Somebody asked for money

[Hgrove]

Something strange happened today.  I was walking home from school with my daughter and various friends when a car stopped and the woman driver opened the door.  I thought she wanted to ask me the way.  Instead she told me that she was going to her mother's in Kent because she had had a bust up with her husband and had no money, and asked me if I could spare a pound for her.  I was going to give her short shrift and then I thought there was just a chance it might be true, and I thought both she and the little girl with her looked upset, so I gave her �5.   She started thanking me but I just felt embarassed and had to walk away.  I am not too worried about the �5, even if it was a con, it is not a great sum for me.  But something like that had never happened to me before.  Has anyone been in such a situation?

[tigga]

It happens a lot in liverpool and probably lots of other areas, i did the same for a guy who 'happened to be in an unfortunate situation' only to see him days later doing it again !. There is every possibility that the lady you helped was genuine, and it was very nice of you to do so either way, only when it happens constantly you tend to ignore them and continue on your way.

[robbieh]

When i lived in Derby, there was this same woman in a grey puffa jacket who always sounded distressed and who asked me for a pound every day. Apparently a well known drug addict in the area!!

[2nd row]

  whilst in Dublin city, the traffic lights changed to red, stopped,... this women came up, carrying a child, holding up one copy of the Big Issue, opened the window, gave her a �1.... did she hand me the B/I ? no !  green light, had to go ! 2 days later, same traffic lights, i was further back this time, same woman, same child, same Big Issue...... last week, halloween, in my home city, a woman sitting in her car, in an area which are nearly all pubs/bars/resturants, late at night, watching this/her child go into many of these places,which were mostly packed out, carrying this pumpkin, with a lit candle in it, asking for money please.... he managed to enter quite a few, and the report is that he was given a good few pounds in each, but was gently refused entry in one.. started to walk back to the woman/car, but she was pointing to him to cross the road, and go into those,,,, the child was about 8/9.... all of it had been noticed though, and the police were called, by the time they had arrived, she and the child had gone...... i will NOT name the country from whence these people come, but 'they ' are experts at all this, although, picking pockets/handbags are their top speciality too .... and for all those London folk who use Oxford St, regular, will know what i mean.

[georgit79]

It was a con.

[Dark Angel]

Once when I was walking in Pimlico in the afternoon, a chap who looked like a builder with scruffy clothes asked me for some change to get a sandwich and a cup of tea. I gave him the change I had which was about 1 pound and he seemed happy enough. He looked quite sturdy though, not weak and hungry looking, but probably someone short of cash. I didn't feel bad about it because if someone is hungry then I'd feel guilty to walk away, but if I know they are using it for drugs  liquor or cigarettes, then I'll ignore them.

[cheyenne]

There use to be a guy in bournemouth square who would ask for money,he was well known, he had a multicoloured umbrella,and he use to direct the traffic in the middle of the road waving is umbrella.it was funny to watch.but when he died he was all over the local papers .he died a Millionaire!!

[CiderMonkey]

Living in London this kind of thing happens ALL the time. I know the majority of the cases are cons but every now and then you hear an original story and I tend to give money in case it's true (my boyfriend thinks I am a mug but i'd want someone to do the same for me if i was in a bad situation!). Some homless guy was asking for money, he said he only needed �2 to be able to stay in a hostel for the night (it was the middle of winter!). So i gave him the �2 happy that he'd have somewhere warm to go. I came back the same way a bit later on and he was still asking for money and even asked me again!! He had the cheek to get pi$$ed off with me when i told him i'd already given him enough money to supposedly get a place for the night. Also, there's another scam going on at petrol stations where a woman comes up and says she just needs a pound to be able to get some petrol as he car has run out. when you ask where the car is she tells you it's just down the road. Funny enough, when you offer to take some petrol in a tank down to her car she refuses the offer. This has happened a few times so is obviously a scam. Also, one time I had some girl looking quite anxious come up to me. she said she was meant to be meeting someone or something and her mobile phone had no credit and she just wanted to borrow mine to call her friend so say she was running late. I was just about to but realised there'd be nothing i could do if she legged it with my phone. I offered her a pound for the phone box but she didn't want it. I could go on and on about all of these things! I guess you just get used to it living in a big city!

[IggyB]

a guy in lewisham used to approach everyone near the DLR saying he was meant to be in hospital, he'd show you his hospital wrist band, and then tell you he'd been depressed there and snuck out to see a friend but now he really needed to get back to take his medication but he didn't have enough money for the train and obviously he couldn't call the hospital because then they'd know he had snuck out could you lend him a pound. I did the first time - he then tried the same story on me for about 3 month

[Octavius]

Well I feel a bit of a plank really.

On the way home after a night out in the west end, a woman came running up to me, and she looked all dishevelled and said that she has had a fall out with her friends who she was going home with and now she needs to get a taxi home could I lend her �20.  I felt sorry for her being gullible of course. She promised to pay back and took my number etc etc.  Needless to say I never heard from her again.

It was about 30 seconds after I realised what a dumb fool I was, and it didn't occur to me at the time trains were still running and she should have gone to a police station, but hey hum....

