Sexual Abuse

[nailit]

not so long ago I inadvertantly (inadvertantly, as in I was drunk at the time) posted that I experienced sexual abuse at the hands of a teacher when I was young.
It was 40 yrs ago, it happened when I was 8-10 yrs of age (im now 48) Not sure that it can be called sexual abuse but to my 'adult' mind it defininetly was. If not sexual abuse it was certainly abuse in my mind.
I had a teacher who, for whatever reason, took a dislike to me. Within days of been in his class he started to keep me behind. My abiding memory was off his hands feeling and squeezing my Yabbie before he 'slippered' me. I sometimes went home raw. He definitly got his rocks off by feeling my Yabbie before slapping it.
He also (more or less everyday) got me to stand in front of the class and say
"I am a pratt, I am a pillock etc, and then keep me behind after class to feel my behind and then to slipper me.
Not a question as such, just offloading. Hope the pudding dies screaming of rectal cancer.
40 yrs on what can I 'prove' anyway?
(and yes, im drunk now... [edited])

[nailit]

yabbie? where did that come from? I wrote a**e

[nailit]

Hope the pudding dies screaming of rectal cancer.... pudding? thats not what I wrote....I give up

[pixie373]

He isn't worth that. I don't know if he could be charged now. It would be difficult - depending on how many others he did it to. You need to concentrate more on yourself now. I don't know whether counselling or other groups might be beneficial to you, but it's good you've opened up now. I won't type what i think of him x

[pixie373]

Swear filter, nailit. Maybe its been changed from asterisks. Excuse me while i check- ***.

[wolf63]

You are being censored. :-)

I imagine that one of our legal type dudes can give you some legal type information.

I am just older than you and teachers could get off with such abuse when I was at school. Most of my teachers were okay so I was lucky.

Getting rid of your anger may help.

Have you tried Googling the guy's name - he may have died or something and it may help you put your demons to rest.

[pixie373]

Some have, some haven't...

[DTCwordfan]

we had one too, though he wasn't violent , just liked little boys. Three of us went to the headmaster when he took one of our pre-pubescent mates, quite a feminine and small boy, (really nice kid), to the old Victorian garages on the site to photograph him. He was off the site within the hour, the HM taking all 11 year olds plus aside for a sex education session which certainly saved the old man some not-inconsiderable embarrassment. If it had been today, he would and should have been done.

I can remember waking up one night and someone in my bed, a hard penis at my back but it went no further than that. Never knew if it was him, but I had my suspicions.

I don't have your 'anger,' nailit - maybe you need some help to work it through......I've just put it down to an experience and moved on ad, ultimately, you need to do that - with counselling assistance, if you need it.

[Sparkles62]

Nailit, I know what you mean, I was mentally abused by a teacher at high school, I know why she didn't like me and why she did it, not that it makes it right.
Sometimes I think that I would love to meet her and tell her what an absolute cow she was and how she made my school life a misery, but that is never likely to happen. I think that you just have to deal with these things and try and get on with your life, that is how i coped with it anyway. X

[nailit]

have googled his name Wolf, nothing of note comes up. hope he has died by now. Funnily enough I 'bumped' into him about 20 yrs ago and followed him around town with with the intention of killing him when he retrurned to his car, lost him in the crowwds. Would have killed him tho. given the chance

[jennyjoan]

Hi Nailit - as you can see there are numerous people who have been in your shoes - albeit different ways.

It happened to me when I was 10 and it was an uncle of a friend of my mine. Years later I happened to tell my cousin and she was able to tell me that she, too, had been abused by her uncle.

So many people keep it to themselves and have just got on with it. If you keep on dwelling on it you will have let the funker, not only destroyed your younger life but now your older. I know it is very hard but you need to rise above it.

[jennyjoan]

Notice in your post - you would have killed him - well, you would have been a very foolish man in doing any kind of time for a funker like him.

[nailit]

DTC and Sparkles, sorry your answers wernt there when i replied, please forgive me. Im a bit inebrieated at the mo

[nailit]

thanks jenny

[kvalidir]

It might be worth reporting it to the police if you think he got sexual gratification from feeling you and then committed violence against you also for sexual reasons. A lot of historic sexual abuse charges are now being levied against perpetrators, and if you are not the only one to report hi that will give your allegations added weight both to your case and to the other people who might have reported him. Sometimes just setting things like this on record helps some people recover somewhat from things, and if this is anything to do with the problems that you have experienced as an adult it might be possible to claim against him if he's financially worth it for loss of amenity, pain and suffering if his actions affected you as an adolescent or adult. Compensation could pay for a lot of help for you with your drinking etc if it could be procured, but more importantly I think if you are proactive in doing something to get this on record it might enable you to let it go a little and for it to not have such an effect on you.

[Sparkles62]

Killing him would mean that he was gone and you would suffer by going to prison and getting a criminal record and a bad name, definately not a good idea.
If anything I would write all your feelings down, everything, really let rip, no swear filters on paper.
Take it in the garden take your temper out on it by stamping on it, imagine that you are stamping on him, set fire to it, burn the memories and let it go, X

[jennyjoan]

for what it is worth cos I think this is the lowest of the low.

Another friend told me that she too was we say "interfered with" - sounds a bit "softer" - anyway by her brother - again she was about 10 and he was about 16. I think that is very hard but she is a fantastic woman and became so successful - while to me he is a piece of worthless sh$t.

[jennyjoan]

Kval - while your posting makes a lot of sense it takes a strong man to be able to come forward and to act on it. At the moment I don't think Nailit (in his state of mind) would have the coping mechanisms to carry it through. Sometimes you should just let "sleeping dogs lie".

Maybe Nailit you could get some comfort going to a counsellor - at least you can spill your "guts" out and get rid of some of the angst.

[EcclesCake]

Sound suggestion from Sparkles.

[DTCwordfan]

Just read it when you are 'boser,' nailit; there's some good advice here.

[nailit]

Am seriously thinking of takin kvalidir's advice. I might be drunk now but Ill be sober tomorrow and theres only so many tomorrows i can face now. Av spent enough time in court rooms with judges (who dont know me from Adam) telling me what a **** I am without knowing about the ****** who made me what I am.
F*** it, I hope the **** is still alive just so I can wreck his head like he wrecked mine.