If you were in love with your best friend, would you....

[maximo]

1. Tell them, and risk losing them when they tell you they don't feel the same way (because that's always an option.) 2. Not say anything,because you're afraid of losing them completely, and put down the past 6 months of celibacy as "a novel experience" which, of course, has nothing to do with the fact you can't think of getting close to, never mind having sex with, anyone else but them.
3. Go out and get very drunk.

This, obviously, is an entirely hypothetical question. I'm doing research on human behaviour, you see. Answers welcome. Ta.

[devilwoman]

depends wether friend is opposite or same sex as you.

[spurslady]

I'd get very drunk and try and seduce him that way. So if I was rebuffed I could say the next day 'How drunk was I last night, I cant remember a thing I said or did' to cover my tracks..

This is also hypothetical as I have a lovely bloke already who is my best friend awwwwww...

[maximo]

Opposite sex, Devilwoman! I'm female, he's male. ;-)

[maximo]

Oh ******, I think I've just blown my "research experiment" cover there...d'oh! lol

[Hellion]

I met Mr Hellion when I employed his then girlfriend and became friendly with them both, I moved away and went out with someone for 4 years, when we split up I came back and Mr Hellion, who by then was also single, and I used to go out together and just hang as good mates after 2 years of this we realised that neither of us was actually looking for girlfriend/boyfriend. By this time we had 7 years of a really good friendship behind us and we knew that taking the relationship further was a really big risk. After a couple of false starts we decided to go for it and we've now been together for 19 years.

Hypothetically I think you should risk it Maximo - friendship is actually a really good basis for a relationship - there's always a risk with any relationship or friendship so actually you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Go for It!

[devilwoman]

well maximo, best friends tell each other everything, if your friendship is so strong then he can grin and bear it, maybe its a crush and will go away of its own accord, tell him and see what he says. if he loves you as a dear friend he could introduce you to some of his friends, he will know who is suitable and would treat you right. go for it , i say , honesty is the best policy.

[maximo]

Ah but Hellion, you must have known how he felt about you by then? I know that he likes me a lot, but he keeps (well, sometimes does..) telling me about that or other gorgeous sexy girl he's seen at the pub...Obviously, I have a few theories, beng a girl and all, you can't help it...lol
1. He knows I like him more than a friend should,doesn't feel the same way, and just ignores it because he doesn't want to lose me as a friend - and that's why he talks about other women...a sort of "message" he wants to get across.
2. He doesnt know, and considers me as a mate, whom he can tell everything.
3. He does feel the same way, and is as lost as me in that stupid game we're playing....

PS: Aaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhhhhhhh....!!!

[maximo]

It's not a crush, Devilwoman. I've loved him from the first time I met him, and I love him more each day. I love him as a friend, and I'm in love with him too. :-(

[Hellion]

Maximo I knew he liked me but not 'how' he liked me, as a friend or a possible girlfriend, he too used to eye up girls in the pub and comment on how attractive they were (the clue here is he still does....he's a man lol!) but that can sometimes be just a ruse to try and make you a bit jealous!
Like you I wasn't totally certain how he would react. Eventually I was going to USA for a month and decided what the hell, I just came out with it and said 'by the way if the plane crashes and I don't come back I just want you to know "I love you" ' I must admit I then ran away for a month but he got the message. Don't be suprised if he doesn't say much when you tell him, he might say 'oh thank god I thought it was just me!' or you may take him by suprise. He too may want to evaluate what he has to gain and lose so you may not hear from him for a day or two.

I would say ' Look I have something I want to say, I don't expect an answer straight away and if you decide it's not what you want then I'm happy to carry on as we have been, but I don't feel I'm being honest not telling you how I feel about you I appreciate you may not feel the same way and if you don't I don't want anything to change between us.'

That way he has a get out if it isn't how he feels about you and you can carry on as you are (although I'm not saying that will be totally easy on your part with a bit of effort you can do it).

He hasn't actually gone out with anyone else in the last 6 months has he? I suspect he may feel exactly as you do and just like you doesn't know where to start. It works both ways, if he makes a move on you, you could run too!

Let us know how you get on

XX

[bobtheturkey]

i had a relationship with my best friend it didnt work at all which we should have known but luckily we are still friends

[bobtheturkey]

and yes it was a female :)

[maximo]

Thanks Devilwoman, I'll take that on board. I'm really not sure how it's gonna end up, because one, I'm very insecure and two, I'm a flippin coward! lol but it's gonna have to end either way....:-S

Bob, I'm surprised at your answer...never thought you'd show a "serious" side on here...:-) x But now I'm curious...it wasn't Dot, was it? .....

[bobtheturkey]

noo this was long before i knew dorothy maximo :)

[maximo]

Oh it was, wasn't it? :-)

Ps: you might be a weirdo, but you can be nice sometimes. Cultivate that side of you, and I'm sure you'll find a replacement for poor Brenda soon.

Ps2: you cutie!

Ps3: :-P

[bobtheturkey]

oh a cute weirdo then :)

[maximo]

Well, you've got cute pixels, that's all I can say...never saw you for real, but I'm sure you wouldn't be so "sure" of yourself if you were a 60 year old balding truk driver with a fetish for smelly feet.

Ha.

[bobtheturkey]

oh well i put my msn addy on here several nights ago :)

[-Zorro-]

shall the rest of us leave you 2 alone on this thread.

ahhh the darts has started

[maximo]

Haven't got it. I must have been blind drunk again...

[bobtheturkey]

top place that citywest zorro the female natives are lovely :)