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just to inform, this is a genuine post, i have used AB in the past, i have created a new profile for this question. mamya, i have tried writing it down many times, but as a lot of the issues that affect me and how i was stem from my school days (bullying) to suffering from depression and in denial about it, it is only recently i have come to terms with all of this stuff and through reflection can see how i truly feel about her and how and why i have acted in the ways that i have previously. i have written pages down before now, but it never sounds sincere, just a list of excuses almost. am looking to try and talk to her to see how she may feel and figure out how to broach the subject of my recent epiphany of why i was such a **** and how i truly feel. it is quite a dilemma i can assure you, would really like some friendly advice or pointers