Just Need To Talk

[mallyh]

my son has been in prison again, where he got clean again ,he is now living on the street and back on heroine .I can't see any future for him and just waiting for the knock on the door .sorry to bore you with this again but I just want to get it off my chest as it is breaking my heart .

[Zacs-Master]

I empathise, Mally. Have you thought of contacting a support group?
https://adfam.org.uk/

[mallyh]

been there done that ,mr mally talks to me as do the family but its always on our minds x

[dannyk13]

Sorry to hear that he has relapsed Mally.

[andres]

Sorry to hear that he's back on heroin but please don't think that you are boring anyone . Just pour your heart out if it helps you.

[mallyh]

it does help thankyou .x

[Zacs-Master]

Don’t blame yourself, mally. Children grow up in spite of their upbringing. The modern world is hard for some people to cope with.

[Rockrose]

So sorry but you need to know this is not your fault, take a step back it will be hard but you owe it to yourself to look after you. Xx

[mallyh]

he was such a clever and loving person and very good looking until he got into drugs seeing him now is awful x

[jakep]

A dreadful situation for you all.
It is not boring, you have to rant any way you need to. Your thoughts must be with him all the time.
I have no advice but can empathise with you.

[anneasquith]

It’s just so unfair M , to ask you and his family watch him destroy his life in front of your eyes. I know from previous posts how heartbreaking this is for you. Hopefully one day he will get clean and stay clean. I can only send you positive thoughts and a wee prayer if you want. Take care . Anne ,

[mallyh]

I just want to hold him and care for him but I know we can't do it anymore,the son we knew has gone and left a not very nice person x

[andres]

Are there any organisations or people in your area who would give support to the homeless?

[mallyh]

yes his sister spoke to him the other day and he said he gets food ,but she ended up crying.

[Mamyalynne]

It must be one of the hardest things ever to know that despite all your love and care you have given he cannot beat his demons.

You can only console yourself by acknowledging you did all you could.

Take care of you ♥

[mallyh]

thankyou for your replies i've just had a good cry away from mr mally as he gets so upset thinking about our son and seeing me get in a state .

[spathiphyllum]

I feel sorry for you Mallyh.

The only advice i can offer is to not give him money. If he ask's for money, refuse, but offer to buy him food / clothes etc.. or what he needs with the money (unless you don't want to do that either!)

[mallyh]

we aren't giving him any money now, we just can't keep bailing him out .I bought him food for weeks then found out he was selling it .he had loads of clothes but all he has now is a rucksack and sleeping bag x

[Patsy33]

Like someone has already said, life can be very hard for some individuals to cope with. You've done your best, Mallyh. I really feel for you. Who knows, a miracle might happen one day...(( hugs))

[Rosie29]

My heart goes out to you Mally. I can't add anything to what others have said. But never ever feel that you are boring and try to take care of you yourself. X

[KARL]

It is accepted that some people are particularly vulnerable to becoming addicts of substances/chemicals, be they "drugs", alcohol, nicotine, etc. Such people lack sufficient self discipline to halt or even curb their use of whichever stuff it is. Moreover, while some would like to stop their substance abuse yet fail to others actually become defensive/angry when it is suggested that abuse is taking place and their reaction is even worse if they are encouraged to reduce/stop. I have personal experience of this as someone who has been "excommunicated" by an addict (alcohol) who is a close relative.

The simple fact is that it is not possible to do much more than express an opinion and accept the outcome where an adult is involved. Unfortunately for you, drug addiction is far and away the worst case, it can be devastatingly destructive, robbing the user of all judgement other than in connection with how to acquire the next fix. Apparently distinctions between right and wrong can disappear entirely. Society is largely at a loss of how to deal with the threat and the effects following its arrival but some schemes are emerging giving some hope (mostly outside the UK).

In the end it boils down to people being willing to give the lifestyle up. I happen to know someone who finally decided she could not continue such a life - she was a heroin user. She went for rehab (for the nth time) and more than 30 years on she has stayed clean. Crucially, it was her decision - her friends and family had previously tried persuasion and her parents had repeatedly sent her for rehab but she kept lapsing - until that decision. She didn't complete the course that time either but stayed clean nevertheless.

Worryingly, all sorts of calamity can ensue in the course of addiction, such as infection. My friend had Hepatitis C (non-infectious carrier) and recently shed the infection completely with the latest drugs. The most terrifying possibilities are those of overdose and contamination which both are closely related to sellers' greed, incompetence, etc. and the addict's relentlessly furious appetite.

Your concern is entirely understandable but it is important to see things realistically - the situation is almost certainly utterly out of your control. How much help is there in worrying, however natural that is ? The best you can do is hang onto hope.

Hopefully your son will in time emerge from this. He will never be his old self again but remains of himself will be there. My friend has a number of physical and psychological complications resulting from her life of addiction but she is very obviously a good person.