Body & Soul1 min ago
lapdancing clubs
85 Answers
My partner is going on a stag weekend to Bournemouth. I On both nights he is going to lapdancing clubs. This doesn't sit well with me and I think most of those clubs are totally naked now. I can't help not liking the thought of him sitting there while naked girls gyrate around him. I have told him I am not happy about it but he says that as he wants to go he will, regardless of my feelings.
Are the women right with me on this one?
Are the women right with me on this one?
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Get out of the relationship.
I've just done exactly the same as you, spent thousands (and I really mean thousands) of pounds on my soon to be ex husband, trying to keep him and us afloat whilst he lounged about all day and drove a Mitsubishi Warrior (56plate) which costs �700 per month, whilst I had to get on the train to work every day and walk up to the stables to see my horse. I paid all the bills and the mortgage whilst he sat in the pub all day and drank �30+ of beer.
Get out. Get out. Get out.
I've just done exactly the same as you, spent thousands (and I really mean thousands) of pounds on my soon to be ex husband, trying to keep him and us afloat whilst he lounged about all day and drove a Mitsubishi Warrior (56plate) which costs �700 per month, whilst I had to get on the train to work every day and walk up to the stables to see my horse. I paid all the bills and the mortgage whilst he sat in the pub all day and drank �30+ of beer.
Get out. Get out. Get out.
Well he owes me between �20k- �40k but plans to pay me back �20k which I would be happy with. He will hopefully be able to find me some money in a few months and I'm going to hold out til then as at the moment I cannot afford to live alone.
888sally - how much did he owe you
cheries - are you still living with him, if not, how did you copy financially. Maybe you still had money left. I do not, mine is all gone.
888sally - how much did he owe you
cheries - are you still living with him, if not, how did you copy financially. Maybe you still had money left. I do not, mine is all gone.
Liquid I had to sell my first house (which i owned on my own) to pay for his debts. I've got nothing left, and I've had to move back in with my parents to recover financially. Incidentally, he also ran up a �9000 credit card bill in my Dad's name and "borrowed" �15000 from my Dad, which we've had to psychologically write off.
He is ex-special forces and had a lot of issues surrounding things that he had to do when he was on active service, so I was very lenient with him for the first two years and left him to try to recover emotionally.
After the third year things started to get me down and I asked him to go and get an ordinary job. He said no, and changed the locks to the house one day whilst I was at work.
So I left him and am suing him for half of the value of our joint owned house.
You're not alone liquid. xxxxxxx
He is ex-special forces and had a lot of issues surrounding things that he had to do when he was on active service, so I was very lenient with him for the first two years and left him to try to recover emotionally.
After the third year things started to get me down and I asked him to go and get an ordinary job. He said no, and changed the locks to the house one day whilst I was at work.
So I left him and am suing him for half of the value of our joint owned house.
You're not alone liquid. xxxxxxx
Good for you Cheries, you sound a bit like me, too nice for my own good, giving people the benefit of the doubt etc.
That's the bit I struggle with, trying to make it right in my head, losing such a lot of money (I initially had 70k). Its hard to accept something that you know you cant change and just have to live with.
Good luck with that, guess you are in a strong position to succeed.
That's the bit I struggle with, trying to make it right in my head, losing such a lot of money (I initially had 70k). Its hard to accept something that you know you cant change and just have to live with.
Good luck with that, guess you are in a strong position to succeed.
And the reason I originally posted on here for you is that whilst I was at University, I had to take a job as a lapdancer to support myself financially, because I got no grant and I lived in Norway for a year (one of the most expensive places to live in the world)
I understand your fears about the lapdancing thing, really I do, but the point i was trying to make was that there's no real allure to dancers because everything's so mechanical to them.
But that's not the real issue here, is it? The real issue is that he's got no respect for you.
I understand your fears about the lapdancing thing, really I do, but the point i was trying to make was that there's no real allure to dancers because everything's so mechanical to them.
But that's not the real issue here, is it? The real issue is that he's got no respect for you.
Yeah for me, it's not what the lapdancers are thinking, I get that bit, it's what my bf is thinking while he's watching them and after as well. To a man, there must be nothing more exciting than a naked shiny writhing female right in front of him. Anyway, I think I take the point that I must go with the flow..thanks.
I can understand women doing jobs like that (even prostitution to a certain extent) because when you are desperate you are capable of anything.
I can understand women doing jobs like that (even prostitution to a certain extent) because when you are desperate you are capable of anything.
Liquid, I hope you can find a way out of this. Really I do. I've had to come back to square one to be able to get my life back on track. I don't regret it for a moment. I feel like a massive weight has been lifted from my shoulders, even though I've still got lots of debts to pay off as a result of him not working.
Do you honestly see him paying you anything back? Or can you be brave enough to cut your losses and start afresh?
The longer you stay in this relationship, the harder it will be to break free.
Do you honestly see him paying you anything back? Or can you be brave enough to cut your losses and start afresh?
The longer you stay in this relationship, the harder it will be to break free.
Yes I do believe he will pay me SOME back, he does have morals and a conscience and wants to be rid of me basically and to make it ok in his mind he will pay me something. Also, I literally cannot afford to move elsewhere at the moment as I have nothing. Thanks for your support.
Do u still live with your husband?
Do u still live with your husband?
Hi 4GS
It's difficult for him though because not only did he serve with this particular branch of the special forces but after he left he went to work in Iraq as a bodyguard with Armorgroup. So it's like from the frying pan into the fire. And he is totally defined by the army and his career as a mercenary. Totally. He wears Para reg t shirts and SAS t shirts (even though he's not in there anymore) and all he ever does is talk about the work which he's now too afraid to do.
Sorry liquid. Hijacking your thread. xxxxx
It's difficult for him though because not only did he serve with this particular branch of the special forces but after he left he went to work in Iraq as a bodyguard with Armorgroup. So it's like from the frying pan into the fire. And he is totally defined by the army and his career as a mercenary. Totally. He wears Para reg t shirts and SAS t shirts (even though he's not in there anymore) and all he ever does is talk about the work which he's now too afraid to do.
Sorry liquid. Hijacking your thread. xxxxx
The problem is not the lapdancing club.
The problem appears to be that you're in a relationship that you're unhappy in and where there's more baggage than Gatwick airport.
Get out. You're not happy, he doesn't sound happy. As I said to cheries earlier, there's no problem in this life that you can't make worse by dwelling and wondering about it.
Money's horrid, we've all lost money in relationships but you deserve to be happy. And right now you're not.
(That what you meant Sasha?)
The problem appears to be that you're in a relationship that you're unhappy in and where there's more baggage than Gatwick airport.
Get out. You're not happy, he doesn't sound happy. As I said to cheries earlier, there's no problem in this life that you can't make worse by dwelling and wondering about it.
Money's horrid, we've all lost money in relationships but you deserve to be happy. And right now you're not.
(That what you meant Sasha?)
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