Update to a few weeks ago - boys night out.

[PinkFizz]

Im still shaking as I write this and I don't know what to do.You may remember I wrote about b/f having a night out with lads and staying in hotel,etc and was I being paranoid.Well I have just gone to file his credit card statement,and amongst the mounds of transactions there is the hotel for that night - not the one he said,not where he said,and for the most espensive suite,with a spa etc and now I want to throw up.

[noxlumos]

Hello Pink, Can I suggest that you check ALL of his CC statements for the day he was supposed to be staying at the Travel Lodge as there are 101 innocent explainations for him having paid for a luxury room on his credit card and we are all assuming from this that HE stayed in it when of course it's perfectly possible that he paid for the room for someone else for some reason ( friend who didn't have a card to make a phone booking etc). Before you "confront" him , you need to be very sure of exactly what has occured as I can think of lots of cc transaction that could look very dodgy to my wife if she chose to take them that way. Are you able to get in touch with any of his friends or their wives and girlfriends to see if his initial story tallies with what he said to you? I think you need to talk to him sooner rather than later as otherwise this will drive you mad the whole time his daughter is there etc, so call him and see if he can't come home to sort it all out. If he has been up to no good then you need to be very clear in your mind where that leaves him with you before you speak to him, as I know how upsetting things like that are, so try and get yourself in a good place mentally and upset as you are, give him the benefit of the doubt until it's proved otherwise.Love to you and stay strong.

[PinkFizz]

thankyou all - I know I probably seem like an over-reacting female,but he is the love of my life and I couldn't bare it if things went wrong.xx

[PinkFizz]

*bear lol

[atolhurst]

I personally wouldn't and couldn't wait to speak to him about it, if I were in your shoes Pink. But everyone is different.

I'm not sure what excuses there are that he could possibly come up with that you wouldn't be able to distinguish between total b*ll*cks and the truth.

you say "going through your statement. you didn't stay @ a travelodge according to your records. you stayed at X, in a rather extravagent suite. What were you doing there and why have you lied to me about this"

he says "blah blah blah".

[mnko]

could he have paid for his night at the travel lodge with cash and someone else that was playing away asked him to pay with his credit card so his wife wouldnt find out and the cheating bloke gave ur man cash? maybe ur man thought if he did this he would be "one of the boys".

[PinkFizz]

its possible that he used his card for a guy at work......as he was new he might have felt obliged???? possibly??

[mnko]

has there evr been any other "dodgy" transactions? u know like around the same time?

[PinkFizz]

no,not a thing.Maybe I have got all this wrong........

[mnko]

how old is ur guy? is he a manager? apart from this have u ever suspected him of cheating?

[ali_alic]

He could have used it for someone else and just took cash off the chap - but is there a cc transaction for his travel lodge?? It is too much of a coincidence to let it lie. I found a receipt for a gold bracelet in the love of my lifes pocket, got all excited thinking it was for me. Needless to say it wasn't but I still kept schtum. Wish I hadn't cos it all went pear shaped anyway. If he's cheating on you then the relationship is doomed anyway (as if he gets away with it once, he may well do it again) and if he's innocent then all this mistrust, uncertainty etc that you are feeling now won't do your relationship much good. You are between a rock and a hard place. Just ask him straight, with accusing, and see what he says!!

[whiffey]

PF, hopefully there is an innocent explanation here, think very hard for one.

You say he asks you to file his cc statements ? In which case surely he would know and expect you to come across this entry.

Also, the text message about road works. That is either true or a macabre touch.

Sorry about the sickness, there is absolutely no other feeling quite like it.

[caz21]

Is there any statements on the bill for the rest of the night out? his movements etc.? If it is a mistake and someone else used the room would he have told you this before hand?

"fred used my virgin card so he could sneak off with sally from accounts, he's paid me cash for it though"

[atolhurst]

could you not ask the hotel the name of the person who checked in?

I agree with caz that it's plausible but I'd have thought even if your other half did pay for it, that fred in accounts would still have used his own name when checking in.

Either way, if this was the case, as you have to check statements for your business reasons, I'd have thought he would have told you about what fred in accounts was doing so you knew when you saw the transaction what it would have been for.

[Suzyboo]

You are looking for people to come up with plausible excuses so you can let him off the hook again. There isn't anything that can help until you can talk to him about his reasons for lying and decide exactly how much he is trying to conceal.

[PinkFizz]

going to speak to him in 10 mins.x

[atolhurst]

Let us know how it goes Pink (right now I want to kill him).

[Suzyboo]

Good luck - try to stay calm!

[caz21]

Good luck hun, we are all thinking about you! xx

[Reenie29]

Good luck and hope it all works out okay.

[PinkFizz]

Just called the b/f.Said I was filing statements as usual and there is a transaction for a hotel that I didnt think he's stayed at.He said there cant be as he def stayed at one he told me,and will look at bill when he gets home.