In denial!

[Betty Boop x]

I've noticed that when I like somebody I constantly deny it, not just to my friends but to myself!

Then I realise that I do like them but i'll more often than not keep it to myself! I'm generally an open person but not when it comes to this.

It's worse if i know i can't get the person because they are already in a relationship.

Think it may be because I'm so scared of getting hurt that I just find it easier to ignore my feelings because if I act on them I'll get hurt.

It really annoys me that I do this though.

Anyone else do the same thing? Or have an explanation for why I do it?

x

[funnywebsite]

It's called lust we all do at some stage. I have often fancied others even when I been in a relationship. I still think of one of my first boyfriends and imagine what it would be like to see him again. You say he is already in a relationship. If you are friends just stay good friends and maybe his relationsip might end one day but best to get on with life. The way our brains work is natural because this is the way we are destined to think to breed to keep the human race going. You cannot change your brain we have evolved over millions of years.

[yellowduck]

I absolutely totally do the same thing. I don't tell my friends cause they always make a big fuss over it (although of course they're just trying to be supportive) which means it's even more of a flop when it doesn't work out. I don't think I deny the fact to myself though I just never tell anyone cause it makes me feel vulnerable to someone else's feelings which if I don't tell anyone are just kept to myself, but if I have told people are totally broadcast, so everyone knows I've been rejected which makes the whole rejection thing even worse. Sometimes I envy how open my friends are about liking guys but I actually kind of like the way I do things, it suits me. I do, of course admit if I think someone is really fit because that doens't automatically involve a whole pile of feelings which then leads to the whole vulnerability thing which I;ve just talked about!

God, that was a very convoluted answer, I've had a long hard day! - hope you can figure it out! x x x

[Betty Boop x]

In a pickle - thank you for your thoughts.

They have definatly made me think about why I do it. Its definatly isnt about "self worth" as i'm confident and have a high self esteem, i think its more to do with the getting hurt factor. I suppose i do it because as soon as i admit i like someone that means i could act on it, then i could get close to them and then all of a sudden its too late and i could get hurt and that scares the hell out of me. I was so unhappy for ages when i last got hurt and i hated feeling like that, im over it now and have my happy personality bk and im bk to being "me" again. I dont want it to happen again though as im happy now.

I agree with your quote though and I have realised I need to risk getting hurt in order to be loved. Although this doesn't get me down and I am happy, it could spiral and get worse (like your friend, who btw i really feel for) so i need to snap out of it.

like you said i can do something about it and I will, next time i like somebody im going to admit it to myself and my close friends, i can't let the fear of being hurt stop me from liking someone. I have realised im trying to protect myself, but i need to take that risk and hope its worth it.

Thank you very much for your thoughts, very thought provoking x

[Betty Boop x]

yellow duck - thank you also for your comment, i fully understood it dont worry. Even though rejection isnt y i deny i like someone im sure for many ppl this it the case as no one likes rejection. Saying this, even though i now no its because i dnt want to get hurt which is why i deny it, i think when it comes to denying i like someone who is already in a relationship its different. After reading ur answer, I think that the reason i deny i like someone who is already taken is because, i know for a fact i will probably be rejected because they already have a gf! So that answers the question of y its worse when someones already taken.

Just read this bk and i hope it makes sense im so tired!

Thank for ur answer, also thought provoking x