really upset

[bubbles4920]

im really upset as some of my so called friends havent remembered my birthday on time. we now live abroad, surely i should matter more to them now that im miles away. an ecard sent when its too late to send a card and not emailed on the day anyway is one example and another so called good friend just sent a text on the day before. sometimes i think i am too soft as i always try and think of my friends and so plan ahead. another really good friend sent a card with the postmark about a week later. ive been crying on and off since monday and was in a low mood last week. maybe i just have different standards to them. its not that im bothered about not receiving cards on time, at least they were posted before my birthday. tell me, how should i be feeling and should i say anything? i feel like having a real go at the moment so they know how i feel!

[Ice.Maiden]

Oh come on bubbles - just say a big thank you to those who remembered - and jokingly remind them to get the day right next time!! I don't know how old you are, but it sounds a bit childish to want to have a "go" at anyone. I bet once you've settled in properly wherever you are, and made lots of new friends, you'll soon forget about a few of those you've left behind. Hope your birthday went well, anyway - x

[TheDr-UK]

You live abroad, it was a choice you made not your friends, they have made an effort to send you cards, be they real or electronic, just because you have your life planned around who gets sent what when doesn't mean they do the same. If their values said that each of their friends calls round for coffe morning every Monday, would you ? Of course you wouldn't, and living in a different country is a good excuse, but, it's an excuse that you created. You have friends, they have sent you cards, or texts, sometimes we remember things too late, and knowing , or not knowing, how long International mail takes they used another method, who is to say that in 50 years time we'll have birthday "cards" think of the waste, the trees, the manufacturing, the pollution getting it to the shop, you getting it home, the mail delivering it.... You just wanted loads of cards to show your neighbours how popular you were, and still are, back at home, to your friends the e-cards, the calls and the texts were that.

[annie0000]

Only you know how you feel, but is it really that big a deal - half the time I don't remember my own birthday never mind anyone elses - as far as I am concerned, birthdays are for kids and they should be special when you are young, but now I couldn't give a toss and I guess I expect that a lot of people feel the same way. I see though, that for you it is still something special, but maybe as your friends get older, it is not still a big deal to them. That doesn't necessarily mean that they dont care.

How old are you?

[bubbles4920]

might have known that some of you woulnt take me seriously, doesnt being in tears and being very low,even contemplating taking tablets constitute enough for you. i obviously can see who does really care about me and i have been soft enough in the past to remember certain so called friends for it not to be reciprocated. no, i dont want my neighbours to see how popular i am, what neighbours, ever thought back a step about that one?! i dont think theres any excuse for forgetting me, i did say that some cards were posted before my birthday and arrived after it, i understand that as postage can be unreliable but imm afraid i cannot forgive ecards cos it was too late to post a card or receiving a text, its a cop out in my book. im not being childish, i have real values about friendship and always put myself before others, but not anymore!!

[~max~]

You want an example of REALLY upsetting behaviour? Ok.
My dad, whom I hadn't seen for years sent me a card on my 20th birthday. Only problem was it said "Happy 21st".

Are you feeling better now? Well, are you?

[sir.prize]

Not such a cleversod. OK, you. are probably at home amongst family and friends. Show a little compassion and stop being so bombastic and over-reactive - and indeed abuse (it's against the rules you know). bubbles obviously has feelings - maybe you do not.

[Ice.Maiden]

Sounds like you're really missing everyone bubbles. Say a big thanks to those who DID remember you, and drop those who didn't, a line. Perhaps they're unaware of how this's effected you. Have you all got webcams? Seeing your pals "in the flesh" might help you to feel better. Also bear in mind that wherever you are in the world, it's little more than a few hours from home as you knew it, so hopefully you'll be able to visit your pals now and again, and I bet they'd jump at the chance of coming over on holiday to see you - x.

[figure]

Happy belated birthday Bubbles!

If your friends not remembering your birthday is such a huge problem to you, what would you do, and what would happen if/when you encounter a real serious problem?

[Lucy Thomas]

Puhleeeeeeze.

[bubbles4920]

thanks to everyone who has shown compassion and empathy, maybe im starting to feel homesick as weve been here nearly 6 months now but then again i would go back, maybe im just confused who knows. whatever the situation, yes ive been though devastating circumstances but everything is relative so nothing should be too small to cry over if it upsets you. also yes i did feel like i was being bullied so thank you for your defence, maybe some people just havent got a heart.

[bubbles4920]

thanks lucy thomas for that, you obviously have a life that is swimming with happiness and nothing ever affects you. thanks for positive feedback, think matter should be closed before a slanging match starts!

[Ice.Maiden]

You sound quite young bubbles, and to some people, such a move can be very isolating. It's just a matter of having confidence and getting used to your new surroundings. If that doesn't happen, is there any way of you being able to come back here and stay with relatives or friends?

[daffy654]

My own family don't bother sending me cards let alone friends. I understand that you are upset bubbles but there are people that have far worse to worry about in their daily lives which is why you have negative replies here as well as supportive ones.To be honest you shouldn't post on an open forum if you aren't prepared to take the negative(and ignore it) along with the support.x

[Lucy Thomas]

Think yourself lucky. There are millions of people in Africa who have nothing to eat let alone a birthday card. They would probably swap their miserable existence for yours in an instant. We all have problems and things that get us down but we learn how to cope with them and don't come on sites like this whingeing about it.

If this is getting you so stressed, how would you cope in a real crisis.

[shanx]

well said lucy X

[bubbles4920]

i accept that it is an open forum but do expect understanding and as i said things are relative, i dont know any child in africa who i can swap my life with now, whenever someone is upset about something there is a reason and is appreciated.

[mirela]

im living in abroad over 5 years, my mates even didnt say happy birthday to me most time, im not bothered at all, everyone got busy life, but real friendship wont change just becuase a card or a word. bubbles, you probly just missing home etc i know how does it feel living alone abroad, but just try to make new friends and keep yourself happy, and your friends still there, and dont pass on your upset to them.

[filthiestfis]

Im sure some African kids would be happy to eat the birthday cards hehehe