Like Greedyfly, I haven't been widowed but I have also lost very very close people. I agree with the "day at a time" approach - allow yourself to have a better day if it happens, without feeling guilty about it. If you manage to laugh, imagine your man laughing too. Equally, allow the bad days. People are pretty bad and talk about "moving on" (dreadful expression) very quickly, but grieving can take yonks, and if you don't grieve properly, it can be much worse later. Find nice things to doand spent time with friends/family who support you, however you feel that day. Very sorry about your loss, coccinelle.