[cardboard]

Some people are honest though. About 5 years ago I was driving late at night when I spotted a girl walking home (presumably from the pub). It was a dark road with no streelights, probably not the best place for a young lady to be out alone. Having offered her a lift (which she naturally refused, not knowing me from David Harkness), I offered to pay for a taxi for her home. So, phoned a taxi, waited with her until it turned up, paid and left. I gave her my number, fully expecting never to see the money again but she did get in touch to return it

[BUNNY]

This is par for the course for a guy I work with.He went out shopping last week and met a woman the kids begging outside the shop,so he gave her the money for the shopping-about �30 I think.I told him he would have been better off giving her the food in case it was a scam,and he admitted that often he will bring homeless people into cafes for food and drinks.He also once went out for a pint of milk and came home with 20 random foreigners.I think his wife has just given up now!!

[CiderMonkey]

I was out with a friend and had just bought a big issue from a guy and had got chatting to him for a bit. We were going to pass him on our way back so i bought a cup of coffee and some cookies and took them over to him (it was the middle of winter and he must've been freezing!). He said it was really lovely of us and said he was about to turn it in for the day and have a drink in the pub and asked if we wanted to join him. As he was such a nice guy we went and when we got to the pub he offered to buy us a drink but we said no as it was hardly fair! But he was very insistent that we let him so we did. What a nice chap! We obviously felt very guilty and ended up buying HIM a drink back but i just thought it was a nice gesture on his part to offer us.

[twiglet4frog]

it sounds like a con trick to me and what would she want for a pound then? she just knows that no one will stop at a pound and if she asks 10 people for a pound she is likely to get �50 instead judging by what u did, but to be honest, if the money isnt much to u then u shouldnt dwell on whether u were conned cos we are ripped of most days in one form or anohter, but merely take heart from the fact that u were one of the few people to offer help to someone and did a good deed whether it was for a genuine call of help or not.

Let the con artists feel the embarrasing emotions and not you

[flashpig]

I am going to take a while to type this because it's a tricky subject and I'm not sure if I have any 'rules' I stick to on this, but here goes...

 

If I see someone begging depending on whether I can afford it, and depending on whether they are polite about it I will give money, if they ask for baccy I will give them baccy. I don't really care whether the money will go on drugs, booze, fags, etc. I mean, it's not really a nice and savoury thought, but they are going to get the money for these things somehow, and it's not like they are going to put the money into a savings account or invest it or anything.

 

Also, if people genuinely need money for something then I am actually happy to give them the money and the benefit of the doubt, and what's more I genuinely feel happy about doing it. A good deed and all of that.

 

I just think that if I can spare something, and somebody else needs something then we both feel good about sharing the money. I hope that maybe one day I will need something and somebody will help me out. I know I sound like a stinking commie, but I'm not, I just reckon that there are all times when we could do with a little help or kindness, and it makes me feel good to offer it.

 

But it is the made up story thing that ****** me off. It's worse than begging because it's taking advantage of somebodies trust. It just isn't fair, and it just irritates me that these people don't honestly beg. It's like they have some messed up pride, where they won't be seen begging but they will get their money howeverelse they can with no regard for the generosity and feelings of the people who they are (basically) stealing off.

It's just not right.

I hope you all could understand this.

[2nosey]

the same thing happend to me i was on my way home and went passed a bus shelter and a kid wanted money for the bus fare. i gave it to him without a second thought, i do it a lot with people who are on the streets i can't help it.

[2nosey]

oh this is a really funny story: my two sisters were on the tram when suddenly a man came on to the tram and told every1 he had just been mugged he said he's got a fly to canada at 8 tonight and has no money at all to get to the airport. at first nobody got up then my sister got up and gave him 2 pounds so some other people got up to give him money he thanked them and got off at the next stop. as soon as this happend a woman shouts out 'he does that every sunday'

[RevShirls]

I tend to never give money to people. I used to work in an area where people constantly came to our church asking for money. I would help them in other ways however. If they said they needed money for food, I would either take them shopping and pay for the shopping. If people needed a meal I would give them meal vouchers for a cafe in the area, bus vouchers for bus travel etc. After a while it was only the ones in genuine need that came to ask for help. There were a few that came to me saying that they were starving but when I said that I'd get them a fish supper from the local chippie and some groceries, they told me where to go (not so politely). We had a benevolent fund in my church and if it was problems with payment of rent etc we would help by writing a cheque directly to the landlord/council etc.

It was, of course, easier to do this as we had a system in place to give help to those who genuinely needed it and it is much more difficult when you are approached, so I really understand your dilemma, Hgrove.

[apricot2]

I used to deal with welfare issues for a large trade union.  I have been scammed by professional people who still work for my organisation.  I don't know how they hold their heads up.  mr apricot was once approached in Edinburgh by a guy who begged in German,  (mr apricot is a tall blue eyed blond with a big square head), I was so impressed I gave him 50p for being enterprising.

[Scarlett]

I think this happens to everyone!! On one occasion I gave a guy �1 for the bus. About 2 years later he came up to me and gave me the �1 back!!! I hadn't even remembered giving it away! Similarly, I have been stopped more than once by the same con artist. In which case I say no! I also remember a really didgy looking bloke asking me for bus fare at the bus station- it was because he desperately needed insulin- he was sweating and red and in a bad way! But he looked so rough it would have been easy to run away.But if you aren't sure, just listen to your conscience. Either way, karma-wise you are doing a good deed, and it will all come back to you some day.

[FP]

I like the sound of your colleague BUNNY.  There are too few people like him around nowadays.  Most People are only out for themselves and quickly turn away from those in need.  Obviously, your colleague will get conned sometimes, but I bet he has also helped a lot of very genuine people.