should I leave him?

[notnotnot]

Ive been dating my man for nearly a year but not without much problems. When we first met I noticed on of his girl pals was over the top with him, licking him at parties, touching him, tickling him, taking him away for 'private chats and cuddles' at partys. I at first tolerated it but when she became too much for me to handle I sat my boyfirend down and told him I didnt mind the friendship but the flirting had to stop. (none of his other girl pals act this way) He replied "I want to flirt with her, everyone else does". from then on I've had major insecurity issues with her and I cant seem to let it go.

One time me and the girl had an argument over this to which she said "I dont care about what you think I just want to take him away for private chats and cuddles" my boyfriend was with me when she was saying this and when she went away to get her drink I asked him to tell her to back off. He replyed "Oh I'll tell her not to cuddle me because you have an insecurity". The problems have esculated from here...

I dumped him and days later he was out partying with her and her facebook profile picture was made of her and him cuddling!! We got back together and he cut her out his life completely (because of me). However all his friends hang out with her, shes there everywhere they go. Shes centre of the groups attention and it wont change. I make it very difficult to see his friend which is wrong of me but I hate her.

I want him to see his friends without there being any problems but I cant let this go. I really dislike this girl. Having friends is normal and I dont want to be like this. Its just she is always around. He needs his friends and i'm making it so difficult. I know i'm being very unfair. I do not know what I should do.

Should I dump him and move on with my life?

[mccfluff]

"licking him at parties" whaaaat? i'd get rid

[TheOtherHalf]

Yea, definitely dump !! and move on. Theres lots of nice fellas out there

[BeaverDiva]

so his view is that its perfectly acceptable to be at a party with his girlfriend and then go off with some other tramp for private chats and cuddles???

Sounds like he's changed now though - doesn't see her anymore? at all? if that's the case, then why ask the question about dumping him? He's clearly made a big sacrifice of time with his friends (including this girl) to be with you - would you really want to argue with him until you get what you want, and then dump him? seems a little unfair really.....

Out of interest - How old are you all by the way?

[redcrx]

yes, if you cant handle the fact that, despite him dropping her friendship, she is still about then yes you should leave the guy.

[Nosha123]

private chats and cuddles are not what a FRIEND would do.... she obviously fancies the hell out of him and wants you out of the frame..

maybe you should make friends with a gorgeous guy and start cuddling him!!!

Would your BF have something to say about that eh!!!

[daffy654]

Are you expecting this girl to move to another town or something so that she isn't 'still around'?

Your fella no longer sees this girl and you still have a problem so yes, you should leave him and find yourself a boyfriend who has no friends at all.

[merciasounds]

I don't see you having much of a relationship if you don't have trust. Would Little-Miss-Popularity like it if her boyfriend was hijacked at social gatherings for 'private talks and cuddles,' hmm? How come she has no BF of her own? Does she do this to other guys too is is it just your man? if it's the latter, then she has designs on him that means she wants a relationship with him, if it's all males then i suppose it's less for you to worry about, but while she's on the scene this is always going to be an issue for you. Quite frankly, your Bf's reaction 'i'll tell her not to cuddle me as you have insecurities' is very insensitive and he obviously enjoys the attention he gets from her. I think for your own peace of mind, I'd dump him. She'll either end up with him, or somebody who's jealous and less tolerant than you will end up slapping her!

[notnotnot]

daffy in reply to: Your fella no longer sees this girl and you still have a problem so yes, you should leave him and find yourself a boyfriend who has no friends at all

Its not that I want a guy without pals....Which is why I wana leave him so he can see his pals without anyproblems because this girl will be there. He has plenty of girl pals so its not a matter of not having friends its ONE girl I cant stand for lots of reasons. This girl will never be out his life since shes in with his pals & im finding it difficul and as I admitted im being unfair and making it difficult for him.

She split up his last relationship when he was on the fone to an ex at a party he went into a quiet room to talk to his ex...she found him and screamed "come back to bed".
So its not just me whos felt intimidated by her.

Everyone in his friend circle says its just the way she is...I didnt mind the friendship & asked the flirting to stop, she doesnt see it as flirting and even though it hurt me she carried on regardless. My boyfriend thinks her screaming "come back to bed" was her having banter...I think the opposite!!!!

[ummmm]

Cuddles....I give my male mates a quick peck and mini hug on arrival and departure. Anything inbetween is crossing the line.

She sounds like insecure one...

Has he explained this to his 'so called' friend?

[mccfluff]

i have a lot of close male friends and i might give them a kiss hello/goodbye but that's it. i'd love to see their faces if i started licking them, ha ha i might try that later

[snags]

''licking him at parties''

lol... was he alcoholic?

[supersuezy24]

This sounds JUST like how my ex's female friend was with him!!
Once we were all out at a gig and she took her heels off and threw her feet up on his lap and said "gimme a foot massage will ya my feet are killing" while I was sat nearby!!! I wanted to slap her haha I felt quite jealous which I think is only normal. Have you tried talking to her about it properly, about how it makes you feel and stuff?

[merciasounds]

supersuezy!! I've missed you!!

[funnygirl]

I would not be able to cope with this, so I would have to get rid!

I am a highly jealous person and I reckon I would have murdered her!

[notnotnot]

i talked to her yes, but she doesnt think shes doing anything wrong...she said she acts the same way with her brother, so she must be flirting with him too. She said thats the way she is and she wont change. I just really have a problem with her, and I didnt try stop the friendship until things got way out of hand and I couldnt take anymore. I feel like she over steps the line and its to the point where im crying, feeling sick or angry & I couldnt live like this anymore.

Tbh it hurts me more that my boyfriends attitude towards it. He has never spoke to her and told her to back off...He said he wouldnt care if some guy took me away for private chats and cuddles if they were friends. Although he doesnt like a few really good looking male pals and I asked if he'd like it if it was them and he said no! He seems to think shes just being a friend, he sticks up for her and never really seems to understand my feelings...

I am upset over all this situation and my heads a mess. I love him dearly but I cant go on. He has plenty attractive female mates who are just mates. One girl at a party came in hugged him and gave him a wee kiss, that was find...I could see the friendship & they are still pals...its just this girl takes it to the extreems of going off with my man! Its affecting me...I know its affecting him..and I feel like the bad person through all of this.

[ummmm]

Your BF is as much to blame. Mine gives the girlies big hugs especially if they're down. Our friends are mutual though...and some related to me. He would never wonder off to hug them privately though.

He's as much to blame. If I told my OH I wasn't comfortable with him hugging the girlies he wouldn't do it....simple.

[tigwig]

I think if it is making you this unhappy then yes dump him and move on. This girl must be highly insecure and totally attention seeking to behave like this and your BF sounds to me like he enjoys it really. Whether or not he does though when he knows it upsets you is the issue. In my opinion he either tells this girl to stop it and means it then ignores her completely if she carries on or loses you.
This is not a happy relationship and the girl must really be screwed up. I would feel like knocking her out! Although another idea may be to both ignore her and pretend you don't care at all, then you start being all over your BF in fromt of her, see how she likes it!

[lil75]

I would not put up with this at all, how would he feel if men started licking your face or squeezing your shoulders if you felt a little tense, or sodding off for cuddles, nah sorry, he would have to go if he didnt understand or wouldnt stop it...she sounds like a ho whos desperate for attention no matter who she upsets as long as she gets her kicks! If he doesnt want to stop the antics or doesnt understand, its simple, you will end up feeling like this on many occassion and do you want to waste any more of your time?

[MarkRae]

Licking him at parties? Do you have her number...?

[lil75]

There are plenty of dogs at battersea that will lick your face markrae! :o)