i want a baby so bad but my partner of 5 years doesnt

[babsthebunny]

i am 23 and my partner is 31 he have been to gether for 5 years and before we got together him has know that i wanted a baby one day and for about 3 years i have wanted to start trying but he doesnt i really wont one and i just dont know what to do i have tryed everything to make him know everything will be ok and things will be ok in the end but he just doesnt want to know what i have to say


WHAT CAN I DO OR SAY PLEASE HELP

[gingejbee]

That's true - but putting the two threads together? I may well be wrong, hope so.

[ummmm]

I think it's down to her insecurity....

[babsthebunny]

well i hope so toooo now cos i am now just in a pickle

[babsthebunny]

insecurity and if it is that how pray do i sort that out

[karenmac60]

I can see the link too ginge, but I was thinking maybe he was using the porn and avoiding sex so as to prevent any little 'accidents'.

[bednobs]

not that i would ever advocate tricking your partner, but some people don't know they want children till it happens. My husband never really wanted children (and i thought i couldn't get pregnant) when he found out i was pregnant he was so over the moon, i couldn't tether him! Mind you, it could go the othe rway and you could find yourself a single prent

[tanny22]

listen to onetoomany thats sense dont think your harsh good advice well said

[redcrx]

please dont just rig things in order to get pregnant unless you are prepared to be a single parent at 23. Not all men would change their minds if forced like that

[babsthebunny]

i would never trick him with doing that and i know he is not cheating on me cos he doesnt go out anywhere but work or have friends over to our place or we take the dog for a walk so just cos he is watching porn and not wanting babies doesnt mean he dosnt love me to bits i just want to know how to ask him in a better way for having a baby and is it normal for a male with a partner to watch porn and i am getting people saying he is cheating on me and doesnt love me ect.... bit harsh when u dont now the rest of our living life together

[LoftyLottie]

Yes, it was harsh Babs and totally out of order. We don't know your partner and only have your side of the story. I for one don't assume he has somebody else and I can only guess that people who think like this have either been cheated on or played away themselves.

Nothing is black and white. Personally, I think you should try and forget about babies for a while and not mention the subject. Bring it up again in about six months in a light hearted away and don't make him feel as if perhaps you are just in the relationship for babies.

Take care xx

[LoftyLottie]

And don't question him about porn either. It's perfectly normal to look at porn - and he has no need to feel guilty. By asking him if he has been watching it will suggest to him that you are disapproving.

[ummmm]

Don't listen to onetoomany...

[LoftyLottie]

Absolutely right ummmm. Obviously onetoomany has issues!!

[jaydah]

wots your role in his life - clearer/cleaner & phukker.....dont say you keep him as well ?

[babsthebunny]

thanks LoftyLottie that means alot, i am not saying i am not over reacting about things some times and maybe over do it and make little fights with him but who doesnt have rows. i have been cheated on and been in a relationship where i have been hit about so i do worry that things are happening what they are not happening doesnt make me a bad person and i feel i can trust him and every now and then i get bit down cos i feel i am not good anuff for him but u know what i try and look at it like this he is not good anuff for me when things are on the rocks. i am prob bit panicy cos my dad died and my mum got cancer in the same mouth of dad killing himself and i think yes i am insucre in like who wouldnt be after so much in such a short life and well maybe i am not ready for a baby and could wait abit.

LoftyLottie u know one person can say something and make it all clear and others just mix it all up and doght myself well just yr simpel words have helped it is black and white with bits of colours :D

[jaydah]

that's better TT :)

[babsthebunny]

thanks ummmmmm u have had some good points and thanks to people that havet said unuseful points and harsh radical and rubish just to put a girl down


i might be yound and bit green but hey dont we all in some points




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[LoftyLottie]

Perhaps you are wanting a baby so badly because of your insecurity babsthebunny. It happens. A baby needs to come in to a secure relationship really wanted by both parents. If your man doesn't one one and gives in to you it really isn't a very good start for your family. Wait and see. He sounds like a good bloke, he perhaps needs time.

Good luck to you and play it cool for a while x