I'm Broken Hearted

[mallyh]

after son doing so well somethings happened (he can't handle things life throws at us)looks like he is using again ,he says no but he is always broke and asking for money ,starting to look unkempt.i had to tell him after so many chances we can't do it anymore and he is on his own .20 years of looking out for him is enough ,oh and I need to start enjoying our lives .so why do I feel so utterly sick .

[NoMercy]

Of course you feel wretched, you're his mum but you're doing the right thing.

No one can help him if he can't help himself.

[mazie]

I went through similar with an old school friend of my Son's. They were best mates forever. Roger lost his Mum and Dad and his older brother kicked him out of the family home. His drug use got into the really heavy stuff and he got sent to prison. He had nowhere to go when he came out. He stayed with us for a few months. I was so happy, he seemed to be happy and "clean". My son started noticing his stuff going missing and some of ours too. The police came and took him away. I was heartbroken, so I can only imagine how I would have felt in your place Mally :0(

[Eleena]

I don't know what you will do Mally, it will be hard.

[mallyh]

I just can't get the real son out of my head but when he' s on drugs he is totally horrible , but he has made his decision and I've told him enough is enough he is not to call or come round asking for money etc .we have spent thousands on him trying to help .even paying off dealers so he didn't get done over.this is money that we should be spending in our old age .

[pastafreak]

I hope you have not closed the door completely to him. I know you do not want /nor can you offer or give him any more money. And that is right. But he needs your support more than ever. Do talk to, and remind him of the success he had...encourage him in believing he can do it again. I'm not sure many can be so successful as to be permanently clean after their first attempt, but it may at least serve as damage limitation.

[Smowball]

So sorry to hear this. Seems there are quite a few of us on here who are at our wits end with kids. It's so so difficult. I do agree with pasta though x

[mallyh]

pastafreak he has tried many times but it only lasted days so after 5 months we were so hopeful .we just can't watch him destroy his self anymore ,

[murraymints]

oh Mally..I am so sorry.. you have had to deal with so much in recent times...you have done your best , you know you have... perhaps time for tough love... you have to think of your own ..and Mr M's health now....you can't help someone who does not want to be helped... thinking of you xx

[ummmm]

Mally....there is only so much you can cope with. Don't feel bad for what ever decision you make. You deserve to be happy.

[Tilly2]

Mally, I am sorry. All your hopes have been dashed. You can't keep doing this.

[david small]

The famous AA blue book advises addicts to admit to themselves that they have lost control of their lives, and to ask for help from a higher power. How to define the higher power is up to the individual. Suggest this to your son. I know from personal experience it can work.
I wish the three of you better times ahead.