Jealousy?

[Scarlett]

When I was 18 and at uni I had a special male friend who would come and visit me in my room- we'd talk philosophy through the night. I was very flattered by this and hoped it might become more than platonic over time. Then one day my friend Gill stopped by as my male friend was visiting. I sat and watched her flirt and giggle and preen and flatter him. The next day they were going out, I lost him as a friend and that was that. 30 years on I have a special male friend who I do everything with- hope it might become something more; and my lodger is now doing the same thing- giggling, flirting, being tactile. I want to punch her. He, of course, loves the attention and probably fancies her a lot more than he does me. I am not proud of the jealousy I feel. Any thoughts on what I should do?

[anneasquith]

LOL ' @ sqad............ you have been reading too many Barbara Cartland books . :)

[Sqad]

andy

\\\\Ones who appreciate women as individuals to build relationships with based on other appeals than sex.

I have had dozens of platonic girlfrields over the years - they are very rewarding.

Being a 'boke' you are missing out.\\\\

Yeah! right. I think that I can live with "missing out."

[ummmm]

I have platonic male friends.

[B00]

I'd still give it up, sounds wayyyy too much like hard.

[B00]

work*

[Sqad]

BOO

\\\\\I'd still give it up, sounds wayyyy too much like hard. \\\\

That is the problem....he never is.

[ummmm]

Unless he feels the same and assumes Scarlett isn't interested in him sexually.

[B00]

lol, yeah sqad, realised afterwards that the all important word was missing from the end!

Gotta say, you've all surprised me, don't think anyone else has agreed with me- ie take the lazy route and say it's not worth it, lol.

[ummmm]

I don't think it sounds like hard work. If he does have feelings for Scarlett he gives up his friend with benefits.

[Scarlett]

He keeps blowing off the friend with benefits cos he's with me. We are busy on the project but often we're just having fun. She is not happy but I feel their arrangement has run its course.

[mccfluff]

im with you Boo, i reckon he would of made a move by now if he was interested, i'd stop letting him stay the night - at the very least in your bed & get some distance, if he asks why tell him.

[snags]

Unless this bloke is a complete numpty he must have seen/picked up on Scarlett's signs/body language toward him over the last 9 months.

He isn't interested.

[ummmm]

Some people just don't pick up on that kind of thing.

I spent loads of time with my OH and didn't know he was interested. Someone else told me :-)

I just hope thats the case for Scarlett.

[jennyjoan]

"He keeps blowing off the friend with benefits cos he's with me" Is he really?

Watch that one carefully.

[Scarlett]

Yes he is. I'm there when the messages come in- often using the iPad with him as we work.

[tamborine]

Sleep buff, let duvet reveal your assets. Your stray leg creeps over his nether regions while you cuddle into him. If that dont wake his senses, kick him before your trot away naked ;)

[kvalidir]

I agree you need to make some kind of move, but some men are more cerebral and slow moving than others so it needs to be subtle.
I liked someone, huge age difference, plus I think initially he thought I was older than I was which was extra awkward at first, we were platonic friends, fascinating man but very quiet. I asked him one day why he was single and he said he 'wasn't very good with women, not really what they are usually looking for'. I said 'They're stupid then, we ought to go out for lunch one day, I think you're fascinating.' and devastatingly ( at the time) he looked horrified and said ' God I don't know what to say to that...'. so I just smiled and said ' Well let's not let it cause weirdness between us, want a coffee?' and went off and made him one. Ensuing awkwardness for a bit.
The next 3 times I went to the house he made himself absent and I assumed I'd stuffed it and he wasn't interested and was making himself scarce and then totally out of the blue he invited me to the Battle Proms and it's been fine ever since.
Make a move but keep it light, you never know until you try, h might just be a man who is more interested in interesting things than pouncing on everything in a skirt.

[Scarlett]

Interesting kvalidir. I know many examples of men who were confused at first and then when they knew that 'my mate fancies you' they warmed up to the idea. It's happened to me before, and friends of mine. It's as if the man needed permission, then to know he wouldn't be turned down. That have him confidence to then go for it.

[ummmm]

It's happened to me before.

I only looked at my partner as a friend until I found out how he felt....then my feelings started to change. I adore him :-)

[kvalidir]

I actually think it's the perfect way for things to start because you have a really solid bedrock of knowing who the person is first, far better than picking up some pretty stranger in a club and finding out he's a twonk.