Chemo

[nailit]

My mums been to the hospital today to discuss the inns and outs of starting her chemo next week.
Out of the blue she said that she wasn't going to have it and was just going to try and enjoy what time she has left without being 'poisoned' with chemicals that could potentially make her ill just for the sake of a few extra months.
We all just assumed that she would have given it a go at least, but we all respect her choice.
But what has surprised me is that they haven't given her (or me and my sisters) any indication of how long she may have left with us? Would have assumed that they would have SOME idea??

[Smowball]

My mum was given weeks and lasted 7 months.

[ummmm]

My nan had breast cancer and dementia, very difficult. She started going down hill about a year later and the doctor thought it was secondary cancer. He left it for us to decide but his advice was not to get her tested as it's quite invasive and she'd be very distressed and confused. She died 3 years later of natural causes. She was 84.

[Patsy33]

I don't blame your Mum one bit, Nailit. Awful thing for her to go through at her time of life. I hope she can get the best pain relief and doesn't suffer too much. x

[marval]

I am sorry to hear this, your Mum has made what she thinks is best for her. I do hope they can help with the pain.

[nailit]

Thank you all for replies.

[Peter Pedant]

// Very often they don't have an idea, cancers are unpredictable and guesswork isn't all that helpful. //

yup agree with that

depends on age - what the primary is - how far it has spread and whether the treatment is intended to cure or delay ( palliative )

I didnt go into remission (2012) after chemo ( long faces ) and did so after further ( salvage treatment ) and then relapsed after a year ( really long faces )
and all that was 36 months ago.

carpe diem baby - live every day as it was your last

[Peter Pedant]

a neighbour with ca colon and liver secondaries opted for nothing and lasted .... 36 months

[tinkerbell23]

Hug from me xx

[vetuste_ennemi]

(A post intended to be sympathetic to both the OP and one of the thread's commentators - himself a cancer sufferer - has been removed. There was a "joke" bit (presumably the reason for the removal) based on "carpe diem", but the new intake of moderators obviously doesn't do ancient forrin'. I would, however, have expected both Nailit and Peter Pedant to have understood my intent.).

My first wife died at the age of thirty-six after a "successful" operation to remove a tumour in her kidney. Her six-month course of chemo at the Royal Marsden (Surrey one) was stopped after three months. Why? Oh, forgot to tell you, the tumour had penetrated the renal artery, was vigorous and had penetrated bone and lung. Thank you, doctor. She died two months later.

This is not an uncommon experience except that I saw my wife rather than, say, a parent die in a bad way.

I do not make light of cancer. Nor of those who suffer from it. Nor of those who observe the suffering.

Cancer is not a single beast and all cases vary. I hope Nailit's mother has a peaceful end.

[anneasquith]

Gosh, 36 years old VE, so young ;*(

[vetuste_ennemi]

The way it is sometimes, Anne.

[anneasquith]

It is .

[rowanwitch]

Dave opted to stop treatment too, but until the last few days pain was not an issue. Your mum does need input from a specialist pain team though. It might be that she needs to come to the Birmingham cancer team for advice.

[bainbrig]

You poor, dear people. How trivial, how trite, are all our problems when faced with such as you have faced.

My dearest friends were all feline, and a kind and gentle veterinary surgeon stopped their suffering.

If only we 'advanced' humans had such help.

Loving-kindness to all who suffer, and to all who must witness their loved-ones suffer.

BB

[anneasquith]

Lovely post, bb .