Is Being A Top In A Bdsm Relationship Really About Empowerment?

[rowanwitch]

Just thinking about this, a friend used to say she liked being dominant as she was able to work through a lot of bad stuff from her life She wouldn't switch roles because of early abuse but did say she enjoyed the responsibility for her partner. He used to say it was all about freedom, when you are completely disempowered in a safe space it is the nearest thing to total freedom. For me it was just a bit of a laugh between consenting adults. What do others think

[jim360]

Just wanting to put the subject to bed, so to speak :)

[anneasquith]

I didn't suggest anything kva anything, I asked a question .

[Mamyalynne]

Leave them to it Anne , some of us are women of mystery - others live life in the full glare.

[anneasquith]

Good point M .

[kvalidir]

I thought the question was loaded in that you clearly don't think the question or answers therefore are I presume suitable, or surely the question would not have occurred to you.
For myself I think the question is fine and I think the answers are too, there is nothing here to corrupt a passing child, if indeed we have any of those on AB,- I think I'm probably the youngest member in fact.

[kvalidir]

We're all attention *** apparently, what can I say?

[Mamyalynne]

I don't think anyone will be harmed by the responses here either, it's a topic that won't suit all.

What is odd is that if someone has a genuine problem in say , bowels or bladder then the jokes start.

Now that is a misuse of the Body & Soul topic.


(Yes, I know we have Health for that but people see this first)

Sorry for butting in, :-)

[Mamyalynne]

Don't know what your starred out word was, but I doubt you're that.

[kvalidir]

I can be when the time is appropriate :) x

[jim360]

Apologies anne if my post earlier was a little too explicit for you -- meant in jest of course but if you like I'll report it for deletion?

[douglas9401]

Some might day that our youngest poster is stringing us along whilst feverishly searching for triggers to get us all of a lather.

It gets wearying after a (short) while, all this worldliness.

[naomi24]

Sick.

[anneasquith]

What a strange / sarcastic post jim, I'm a big girl I'll cope with your rep!y . Interesting point Douglas .

[jim360]

No I meant that last one -- I was being cheeky earlier but wondered if I'd gone too far.

Anyway, reported it regardless.

[Jackdaw33]

For what my twopennorth is worth I think this thread is disgusting and ripe for removal.

[jim360]

Seems to be going a bit far to describe the entire thread as disgusting. It was asked in a respectful way -- it's a serious topic, too, that has recently entered the mainstream given the whole "Fifty Shades" trilogy, although I am sure Rowanwitch would be among the first to point out that the relationship there is closer to abusive than genuine BDSM, which is about exploring boundaries in a trusting relationship.

[kvalidir]

To be honest I didn't start this thread, someone in your age bracket did. On top of that several people in your age bracket also answered discussing the topic, no-one gratuitously, and no-one including me with the intention of 'triggering' anyone. Frankly if you are triggered by things like this then that's your problem.
Already on this site I am careful about what I post about because of the negative remarks of certain users, but hey I'm big girl and you don't have to like me, but if anything is wearing it's the constant passive aggressive nonsense by some posters aimed at other posters.
There is nothing the matter with this thread, if you think there is please report it and then the Ed can sort it out in the morning, but at the moment this feels an awful lot like the last straw for me here, because this is nasty, uncalled for and insulting.

[jim360]

I'd be interested to know what was meant by the "sick" comment, too.

Hope you don't leave, kval, for what it's worth.

[douglas9401]

It's just my impression. Maybe try getting over yourself.

[kvalidir]

Maybe try learning some manners before you open your mouth, maybe try that for a change. What you said was insulting not your 'impression', it was rude, uncalled for and I'm calling you out on it. If you don't like this thread, why are you on it? Why not just ignore it and try 'getting over yourself'?