Update to a few weeks ago - boys night out.

[PinkFizz]

Im still shaking as I write this and I don't know what to do.You may remember I wrote about b/f having a night out with lads and staying in hotel,etc and was I being paranoid.Well I have just gone to file his credit card statement,and amongst the mounds of transactions there is the hotel for that night - not the one he said,not where he said,and for the most espensive suite,with a spa etc and now I want to throw up.

[mnko]

hi pinky u should first try and calm down, there may be an simple explanation. u need to get in touch with him and talk 2 him ask him where did he stop? see if he admits he stopped somewhere else? and ask him straight out. was there anyone else in the room with him? i hope he hasnt been a naughty boy. good luck and thinking of you. here's some cola cubes just for you

http://www.sweetthoughts.co.uk/acatalog/cola-c ubes-sweets.gif

[redcrx]

you mean he left the bill lying around for you to find?

What are you gonna do?

[PinkFizz]

i cant stop crying!! he has so many credit cards he wouldnt have rememberd which one it was on.He told me he stayed in the travelodge in town with 3 other mates so they could walk to the pub.Well this hotel,actually its a manor house is in the countryside outside town,he paid almost �100 just for the room and I feel physically sick.

[China Doll]

Awww honey, try not to jump to conclusions, there could be an explanation for this. It doesn't seem right to me that he'd leave something lying around that you could find if he'd been up to anything tho I do admit it doesn't look brilliant.

Deep breath babes... you do need to talk to him and ask him straight out what's going on but try and do it calmly and without shouting. Is there any way he'll be home from work early? Are you able to talk tonight? Perhaps it might be good to go out in a public place so that the conversation doesn't descend in to a slagging match and remains calm?

[Wee Kaz]

The best thing to do is confront him but do it calmly. If you go all angry on him he'll use that against you and will think you don't trust him. It's perfectly normal to feel worried about this as he's told you he's stayed in one hotel but has stayed in another. As I said, gather your thoughts, calm down and think rationally about how and what you are going to say to him. I dare say if his statement is lying around the house then it would tell me that he's either very stupid as if he is hiding something he most definitely will stir your suspicions and give himself agro when he could have hid it away or the other side is that he has nothing to hid so isn't fussed if it's lying around in the first place. You know him better than anyone else, what's your gut telling you? Have you had suspicions that he's cheating on you before? Chin up hun x

[redcrx]

awww hun.
as mnko has said, you do need to give him chance to explain himself before we all start on the 'men, men bloody men' rant (which we will if hes been so dumb as to stray)
Give him a call, or if you are too upset text him and say youve found a receipt but cant see why its is his bills

[PinkFizz]

im not wrong!! he was in enought trouble that day remember,when last se he said they had changed hotel and where they were going to eat.He told me he stayed in a traveloge for �45 and walked 2 pub.Well where he stayed is a romantic luxury hotel!!!!

[nat_84]

awww pinkfizz,

Is this the first time u have ever expected anything?

Do u usually trust him??

Any other signs??

I'd just be upfront with him, calm down first and sort yourself out first, have a bath, cup of tea etc.... then ask him casusally without making a big deal out of it. Just ask him "where did u stay again the other night? Was it nice? Good time??" If he continues to lie then just say you've seen his credit card statement.....

Good luck... hope its not what u think!! xxx

[stylinsam]

babes hope u r ok. just dont do anything hasty until you have asked about the situation! love ya x

[Wee Kaz]

Pink, I've not read the other post, can you send me a link so I can see the background please? cheers x

[PinkFizz]

type "trying to keep calm..." into the seach bit.

[mnko]

group hugzzz for pinky


(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((0))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[PinkFizz]

I cant talk to him as at 2 pm Im meant to be collecting his daughter to stay for the weekend and as she only comes over one a fortnight he wont appreciate me asking him questions.

Either way,he lied over where he stayed ,what he did,how much it cost.......

[mnko]

(((((((((000000000)))))))))))

[PinkFizz]

thanks mkno.I just dont know what to do - he is one of those people who you just cant ask things without always being made to feel you shouldnt have asked - I cant explain it.

[China Doll]

Ok Pink, I do accept what you say about the daughter coming over, is there any way that you can go stay with a friend over the weekend until she's gone. Just so you're not constantly walking on egg shells around him bursting to ask him. Then when she's gone, come back and try and talk to him.

You are going to have to say something babe even if he is hard to question, you'll lose your sanity otherwise!

[PinkFizz]

I also have my teenage son who lives with his dad coming over so I have no choice but to play happy families all weekend.I just cant deal with this at the mo.

[Oh Bother]

Awww Pink, You must be feeling like you've been kicked in the guts, You have to talk to him, if you don't the atmosphere will be awful anyway.
Could he have used his card to pay for one of his mates who is messing around, to cover his mates tracks, long shot I know, but there still could be a perfectly reasonable reason.
But, you won't know till you ask.
I'll be think of you. xxx

[Eric Git]

Hi Pink,

Stay calm I know that easy for us to say, but perhaps as it was a suite the boys decided to club together and he just paid for it with his card, and they paid him their share with cash. Most of hotels these days need credit cards to secure rooms and to secure against any damage. Perhaps they wanted a different night out, a bit of pampering and luxury? How many blokes do you know would admit that they wanted that for their night out? If there were no signs of infidelity before then don't look for it now, you know the saying, give a dog a bad name and it will stick.

If he left his statement lying around, he is hardly trying to hide anything, if he is, then he is very stupid. Put it to the back of your mind, and when he comes in later, just ask him what the hotel was like, and that you're thinking of booking a weekend there for the two of you, as a break. If there was anything untoward then he'll squirm and avoid the subject or suggest somewhere else. Take it with a smile and then max his card out for him.

I'm thinking of you and I'm sure everything will be fine.

[atolhurst]

Right, all sorts is going to be going through your mind so maybe you need to broach the subject now in the hope that something might be (even minutely appeased).

I appreciate you're picking his daughter up and of course, it would be unfair to catch her in the cross fire here but you need to talk about this before the weekend is over. As you say, you can't play happy families.

I would ring him now and ask him to come home (personal crisis - company's allow for that). Or if he can't really do that, to call you. You need to ask him about it before your teenage son and his daughter turn up.