No sex drive

[curly~sue]

Hello!

I wonder if this is a common problem? For as long as I can remember I have had no or a very poor sex drive. Lately I have been thinking it may be because I am on the pill. It is not like I ever noticed a change in my drive as I've been on the pill since I was 15, could this be the cause do you thnk ? I don't really want to try the contraceptive injection as I like the reassurance my period brings.

The last time I was single, I went for months without any sexual contact and I wasn't bothered one bit. That can't be right can it ? Very occasionally I'll get the odd stirring and I do enjoy sex, but to be frank if someone said I could never have it again I don't think I would care. Does anyone or has anyone ever felt like this ? I don't feel normal! :-(

[leelapops]

Hiya curly~sue. Thank the Lord I am not the only one! I could honestly do without sex for the rest of my life! Needs must, I suppose (my partner's needs, not mine!) but I can happily go to bed with a good book and be just as satisfied!

I have been on the pill since I was 16, when I coincidentally started having sex! I used to have problems letting anything inside me, so I am not sure if my lack of interest is psychological. I find my partner very attractive, and our sex is great, but if he told me he didn't want to do it any more, then I would get over it pretty quickly!
I prefer the pill, as it gives that regularity, and I don't like to think my body is messed up (my friend has the implant and her last period was 8 weeks long!) Not sure what to suggest really.

Don't feel like you're not normal hun, everyone is different, and much like you, I could do without it happily. Each to their own, don't ever feel like you HAVE to either.

x

[tiny e.a]

I have no doubt that you are normal. I go through phases and mostly have a fairly high sex drive but there are long periods of time when I'm just not @rsed at all. I know that alot of my friends feel very much the same as you do on a permanant basis though.

I'm not really sure if the pill could cause it, perhaps ask your doctor, but perhaps you are just someone who naturally isn't to bothered about it? If that's the case then it's really not a problem as long as you are happy with it!

[redcrx]

when i went on the pill i noticed the difference almost straight away. Sadly I never seem to have got it back lol

[nannon]

god its good to these these just for reassurance sometimes!! I used to have a REALLY high sex drive - total nymph but over past couple of months i just cannot be bothered with it all! I wonder if its something to do with the pill - have been on mine since i was 14 ish to help with my periods bt as i never take a seven day break i wonder if it could be doing something strange to me!!! At least there's a few of us!! Thought it was just me!!

[tiny e.a]

Does the pill really have that affect?! that's a bit of a b@stard, if you weren't interested anyway you wouldn't need to go on the pill, but you are interested so you do go on the pill which makes you uninterested.... Jeesh!

[curly~sue]

It is very reassuring to know I'm not the only one that feels this way! I don't care, as I say, to be honest whether I ever 'get it' again but my partner has a very sex drive and because he works away a lot I feel pestered when he comes home. I know he can't help his desire as I can't help the lack of mine but I feel like he thinks I don't make the effort, unlike his previous partners. Does that make sense ?

[legend758duo]

maybe its a woman thing.
but i seem more interested than i am able to get.
perhaps if you can get it you get that youre not bothered.

if i nevr got it again id be disappointed .

just seems i will never get it lol

[leelapops]

curly, it absolutely does!

My partner works nights, so we also have to be creative with fitting it in. He is twice my age and has about ten times my sex drive! So it can be difficult sometimes. He knows that I try, but I do feel bad sometimes. It's not tht I don't want HIM, I just don't want IT!

x

[curly~sue]

That's exactly it leelapops! He gets huffy if when he arrives home after a few days away, I'm not all over him. I hate feeling like I have to do it, although I know I don't, because I feel I might ended up resenting him for it.

[nannon]

i know what you mean curly~sue! My bloke i only see at weekends - i feel almost pressured into knowing i have to have sex cuz he'll want it and that puts me off even more!! I thinik he was geting a bit annoyed but i got upset one night and told him it felt like i had lost my sex drive and he understood. I have been quite ill recenly so i think it was maybe tiredness and stres as well - could it be the same for you maybe??

[leelapops]

legend, that just wasn't a constructive input!

nannon, I have been flipping knackered recently, which doesn't help! AQnd he has just come off a stint of working 7 nights a week for 4 weeks, but to be fair I am always abnormally tired (possibly a legacy of glandular fever), so it takes extra effort!

curly, it can feel awful saying no, can't it! It feels like your knocking his own confidence as well as yours. It's so easy to say sex isn't everything, but it can become a *ahem* bone of contention if problems aren't dealt with. Have you talked to your partner? Thought about trying something new and different? (Like him bringing you a brew and letting you go to sleep!) Seriously though, maybe some time exploring each other's bodies without the pressure of ending with sex might make you feel more excited, and relaxed about the whole thing.

x

[leelapops]

PS nannon, I hope you are feeling better :) x

[nannon]

Leelapops - thats what i had - glandular fever and have been so tired ever since - its a bloody nightmare!! By the time he gets here o a Friday night i just want to curl up with him and fall asleep! he has a REALLY high sex drive as well bless him.
i am feeling bit better thanks - give me 10 minutes and i'll either be screamingat someone or crying over nothing! lol!!!
xxx

[leelapops]

oh nannon, love, poor you. I had it 7 years ago, before my GCSEs, and it really knocked me for six! Take lots of time to rest, hun, and don't let him pressurise you!
Isn't snuggling so much nicer than sex?!

x

[Skreecheeboy]

No it isn't! You just need to find somebody that knows how to satisfy a lady. Get off the pill if it gives you these side effects! The pill is the worst invention ever made and the consequencies of taking it are going to destroy the next generation, it's already begun, just read the paper about how terrible the younger generations are, and it's causing fish to mutate abnormally, won't be long before we're next.

[nic2006]

Skreechboy - unless you have something constructive to say probably best you dont speak

[missrandom]

i am not on the pill and like you say i could merrily never have sex again, much prefer a good book and a warm bed! my husband takes it personally and thinks i dont like him.

[Skreecheeboy]

Excuse me but I've just given some constructive advice. I think the pill is wrong, these side effects that you are all discussing confirm my fears, why take the chance? You are messing about with your hormones, how can you possibly think that by doing so you're not going to encounter problems? If you don't want to take my advice then don't but if you post questions on a public forum you should expect to get answers that surprise you. I happen to think that as there are safer methods of contraception available that don't have any side effects and I suggested using them. Just because you might believe that the pill is a revolutionary advancement in medical science that is a wonder cure for stopping pregnancy and has been tried ad tested and prooved to be safe, doesn't mean that you might be wrong and that the real test of time is still ongoing however the pharmaceutical companys that sell it now hold too much power and have payrolled scientific bigwigs to approve them, doesn't mean that, like the humanitarian disaster that is climate change, these doubters can't in this example yet again let everybody down. Why risk it babe?