its no big deal but my friend's dad feels like his whole marriage has been a lie. There is no way he can work at the moment, he's in pieces. Dr has signed him off with stress. Can you imagine how you'd feel if your wife did this? You men may think it's funny but in reality you'd feel inadeqoote?

I don't know if I should say this but there is another lesbian stereotype. The arty type ones where they wear the baggy denim shirts and the cord trousers with buckle up shoes with the chunky mexican jewellery or coloured stones on silver.

i understand lesbians can come in any shape or form. My friend is coming over tomorrow for a chat. she's feeling quite down in the dumps.

thanks for responses

[boxtops]

Dolly, forget your stereotype ideas, they are very outdated (and your second example sounds very smart, I could wear stuff like that any day). You can't tell sexual affinity by just looking........

[Teddy_boy]

Growing a moustache, smoking a pipe, and reading the daily star can be tell tale signs.So some say.

[boxtops]

Guys - this is a serious question, dolly and her friends are teenagers. Rein it in a bit. Please.