Why my man thinks hes' a man...

[Champagne]

1. OPENING JARS - I'm struggling. This is where he comes to the rescue.

2. ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE - And all his mates cheer him. It doesn't mean he's popular, it just means his mates are pi$$ed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.

3. DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table and 'sculling' two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out whilst I'm still sitting there with a full glass of wine. He's hard.

4. HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - Especially every day to make him doubley-hard.

5. HE'S GOT A SCAR ON HIS FACE FROM A FIGHT

[Champagne]

6. CALLING POLICEMEN 'GAVVERS'

7. NOT WATCHING HIS WEIGHT - Fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

8. OGLING - Blatantly ogling other womens breasts in front of his girlfriend and then saying, "Oooh, the puppies are out to play today!"

9. MONEY - Never having less than �500 cash in his wallet.

10. CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially gavvers, but even saying it to kids makes him the man.

11. DRIVING LIKE A COURIER - He is one, but does it mean he has to drive like one when not in the van?

12. HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH HIM - It's not a hangover, it's man flu. And I should always be aware that there is a history of heart attacks in his family.

13. TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - A visual code that says that's "right, I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized poo."

14. ANSWERING HIS MOBILE � with either �Oi oi!� or �Alright son?!�. Then leaving the room so I�m out of hearing range. This definitely makes him the man.

15. FEELING HORNY � Waking up every day with morning glory and insisting that I give him �a noshing�. Nice.

My life has never been so fulfilled. :o)
Am I the only one with a man like this?

[Pippa68]

Going down the bottom of the garden and poking a bonfire with a big stick ~ that is 'manly'.

And barbecues ~ they always have to cook, even though his wife/partner has prepared it all.

Burping the alphabet ~ or is that just Mr P?

[PinkFizz]

Champers - just nearly spat tea all over my keyboard at number 15!! He sounds a real catch!! : )

[PinkFizz]

Walking round town in a short sleeved shirt - in December - with goosebumps the size of grapes - but apparently it isn't cold!!

[China Doll]

lfao!!!!!

[Champagne]

I know pink. If only I were making it up... :o}

[China Doll]

Thank God I'm single! Lol!!! Champers m'dear, I'm having problems following a coversation, you couldn't pop on to the c0ck ring thread and help me out could you please?!

And I'd just like to say in my glory days that I could burp the words 'bart simpson' and 'Luke Skywalker' .... Mental note, 'get more female friends'

[PinkFizz]

Ive put China out of her misery!

[China Doll]

Someone really should...

Sorry for the hijack Champers xx

[natalie_1982]

Champers, are you sure that's not my hubby you're talking about?

Ok, this sounds ungrateful now.... but when we go food shopping, or any shopping for that matter, he insists on carrying all of the bags. I'm not an invalid, I am completely capable of carrying bags also, but he thinks it's so manly to let the little lady totter about looking at pretty things while he strides ahead with all the bags. It p*sses me right off, and I make a point of grabbing the heavist bag possible and struggling to the car to prove a point. Ha! That really shows him.....

[natalie_1982]

Oh, and I am not supposed to cut his sandwiches in half for work because it makes them "girly", and "man's" sandwiches should be preferably uncut, but if they have to be cut it is in half to make to rectangles, not triangles (i.e. not a diagonal cut).

[Miss Inquiry]

Champagne you lucky lady you!!

I have noticed you have omitted the real man giveaway -FOOTBALL!!!

[dot.hawkes]

ringing up asking me to buy some dry wall nails and when you ask 'where do i get them'? from he says 'from the dry wall nail shop'. That logic applies to everything he ever wants to buy.

[China Doll]

<sneaks in looking sheepish>

Ahem... Ladies, I'm lost again... couldn't pop back again could you... sorry xx

[PinkFizz]

Or if I have the silliest cut,or teeny burn from the iron and Im quite ok getting the first aid box out,but he rolls his eyes, says "Oh,come here I'LL sort it !!" as though he is a senior medic on Casualty!!

[cascarelli]

Yeah, but what would you do without us eh?

[China Doll]

We'd never be able to open jars again and pasta would forever have no sauce and toast would not have jam ;0P

[natalie_1982]

We'd spend less time doing housework.

[PinkFizz]

Awwww,we love em really!!

[cascarelli]

moan, moan, moan.......