Somebody asked for money

[Hgrove]

Something strange happened today.  I was walking home from school with my daughter and various friends when a car stopped and the woman driver opened the door.  I thought she wanted to ask me the way.  Instead she told me that she was going to her mother's in Kent because she had had a bust up with her husband and had no money, and asked me if I could spare a pound for her.  I was going to give her short shrift and then I thought there was just a chance it might be true, and I thought both she and the little girl with her looked upset, so I gave her �5.   She started thanking me but I just felt embarassed and had to walk away.  I am not too worried about the �5, even if it was a con, it is not a great sum for me.  But something like that had never happened to me before.  Has anyone been in such a situation?

[RevShirls]

I can agree to a certain extent about bunny's friend, fakeplastic, but to another extent I think I have a tendency to disagree - especially the bit about bunny's friend bringing people home. I was brought up in this environment. My dad, was a minister and he often brought people home (to stay) or invited them in for a meal if they came to the door. My brother and I had toys etc stolen and various advances made to us. I think the worst time was when a serial conman came to our house. He was definitely in need of food and psychological help. My brother was turfed out of his bed (I think he was around 8 at the time) and made to sleep in my bed with me (I was 11). In the middle of the night this guy came into my bedroom and tried to touch my brother inappropriately. My mum was livid but my dad continued to bring people off the street for many years. When I was a student I did much the same a few times. I found a guy sleeping rough in a skip. I felt so sorry for him. It was December and he seemed ill. I tried to get him into hospital but because he was drunk the hospital wouldn't help, so I took him home and gave him some food and hot chocolate, washed his clothes and my flatmate lent him some clothes till his clothes were dry. He disappeared during the night and lots of our stuff had been stolen. It was hellish as we were pretty poor anyway and really struggled to make ends meet for the rest of term. I now feel pretty strongly that the best way to help people is to help them to help themselves and to make more of their lives. It only takes a few seconds to give people money when they ask for it but I don't know if it is giving them real help. Perhaps it just helps to salve our conscience. It takes a lot longer to spend time with those who are in need, to find out if there is a real need,  and to help them back on their feet again.

[Hgrove]

You have a point RevShirls; my own take on this is that charity begins at home, and you can help people but it has to be to the extent that your own children do not suffer.  I have written that nothing like this episode had ever happened to me before, and I would have felt different if it was a regular occurrence, but it was an isolated incident in a quiet residential road away from traffic.  (I think a habitual conman would go to a road near a shopping centre or petrol station). I also agree that it is better to help people back on their feet, but I also think that there will be cases where immediate help is needed to get someone out of a crisis.  If this woman was genuine, if her husband had really kicked her out and she was really going to her mother's in Kent, then I think it was correct to give her money to enable her to get there, where she can be safe, and start getting herself back on her feet.  I shall probably never know, but I don't regret it, just in case it was genuine.

[BUNNY]

Ypu're right FP,he is a star and has helped alot of people.He says he has learnt alot by talking to homeless people and hearing the stories of what has happened in their lives to bring them to that point and that there are lessons there for all of us.And I shudder to think of how many times he has been ripped off completely!!

[cudgie]

I think that it  was a con, because why couldn't she ask her mum for money? I think I 'd probably still have given her the money though!