Listener 4848 - Return By Dysart
Crosswords0 min ago
Don't you just love kids.
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time.
The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle,
carrying lighted candles.
All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you."
After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6-year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest of the week.
"Oh he's a very busy man," the father replied.
"He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor, and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know."
"The boy thought about that, and then said, "Well, listening isn't easy,
either."
A woman had been teaching her three-year-old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's
Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her.
One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer.
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail.
Amen."
A mother was watching her four-year-old child playing outside in a small plastic pool half filled with water.
He was happily walking back and forth across the pool, making big splashes.
Suddenly, he stopped, stepped out of the pool, and began to scoop water out of the pool with a pail.
"Why are you pouring the water out, Johnny?" the mother asked.
"Because my teacher said Jesus walked on water, and this water won't
work." The boy replied.
Pastor Stan Holdeman of Garden Baptist Church in Indiana went to an informal church gathering, wearing shorts and a T-shirt.
A little girl from a newly religious family; who had seen him only in his
Sunday morning suits loudly proclaimed.
"Hey, preacher, you sure look different with clothes on!"
After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented: "The choir was
awful this morning."
The father commented: "The sermon was too long."
Their seven year old daughter added: "You've got to admit it was a pretty
good show for a dime."
A four-year-old Catholic boy was playing with a four-year-old Protestant girl in a children's pool in the backyard.
They splashed each other, got very wet and decided to take their wet clothes off.
The little boy looked at the little girl and said, "Golly, I didn't know
there was that much difference between Catholics and Protestants."
A priest was walking along the school corridor near the preschool wing when a group of little ones were trotting by on the way to the
cafeteria.
One little lad of about three or four stopped and looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you dress funny?"
He told him that he was a priest and that this is the uniform priests wear.
Then he pointed to the priest's little plastic collar insert and asked, "Does it hurt? Do you have a cut?"
The priest was perplexed till he realized that to him the collar insert looked like a plaster.
So the priest took it out to show him. On the back of the collar are raised letters giving the name of the manufacturer.
The little boy felt the letters, and the priest asked, "Do you know what
those words say?"
"Yes I do," said the lad who was not old enough to read.
Peering intently at the letters he said, "It says, 'Kills ticks and fleas up to six months!"
The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle,
carrying lighted candles.
All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you."
After listening restlessly to a long and tedious sermon, a 6-year old boy asked his father what the preacher did the rest of the week.
"Oh he's a very busy man," the father replied.
"He takes care of church business, visits the sick, ministers to the poor, and then he has to have time to rest up. Talking in public isn't an easy job, you know."
"The boy thought about that, and then said, "Well, listening isn't easy,
either."
A woman had been teaching her three-year-old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's
Prayer.
For several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her.
One night she said she was ready to solo.
The mother listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word, right up to the end of the prayer.
"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail.
Amen."
A mother was watching her four-year-old child playing outside in a small plastic pool half filled with water.
He was happily walking back and forth across the pool, making big splashes.
Suddenly, he stopped, stepped out of the pool, and began to scoop water out of the pool with a pail.
"Why are you pouring the water out, Johnny?" the mother asked.
"Because my teacher said Jesus walked on water, and this water won't
work." The boy replied.
Pastor Stan Holdeman of Garden Baptist Church in Indiana went to an informal church gathering, wearing shorts and a T-shirt.
A little girl from a newly religious family; who had seen him only in his
Sunday morning suits loudly proclaimed.
"Hey, preacher, you sure look different with clothes on!"
After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented: "The choir was
awful this morning."
The father commented: "The sermon was too long."
Their seven year old daughter added: "You've got to admit it was a pretty
good show for a dime."
A four-year-old Catholic boy was playing with a four-year-old Protestant girl in a children's pool in the backyard.
They splashed each other, got very wet and decided to take their wet clothes off.
The little boy looked at the little girl and said, "Golly, I didn't know
there was that much difference between Catholics and Protestants."
A priest was walking along the school corridor near the preschool wing when a group of little ones were trotting by on the way to the
cafeteria.
One little lad of about three or four stopped and looked at him in his clerical clothes and asked, "Why do you dress funny?"
He told him that he was a priest and that this is the uniform priests wear.
Then he pointed to the priest's little plastic collar insert and asked, "Does it hurt? Do you have a cut?"
The priest was perplexed till he realized that to him the collar insert looked like a plaster.
So the priest took it out to show him. On the back of the collar are raised letters giving the name of the manufacturer.
The little boy felt the letters, and the priest asked, "Do you know what
those words say?"
"Yes I do," said the lad who was not old enough to read.
Peering intently at the letters he said, "It says, 'Kills ticks and fleas up to six months!"
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