Sexual Abuse

[nailit]

not so long ago I inadvertantly (inadvertantly, as in I was drunk at the time) posted that I experienced sexual abuse at the hands of a teacher when I was young.
It was 40 yrs ago, it happened when I was 8-10 yrs of age (im now 48) Not sure that it can be called sexual abuse but to my 'adult' mind it defininetly was. If not sexual abuse it was certainly abuse in my mind.
I had a teacher who, for whatever reason, took a dislike to me. Within days of been in his class he started to keep me behind. My abiding memory was off his hands feeling and squeezing my Yabbie before he 'slippered' me. I sometimes went home raw. He definitly got his rocks off by feeling my Yabbie before slapping it.
He also (more or less everyday) got me to stand in front of the class and say
"I am a pratt, I am a pillock etc, and then keep me behind after class to feel my behind and then to slipper me.
Not a question as such, just offloading. Hope the pudding dies screaming of rectal cancer.
40 yrs on what can I 'prove' anyway?
(and yes, im drunk now... [edited])

[jennyjoan]

At the moment Nailit - with the jungle juice in you - you are all-consumed with your grey matter (brain). Tomorrow in the cold light of day you will view these postings in a better frame of mind.

[nailit]

Tomorrow jenny, Ill probably be embarrased at having posted this. (if im not in the cells in the mean time)...........

[jennyjoan]

LOL - don't worry about it - we have all been there!!!!

[nailit]

What? in the police cells?
Thats comforting ;-)

[boxtops]

nailit - you know you will read this tomorrow and we know that we understand where you are coming from. I'd leave it for now if I were you - brooding on it ain't going to help tonight. I like the idea of setting fire to a voodoo doll - gives you some control over the memory. Burned, gone.

[nailit]

youre so right Boxy, thanks. Im pretty bladdered now, beds calling

[EDDIE51]

Nalit just seen this. It WAS sexual abuse and of a very nasty kind.
If you know the teachers name and school you should report it. Probably too late as you say but you never know he could still be alive and in his 70s /80s remember Rolf Harris ?
If nothing else it may help your 'demons' to give you some rest.

[anneasquith]

its never too late to report a crime like this, I know there is a support group for adults who were abuses as children, who since the JS case have felt confident to report abuse, I hope some aber may know the email address of this group or at least a telephone number. good luck.

[hc4361]

A teacher I knew in the 60s is now 91 and his trial for indecently abusing his pupils is due to start in January 2015, so it is never too late.
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/former-weoley-castle-pe-teachermarcus-7526241

Google your school and see what you can find.

[hc4361]

This is a great organisation that may be able to help, nailit.
http://www.patient.co.uk/support/AMSOSA-Adult-Male-Survivors-of-Sexual-Abuse.htm

[hc4361]

Another source of help:
http://www.survivorsuk.org/

[anneasquith]

hc, great to post those links, I hope nailit sees them.

[scorpiojo]

http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/child_abuse_survivors.php#adult

[anneasquith]

thanks jo.

[scorpiojo]

Hope it helps :)

[nailit]

Thanks for replies and links guys. I was a "bit under the weather" when I posted this. God only knows why I 'discover' A.B or the internet when Ive had a drink and feel the need to post stuff, that I'd otherwise wish to forget. I feel deeply embarressed when I catch up.
Ive had a drink tonight but not as bladdered as I was when I posted this. Only ever told 2 people in real life (my sister and my ex) about this and I was drunk both times and both times it was perceived as the drink talking. Really cant think of much good in pursuing this. Is my memory faulty? Wheres the evidence, apart from my say so? etc...
Ive had enough dealings with the law to know how things get twisted in a courtroom. I dont believe in a justice system anymore. The one with the best paid lawyer wins (witness the popularity of Nick Freeman with celebrities who can afford him).
Just want to say thank you to all that replied.
I know what happened and I'll have to deal with it....its the only way, even 40 yrs later.
Not been the victim here (had that thrown at me a few times) just facing facts and wanted to say thanks to all here.
(and yeah, had a few drinks but I think my typings still ok considering ;-) )

[EDDIE51]

nalit I am CETAIN that this abuse is the root cause of your current problems.
It may not be too late to report it, there may be other reports, I am sure you were not the only victim.
Even if you do not report it you MUST let your probation / mental health people know as it is very relevant to your problems. Without them knowing this they are not able to give the correct advice and help.

[nailit]

Thank you EDDIE, as always......
Ive had 3 different probation officers over the last 16 months or so....one left to go into social services, (original officer) another was a sort of halfwayerr to my present officer, who is a young girl who could be my daughter (mid 20's i would guess). No consistency. My probation finishes next month or early next month.
Mental Health services.....First Im seeing one prson then the next (when I can manage to get an app) again, no consistency.

[EDDIE51]

Then let your own GP know so at least he/she is aware of your circumstances.

[anneasquith]

nailet, I'm so glad you came back to you're thread, please look at the links abers have posted for you.