do i believe him??

[sheribeee]

i FOUND A STOCKING THat doesnt belong to me next to my husbands chair. He denies anything going on... should i believe him??

[sleepy1]

does he like bingo ..?.maybe he dresses as a woman to play that ,,,like that ad on tv

[firetracie]

If you've had no reason to suspect him before why on earth are you in such a state now?
If he is messing about to leave such an obvious clue would be like making a confession. What - if anything has happened recently in your relationship to make you immediately believe that he's having an affair?

[unhappychick]

I would have to ask myself some questions...does he like stockings and suspenders? or has he showed an interest or expressed that he would like you to wear them?

Very odd, I must say and I would be feeling the same as you, but look at it like this, would fleshy coloured stockings be a turn on?, I think most men would prefer black!!!

Also could his mates have done it for a laugh, they do tend to cling to things, ie other clothes.

[sheribeee]

he is not really interested in sex with me, he will on occassions, but he says he is too tired/stressed/cant b bothered/watching tv.. he is on anti depressants for stress.
he just doent really seem to be trying to convince me, he just says he cant prove it.
we have been together 11 yrs in 2 days, im 27. he is 34, and i am quite good looking, lots of men comment etc (i dont think im that great) so its not like im fat and ugly.

[sara3]

you may have just stumbled on a fetish he has.. may be worth exploring...

[cherrycherry]

I think some men prefer flesh coloured stockings if they are into the old glamour/1950s burlesque style of lingerie, but I don't think that's what sheribeee wants to hear right now, so I will just wish all the best and I agree that you should not jump to any conclusions...if you are married then you need to work it out together, I hope

[unhappychick]

The fact that he seems as if he cant be bothered to try and convince you of otherwise, tells me this man is very comfortable in your relationship and feels stable, you on the other hand I suspect are dissapointed with regards to your sexual relationship, as you dont seem to do it a lot, which has probably made you jump to the conclusion that he is having an affair cos he not interested in sex with you....like I said before, sounds like hes pretty comfortable in the relationship....If you are bothered about the sex bit or should I say lack of it, I would tell him, your only young, get it sorted before its too late!!!

[Drisgirl]

I think he likes a bit of cross dressing if you want my honest opinion. he will be embarassed to tell you for fear of your reaction -it wouldnt put me up nor down TBH -so you have to let him know that if thats what it is then its no big deal and that you are relieved thats all it was.

Loads of men wear womens panties and sussies and stockings -they just like the feel of it -hey you could get worse wee 'fetishes'.

Relax hun -im sure its nothing to do with another woman !

[stonekicker]

sheribee - if this was me, i would come to only two conclusions - AND i would tell my partner this too. either he is playing away and his shagpiece left it there in a hurry or couldn't find it on the way out OR he likes wearing stocking/women's clothing and he left it there unwittingly. i would also add that i didn't give a sh!t which it was, that i am hugely p!55ed off with him and that i would withdraw ALL wifely services/priviledges until he can be honest with me (i.e. admit to one of my conclusions or come up with a reasonable explaination apart from dunno...).

that means no sex, washing, cooking, snuggling, sleeping in the same bed, errands, chat, moral support or anything whatsoever - i'd be sooooo angry i'd probably do him a mischief in the middle of the night when he is peacefully snoring and i am stewing in my own juice.

you need to be honest with him about how you feel and he also needs to explain himself. without this, the issue will never be settled and i know if that was me, my relationship would quickly fall apart. you also need to tell him what YOU expect of him and the consequences of him not doing so - be clear and firm, stand your ground and he will eventually give it up.

on a lighter note, a former workmate of mine went through the same thing (only with a bra) and was relieved to find out that her hubby wasn't cheating, but cross dressing. i know that sounds weird, but she said she would rather that than him cheating and they are still married (happily) and now have a child. it is a bit weird when i bump into him in his 'alternative' personality, mind you as i live in the next street and do so quite often. he's 6'2'' and looks like a beanpole!

be assertive! i wish you the best of luck x

[Bathsheba]

Can you just be clear on the type of stocking you're describing, sheribeee?
Is it a popsock? Or a full length type to be worn with suspenders? x

[Rosetta]

I know it might be a stupid question, but do you use a launderette?

[Velvetee]

Well as others have said, it could be a number of things.

1) He uses the stocking as a masturbation aid
2) He likes to wear stockings
3) He is having sex elsewhere and the stocking belongs to the lady in question.
4) He robs banks in his spare time.
5) He wears it to conceal his identity whilst going out to prey on defenceless women.
6) He stole it off a neighbours washing line, for sexual fetishist reasons.

Probably best to ask him to be honest.

[pauliwauli2]

I have to say, I love velvetee's answer! haha.

[lil75]

I take it as we havent heard from sheribee, she is in the middle of a bust up.....hope you find the answers your looking for

[sheribeee]

THANKU!!! so much everyone, what a wide range of answers!! No i went bed last night as he was just watching tv, not saying anything to me at all, think he was prob scared!! I slept in our daughters bed last night, wheni told him he asked why and i said i need space. No reply again! He didnt wake me this morn, so i text to ask why, he called and said he didnt think id want him to.
Im so confused!! As for the cross dressing theory, i can honestly say i dont think so... i clean the house and would have found something im sure by now... the stocking is skin colour and sorta knee high stay up, the sort a woman would wear with trousers or boots or nice shoes. not sexy ones.
I think i have decided i need time to think and will move out for a bit, go rent somewhere i think!! i work part time, so should get my tax credits increased enough so i can afford the rent!! I just hope im making the right decision.
The trust has gone, he denies another woman, i wish i could believe him, but i just cant!!
I dont wanna hurt him, if he is innocent, and i dont want to fall out, ie angry and upset about the split, i just cant handle this... all the evidence points to him cheating!! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pips1]

PLEASE don't go - you will regret it. Take it from someone who knows! I am on my own as my ex DID have an affair and admitted to it straight away, they usually do as they find it a relief. They also can't handle the guilt usually, but it is SO HARD on your own, believe me. I wish now I had calmed down and tried to work things out.

[eyebrows]

is your husband santa clause?

[Bathsheba]

Hi sheribee.
Thanks for updating us- so many folk post sad stories like yours then never follow up, + we're left worrying!
Is it possible that the stocking was carried into the house accidentally? Have you got a dog? Cat? xx

[Octavius]

You are so confused yet you have managed to calculate tax credits and potential rent even before you have decided to move out or find somewhere?
I suspect if your husband was having it away he would have come up with a naff excuse about why the stocking was there � its what men do (apparently) � so you are left with a couple of options, many of which have been proffered.

I suggest that you try and have a calm and civilised conversation with your partner about it, without jumping to any conclusions. It may be that he really can�t explain it, and if that is the case you either accept that or you don�t.

[tufty7]

Oh for goodness sake give him a break , perhaps you are not trying or not exciting enough for him , Men need stimulation , You need to ask him out right whats happening , talk it out and move on, lifes too short .....