Recently widowed

[coccinelle]

Having been recently widowed I would like any of you lovely ABers to give me some tips and advice to get through the next few months. My husband was young (53) and we had no children. I'm not looking for sympathy but would like to hear other people's experience.

[NoMercy]

Really sorry for your loss. I've nothing wise to impart in terms of advice on how to cope, but I can safely say they'll always be people on here to jeer you up when you need it. X x

[bella46]

I was widowed at 57, you never get over it, but just take one day at a time, and it does get easier. You will never forget, but come to terms, live has to go on, although sometimes its hard, and you wonder why? now 7 years down the line, I am just getting my life back together, I still ask why, but god deals the cards, how you play them is up to you. Hope this helps

[askyourgran]

coccinelle, my sister-in-law lost her beloved husband to cancer several years ago now. Of course she was devastated, but she was lucky in that she came from a large family and they had three grown up children of her own. She knew she had to carry on without burdening her family too much with her sorrow. She found comfort in the Church, and also being a good neighbour. Her next-door neighbour became a close friend and she helped to nurse her when she was dying from cancer. I admire my sister in law, she has come through this heartache by her unselfish acts of kindness, her house is immaculate she has kept herself healthy and active. And she still speaks of love and pride of her husband.

[ttfn]

Hello coccinelle. The dignity and simplicity of your post is commendable. I have been in a similar situation. Bereavement is such a personal thing, I do not believe that two people ever experience it in the same way. I find it is the little things which cannot be foretold that catch me unawares. But it really doesn't matter. Grieving, however and whenever we do it, is a natural part of dealing with bereavement. I have always advised others to cope with it as naturally as possible. I could not manage without the support and love of my dearest friend - how or why they put up with me is beyond by understanding, but I thank them from the bottom of heart. I hope you too have someone to help you coccinelle. Wanting to help your friend is a positive thing to do, but you must be able to have time for yourself too. I send you the vey best wishes for your future ♥

[Buenchico]

As I've often stated before on AB, I have no real understanding of the concept of grief. I've never grieved for anyone and I know that I never will. (Yes, I know I'm weird but at least I'm not hypocritical. I won't pretend to 'empathise' when I simply can't).

However I'm not unhelpful. If you need someone to talk to, or to advise you, these people might be able to help:
http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/
You might even like to consider joining their volunteers, so that you can help others in similar circumstances.

Chris

[society]

Darn Chris, you are almost sounding like Sqad in this post.

[coccinelle]

Thank you to all you late nighters for your support, it's very touching I know i'll be able to come on here and feel I'm in good company. Yes, hopefully one day I'll be able to help someone through this same thing as having gone through it myself. of course, no two people moarn in the same way... Thank you so much.