Work2

[marval]

I keep seeing these signs reading, "Make money at home in your spare time." I thought, "What a great idea!"
It turns out that's illegal, and it's called counterfeiting.


I had to deliver a parcel to the surgery today.
It was just what the doctor ordered


My first day as an auctioneer went very well.
I sold lots.


The boss told me I was behind on my work and needed to get my head down.
So I took his advice and had a little nap.


Just been sacked from Asda for doing the stock take wrong.
On the plus side, I have enough OXO to last a lifetime.


I have a habit of sleeping in too late and missing work, so my doctor recommended that I sleep in a herb garden.
At first it sounded odd, but I did wake up on thyme.


I've just had dealings with the Monopolies Commission.
Came away with an iron, a top hat and a racing car.


I've just been laid off from the cake factory due to the credit crunch.
Hundreds and Thousands are at risk!


I recently went for a job at the head office of the Ordnance Survey.
They kept asking if I could give them a reference.
I told them, "N 50.93, W 01.47."


My local job centre is rubbish. They asked me if I had any specific skills.
"Yes, I worked as a joiner for 8 years and as a butcher for 10 years" I said.
I start at Cow and Gate on Monday.


I start my new job as a forklift driver today. I've no experience, but I'll be OK.
I pick things up quickly.


Word of advice when at a job interview "A hip flask and some snacks" is not a good answer to the question "what will you bring to this job?"

[zebo]

Prompted by getting behind with your work, I am reminded of a notice on the bacon slicer at the grocers in the '50s "Mothers, please do not allow your children to sit on the bacon slicer as we are getting behind with our orders"

[marval]

Good one zebo

[Chipchopper]

Great stuff!!

That reminds me......A young apprentice was sacked from the butchers shop, after being caught with his hands in the bacon slicer.

The poor girl had complained to the manager on several occasions

[Canary42]

In fact she got so upset she sat on the slicing machine.

Disaster.

[excelsior-1]

nice ones, marval

[maggiebee]

Very chuckle worthy marval

[starone]

Tee hee some really good ones tonight.

[owdhamer]

Boss said why do you only work 4 days a week ,cant manage on 3.