How can she be a lesbian?

[dollypins]

My friends mother has just come out as gay. I can't understand how you can suddenly decide you are gay. She's been married to her husband for 16 years. My friend is really upset and hopes that her mum is just having a midlife crisis.

Either it's a phase she's going through or she's always been gay? What do you think? What advise can I give my friend?

[Slapshot]

Dolly, please ignore the nonsense, I guess you'll feel quite slighted by the "laugh", thing is that's just people making light of a situation, don't worry most of us would do the best we could with advice.

It's not funny for those it has affected most and I guess we'd be devastated to be in the same position. Ignore us saddos.

[DTCwordfan]

I must put on the turquoise Mexican jewellery that I have and the Jesus creeper sandals, never mind the lingerie that dave is discarding - and all this before ummmm is on my case/back......

I just love the silver so much.

Jeez.

[sunny-dave]

< please don't think that because one or two of us are having some fun we don't care about your friend's situation - the breakdown of a parents' marriage (for whatever reason) is a sad thing and I hope you can support your friend through a difficult period in her life >

dave

[sara3]

boxy, bless your heart x

[boxtops]

Ahem, I refer you to my last post.

[boxtops]

^ dave and JJ posted before I'd finished :-(

[DTCwordfan]

Just be there for your friend and listen, and listen even more.....and even if you know the answer, say you will get back tomorrow.....as it gives you genuine thinking time. Any questions - just for clarification and do not opine - that can come later.

[annadomino]

Dolly, in simple abc, she didn't change overnight. She tried to overcome her feelings, and conform, the stress must have got too much. Not matter what she did, she gave your friend life and loved her. Make your friend aware.

[lcg]

and this is what our society produces today. omg. you and your friend need to seriously get a grip. what about feeling sorry for her mum and mourning the last 16 years of her life? ok her dad is upset and a marriage has ended, but her mum may well have loved her dad very much. apportioning blame and pointing fingers in any way is still akin to discrimination here, people and this poster should know better and so should her friend at 18 - they are adults for christ's sake! relationships are complicated, people are complicated - her dad would have felt cheated if she had been having an affair with a man for the last five years. it's not about her being lesbian, it's not about him 'wasting' 16 years of his life - they had a marriage, a home, a child and lives during that point. you all sound like you need a slap round the head. breakups hurt and if everybody 'mans up' (pun intended here) then the relationship and breakup can be dealt with in a more positive and less damaging manner and mum, dad and your friend could actually (gasp) be happier for it in the long run. hurumph.

[Old_Geezer]

In his shoes I doubt I'd feel inadequate, but I would feel deceived. I can understand the feeling that the marriage has been a sham. But the thing is one has to let time pass and come to terms with the situation. Isn't going to be easy for all of you. Best of luck to all concerned.

[boxtops]

well said, lcg.

[lcg]

thank you. i feel quite sensible after posting that.

[ladybirder]

Hey red, <<Oh purlease I am wetting myself at that description Molly!>> Are you saying dollypins is mollykins? That thought had crossed my mind.

[redcrx]

does the fact that she left him from a woman means the loss is worse than if she had left him for a man?
forget all about whether she looks gay, Molly, and focus on the fact that your friends parents have split up and that she may just need a friendly shoulder.

[sunny-dave]

redcrx ^^^ 'best answer'

[DTCwordfan]

Happy New Year, Molly, come back and tell us what has been going on with you - in twenty pages or less!

Some of us have missed your ramblings on life at large for a teenager.

[Slapshot]

what happened to Molly.....

[DTCwordfan]

Mollykins was an AB stalwart, slapshot, up to early this year. And much inane debate did she initiate.....she is "fameuse" as a contributor.

[dollypins]

Sorry to disappoint but I'm not Molly. We were the same age but she was a geeky virgin if I remember rightly. Funny girl though, wonder what happened to her. My mum wishes I was a geeky virgin lol ;)

[joggerjayne]

Molly was jolly.

Dolly is also jolly, even if Dolly is not Molly.